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feeling betrayed

7StringBassist

7StringBassist

Oct 16, 2008
1,061
0
41
El Segundo, CA
www.myspace.com
#1
Atm I don't know what to do

I've been in my band for 8 months
Took the time to learn their Songs with letting them decide the bass lines
And the drummer happens to be from my old band and happens to be my friend
All was good and what not then today while searching craigslist I see an ad for a bassist for the band I'm in. No warning nothing as if I'm replaceable like that and to be honest it kind of P's me off. I've spent money and time on them as well. Im so pissed that I can't write out my thoughts in order.

What would you do ??
 
#4
Sorry man. That's a pretty crappy way of finding out you're being replaced. I wouldn't bother confronting them - just pick up and move on. If they don't have the guts to tell you in person, then they're not worth wasting time getting upset over. It hurts, it sucks, it <insert verb here>, but don't waste time or sleep over them.

When things clear over, talk to your old drummer and find out what happened - ask him for constructive criticism.

Good luck. Things happen for a reason.
 
#7
If you are able to answer their CL ad via e-mail, open a hotmail e-mail and tell them you are interested. Ask them what happened to their last bass player. Depending on how professional they are, you may find out how they really feel about you.
 
#8
I would approach them about it.

I would suggest printing off the ad, and bringing it to the next practice. Wait for everyone to be there, then bring it up.

Handle it maturely and just ask them what's up with this situation.

Freaking out and being a bitch in return isn't going to help anyone. It sounds like you're handling it well, so just keep it up and be calm :)
 
#9
Bands are like marriages, people are in 'em because they want to be. If they want to replace you, they will. But I agree it's pretty crappy, the way they're going about it. Taking the chickenpoopie way, stringing you along while they search on the sly...

...you have a choice to make. Either they will find someone to replace you, or they won't. You can lay low, and bank on the possibility that they will not be able to replace you. Or you wait for the next rehearsal, walk in, pack up your stuff, and leave...no notice, no nothing...that's how they were intending on treating you, right? Leave them high and dry, like they were going to do to you.

...as for myself, I wouldn't play in a band where I wasn't wanted, or where I knew the others were trying to replace me. I would choose the latter option.
 
#12
Show up real mad with the craigslist ad. Then, start crying and babble something about the time you went home after rehearsal and carved the name of the band on your headboard. Tell them something like "well I guess, what goes around comes around, huh?", even if it doesn't fit in the context of what's being said. Wet your pants, call them ninnies, and leave while humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic, really loudly.

That's how I'd do it, YMMV.
 
#14
I once found out I was kicked out of a band when I was showing a friend of mine the band's new webpage, and the home page read: "Sadly, Zach has left the group to pursue other projects".

Luckily, it wound up being for the better (they replaced me w. a coke dealer, and half the band became addicts, breaking up the band... so the "bad" experience for me resulted in some wonderful schadenfreude... but I digress...).

Anyways, I feel your pain brother.
 
#16
Play it as you see fit.
It DOES suck to be treated badly - by a band, by a friend, by a lover.
My personal tolerance for the particular "no-notice" BS they're pulling is very low.
Yours may vary. Seeing if they "confront" you seems an odd choice - by posting an ad without telling you, they're essentially trying to replace you without confrontation or even conversation.
Hitting the exits running seems a much sounder option. If my gear was there, I'd show up and pack it. If my gear wasn't there, I'm not sure I'd see any point in showing up.
Good luck.
 
#17
I'm supprised no one has suggested this:

Reply to the ad! Pretend to be from a neighboring town and use a different name, but describe yourself to them everything you know the group needs. They'll have to agree to an audition, then when you show up everyone will be like "lol wut," and you can confront them about it.

I would normally suggest being professional about it, but you didn't mention the groups average age range. We might be dealing with highschoolers here.

But I can pretty safely assure you that if you go to your next practice and pretend like you know nothing, they will not bring it up. You are going to have to confront them on it. And they aren't going to take it very easily. You caught them on their BS, and in all likelyhood are either going to deny it or it's going to start a fight. Just try to talk it out. Figure out WHY they're looking to replace you and correct it... If it's worth correcting. That's up to you to decide.
 
#20
Asphalt Bass said:
If you are able to answer their CL ad via e-mail, open a hotmail e-mail and tell them you are interested. Ask them what happened to their last bass player. Depending on how professional they are, you may find out how they really feel about you.
Click to expand...

I like this suggestion. :ninja:

Plus, if you're careful the band will never know it's you.
 

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