tl;dr version -
i'm an older female bass player who doesn't mind being called a female bass player. it's not ideal, but i can live with it. there are far worse things to be called.
long version -
to those who feel that female musicians are now a normal thing, the last time i went to hollywood guitar center was during december 2018. i was the only woman in a room packed with guitar and bass players - it was really busy, but 100% of the players who weren't me were guys. there could have been women in other rooms, but i didn't go to the other rooms. i just asked my husband if he remembered, and he said "yeah, it was definitely the dude zone".
i'm 61 and female, and i was playing guitar in bands from the time i was about 14. i noticed back then that girls took piano or violin lessons or they sang, but it was boys who wanted to rock. and, probably thanks to joan baez, a few girls played acoustic guitar, but it was mostly guys.
for years, when i went to guitar center 90% or more of the women there were mothers, wives or girlfriends there to support their male guitar or bass player or to stand around looking vague or bored. it wasn't until into the '90s that i started to see a significant number of women who were there for themselves, mostly in acoustic guitars and keyboards, but a small but growing number in guitars and basses.
in 1998 when i had an ad out for bass player available, i got over 80 replies. one of those replies was a band with a woman in it; all the rest were bands composed only of men, and this was a variety of genres. most of the guys were suprised i was a woman, but on the other hand, while a few felt a little reticent about my gender, i auditioned or jammed with about half the people who responded, and of them all, only one forming band had a problem with my being female.
as to why women dress sexy when they appear in bands or youtube videos, it's not just click bait, although if you're a woman who wants the most views, showing a little cleavage doesn't hurt. show business means putting on a show, dressing for success. when hillary clinton was running for office, SO many people who never comment on a male politician's attire talked about her pant suits, and it was mostly either negative or condescending. people said it wasn't feminine. why should someone running for president be feminine at all? but i notice that even powerful women usually wear dresses. women at formal parties are expected to wear dresses, and women under 40 are expected to wear low cut dresses. go to a formal wear stores - that's what you'll see. i used to wear a tux, and people acted like i was a novelty.
since i'm rambling on, men wear a "uniform" for playing certain kinds of music. it makes sense. if you see an upscale jazz band, particularly with a torch singer, the guys wear dressy pants, vests, nice hats and so on; the women wear dresses. and often sexy dresses and high heels, not just to be sexy - it's what the audience expects to see, and culturally, it's what we expect. women in metal from the '80s and '90s always wore scanty, tight clothes while men often wore t-shirts and black jeans.
when i started playing bass in early 1994, i made a conscious decision to dress in "tough" male clothes from my workboots and cargo shorts (yes, cargo shorts) or pants to my non-fitting shirts, always with sleeves. no makeup. no hair styling. and you know what? men actually used different tones of voice when i dressed female vs dressing to play bass. almost all men, not just musicians. gas station attendants, sales reps, you name it. they used different posture, different facial expressions.
to those here who think that gender isn't something that changes people's behavior and perspective nowadays, i know a woman with a busy non-music youtube channel, and she often gets comments about her appearance, that she's sexy (and she NEVER dresses sexy) or not sexy all the time. a male reviewer in the same genre has never received but two comments on his appearance, and he's been youtubing for six years with tons of subscribers.
btw, i think people point out gender for professions that aren't commonly associated with a particular gender. i always hear/read people who say "male nurse", for example, and twenty years ago if there were two people in a hospital room and one was a doctor, you always saw people address the male as doctor, even though that was often not the case.
i have no problem with people referring to me as a female bass player. it's what i am. it doesn't make me angry or sad. there are men who say it demeaningly, but you know what? i refuse to take it that way. and whenever someone mentions a band with a female bass player, hey - at least it lets us know there are women out there who play bass. and to me, that's a good thing. there are definitely worse things to be called.
