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Everybody loves an I quit thread.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by MrBKerth, Apr 4, 2014.

  1. MrBKerth

    MrBKerth The Gypsy Bravado

    Apr 20, 2013
    So now that the smoke has settled and nothing is left of my old band I figured it'd be cathartic to put my story out there about the loss of a friend to the jaws of an insane woman and substance abuse.

    Band had been together gigging for about a year and we were a three piece rock thing. It was cool. Me and the drummer had been called the tightest rhythm section in town and we even made a bit of chump change playing originals. Guitar player had been dating this rampant pothead for a while but people I knew knew her friends etc. Suffice it to say we were acquainted. I didn't mind because in the past I did my fair share of drugs and it never hurt anybody or got in the way of my life (I quit after seeing some friends start sound the wrong drugs and wrong things in life). Of course though I tried to live and let live

    So things started slowly with him lying about things that really didn't matter. Whatever right? I don't care whether or not he's a university student anyways. Didn't hurt me any so long as he does what he's supposed to do. Then he starts using quite a few drugs with her. I didn't care until he stopped paying his share of the internet on time. Repeatedly. Trying to be professional I did my best not to let home life interfere with the band. Yes, We lived together.

    We started gigging a little prematurely so we needed like three covers to beef up our set's just a bit. He refused to learn them. Or he'd wait till we used gig money paying for rehearsal space to say he didn't know the simple modern rock power chord covers after nearly 3 weeks. Or worse, cancel after the drummer and I were at rehearsal waiting for him because he had pissed this girl off. I actually remember his words one time it happened. "I royally screwed up with blah blah and I don't think it'd be wise to leave her". We had a gig in two days.

    This is where things go from sucky to asinine. He missed a sound check and nearly the shows start to pick this lazy woman up from work which was not necessary because she lived like a mile away and there's FREE public transit. When he did show up he was in slip ons, basketball shorts and a dirty white shirt. He started being late to practices and rehearsals held at our apartment on a regular basis by 2 or more hours. When he did show up (late) he'd come in with her and smoothies (not like we had an internet bill in my name needing to be paid).

    Then he sold his good guitars to pay her rent (she still got evicted). Lied to us about why he suddenly only had the one beat up old electric. This whole time mind you he was in between jobs because he had a tendency to get lazy and just quit because his parents are paying most his way (like his half of the rent). Not to mention be was gigging a fender 25 watt solid state practice amp versus a full dw kit and bass rig. I talked to my drummer and told him our ship was mostly sunk. I said plug the hole by mutiny and throwing the guitarist overboard. My drummers plan of scuttle the ship won out. We scuttle the ship and start a second band.

    Now that harpy is living at my apartment, leaving moldy dishes in the sink for weeks at a time, they both hate me for the audacity of making them smoke outside (since our vents connect and I don't need everything I own to reek of marijuana, and riding the thermostat to a crisp 90,000 degrees Celsius. She does like to be cozy from the bottom of her hooves to the top of her pitchfork

    Here's the good news though. I played nice and before everything exploded I convinced him to sign himself off our lease as of May 31st. New roommate, New band (first gig this weekend), and no more dead weight. Don't make my mistake and continuously try to work with some loser who thinks he's going to get anywhere refusing to practice cause he doesn't "feel it". This account doesn't even include all the times the drummer and I tried to tighten things up and get him to at least half try.

    Rant done. What do you guys think? Anyone have something like this happen to them?
  2. When it comes to women (or partners of any sort I guess) and bad choices, they generally need to see it for themselves, they'll rarely listen to reason.

    Not a whole lot you can do but offer your best advice and avoid getting burned.

    If it goes beyond pot, it could be worth trying to intervene, but at this stage I don't think anything will help.
  3. Ironbar


    Aug 24, 2013
    Portland, Oregon
    I think you're way too accomodating. We who are much older than you would have probably cut this idiot loose a long tim ago.
  4. 1958Bassman


    Oct 20, 2007
    I had one roommate that I actually liked, the rest generally sucked. Once I was done with the last ones, I haven't had one.
  5. tangentmusic

    tangentmusic A figment of our exaggeration

    Aug 17, 2007
    Yeah... This story and variations of it happen all too often.

    I've been in bands where a bandmate's new woman/girlfriend carried a pitchfork too.

    Lessons in growing up, I suppose...
  6. bolophonic


    Dec 10, 2009
    Durham, NC
    I was hoping this was going to be about "two fingers" again.
  7. Take a look at metal band Sepultura! Four brothers, two by blood, Max and Igor; ate some real crap to get somewhere, somewhat famous at the time, making enough money to live off music. Till Max got together with Sonia, had a kid named Zyon, she would have her big nose into the band business constantly till Max left the band, eventually Igor left also, brotherhood forever shattered! Its all about have your priorities straight, a head between your shoulders, know what you want!
  8. MrBKerth

    MrBKerth The Gypsy Bravado

    Apr 20, 2013
    Yeah. I feel I overvalued my drummer at the time. We worked really well together. He's just not "harsh" like me because I was ready to fire him after our first taking to about what we needed in a band. Drummer flaked on me not long after that and so this band I'm in now is totally fresh. Some self taught theory, work ethic, good gear, business minded. It's great. I also tried harder because I had to go home with the putz. Oh well. I'll take the glares and harassment, I'm not the one with debt collectors cause of a girl and impending homelessness.
    When you've been in nothing but garage bands, a little money flowing your way for the occasional six pack can be kind of blinding when your pessimistic like me. Never knew how good it could really be till now
  9. MrBKerth

    MrBKerth The Gypsy Bravado

    Apr 20, 2013
    Me and the drummer were actually sort of prog-esque musicians and he was a lazy bastard going as far as the power chords would let him. He knows she's bad news to. You should've seen the pain in his eyes when she would "oh you guys are going to be the next fair to Midland, how much money do you have honey? 2$, buy me some McDonald's" and he'd look at us with desperation in his eyes. Just dreadful.
  10. Bloodhammer

    Bloodhammer Twinkle Twinkle Black Star

    Jul 7, 2009
    Shreveport, Louisiana
    What I've learned (it took me almost my whole twenties, mind you) is a simple rule that will keep you and anyone who listens to this piece of wisdom out of relationships like that.

    Don't let in strays.

    By "strays", I mean men or women who have no money of their own and will glom onto someone else and depend on them to provide everything.
  11. True that.

    It's why I take the financial hit and live alone. Worth it.
  12. MrBKerth

    MrBKerth The Gypsy Bravado

    Apr 20, 2013
    That's brilliant logic. My band now is made of consummate youthful professionals but I'm going to hang onto this advice. I work hard in a steel plant to provide for myself and my future. Not like it's my funeral anyways. He's the one attached to money hungry :bassist:

    When I met this girl I hear through the grapevine she was going to come after me till she met my roommate and friend of 10 years. Dodged a bullet!
  13. NWB


    Apr 30, 2008
    Kirkland, WA
    It worked out that you're a bassist and she, typically, went after the guitarist.
  14. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member

    The morals of the story:

    1) Don't build a band with flaky people.
    2) Don't sleep with anyone crazier than you are.
  15. Helaskold

    Helaskold 100% Mediocre

    Jul 22, 2012
    Austin, TX
    I feel like I wouldn't let someone not give me their share of the bills even once before I started finding a new roommate. It's one thing if they got laid off and I see them actively job hunting, it's another for them to not give me money and then come in with a freakin' smoothie. You were extremely patient and he took advantage of it... fortunately, it looks like that's over now.
  16. MrBKerth

    MrBKerth The Gypsy Bravado

    Apr 20, 2013
    Oh I looked immediately but it was a bill outside the lease so i was stuck with him. Not after may 31st. He's out on the streets then
  17. Words to live by. Seriously.
  18. Gaolee

    Gaolee Outta my way! I'm caffeinated! Supporting Member

    So, you are sworn to a life of soloing and celebacy?:bag:
  19. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    I've got nothing.