How many years has this taken to arrive? The negligence!!! Speaking of legal terminology and other tangential matters... This is not about legal tort (lowercase). Also, this is not about dessert tortes so please don't discuss your lower-cased things here- go to the "off-topic" forum.
Come here on Tuesdays and add some Tort! Or just view some Tort if you need a quick pick-me-up. Science has shown that the Tort has inexplicable, yet semi-documented, healing effects and mood-enhancing properties.
Yes, Tort is to be capitalized. Tort is a proper noun in my world. Sometimes I even call his holiness "the Tort." Some have argued through the ages that one shouldn't use Tort's name in vain but screw them and their rules. TORT is an egomaniac from what I've seen, HE should be an egomaniac due to all that HE has given us. HE likes when we use HIS name. Yes, TORT definitely is a HE. TORT makes sense. Whoops, those two little sentences are unrelated to each other and they are not suggesting that a "She" can't make sense. Your experience may vary, though.
But back to content:
Do you have a Tort picture that you'd like to share? Picks, cats, clothes, cars, campers....Post it here.
Do you have a testimonial of Tort's supernatural powers? Post it here.
Do you have an interesting household use for Tort? (Tort picks are the best for scraping dried cat vomit out of carpet fibers or blood from your jeans! Billy Mays can shove his Oxy-clean right up his dead, cocaine nose).
Do you have a funny, scary, borderline stupid, or even sexy, story about TORT? Yes, sexy. TORT is like catnip to women in the crowd. Go ahead, I dare you to talk to one about TORT after a gig. Have your video app ready to roll!
Has somebody in another thread asked yet another questionable/overdone/unresearched question and you just want to scream "TORT" or "carrots?" Come here and scream "TORT." No explanation needed, we'll understand. This is judgment-free zone. Unless you bring up legal tort or dessert tortes.
DO NOT say flippin "carrots" here. When you invent an alliterative day for carrots then you can do as you wish in your own alliteratively-titled thread but this is TORT world. This thread is for people who love TORT, and it is for normal people who are sick of those people. Sick of them in a non-judgy way, of course.
Tort-lovers and Tort-haters are equally welcome here. People who wish to discuss Torts on a P, however, will be summarily ejected from the thread as that would be a "Bass" topic, and an overdone one at that.
If this thread goes over well then our legal team here at Tort Tuesday will petition the TalkBass peoples to let Tort have it's own, independent forum. Tort is not a bass, Tort is not an amp, Tort is not an effect, Tort is not a technique (unless used in seducing women, of course), Tort is certainly not a friggin "Miscellaneous." TORT is it's own entity in the bass world and, therefore, TORT should have it's own forum; let's wait and see.
I'll start the show with pics of my tortie cats and then a collection of my basses (so you will clearly see exactly how much I LOVES ME SOME TORT on a bass!).
Puddy: 1988-2003 (She was a pound cat).
Kitty: 2003-7/2017 (Found her outside 6 months after Puddy died).
Tort is like "Short-scale dogs are too clacky and not enough "oomph." Go away, you bore me."
Bass with Tort. Nearby.
In case any doubt remains, I LOVE Tort on a bass! If you look very closely you can see that the bass on the far left has a Tort pickguard so I can have some credibility to non-bass musicians who look for two things, Fender and Tort. That Tort with a Fender Jazz Bass attached never leaves the house because the mojo is just too strong and I wouldn't do that to the ladies or bandmates. It has been banned from church, in fact. If I want to play a Jazz, I have to bring my Squier (in the corner, so embarrassed by it even though nobody who is not on TB can tell the difference other than it's black pickguard looks better and the bass actually might sound a little better).
Come here on Tuesdays and add some Tort! Or just view some Tort if you need a quick pick-me-up. Science has shown that the Tort has inexplicable, yet semi-documented, healing effects and mood-enhancing properties.
Yes, Tort is to be capitalized. Tort is a proper noun in my world. Sometimes I even call his holiness "the Tort." Some have argued through the ages that one shouldn't use Tort's name in vain but screw them and their rules. TORT is an egomaniac from what I've seen, HE should be an egomaniac due to all that HE has given us. HE likes when we use HIS name. Yes, TORT definitely is a HE. TORT makes sense. Whoops, those two little sentences are unrelated to each other and they are not suggesting that a "She" can't make sense. Your experience may vary, though.
But back to content:
Do you have a Tort picture that you'd like to share? Picks, cats, clothes, cars, campers....Post it here.
Do you have a testimonial of Tort's supernatural powers? Post it here.
Do you have an interesting household use for Tort? (Tort picks are the best for scraping dried cat vomit out of carpet fibers or blood from your jeans! Billy Mays can shove his Oxy-clean right up his dead, cocaine nose).
Do you have a funny, scary, borderline stupid, or even sexy, story about TORT? Yes, sexy. TORT is like catnip to women in the crowd. Go ahead, I dare you to talk to one about TORT after a gig. Have your video app ready to roll!
Has somebody in another thread asked yet another questionable/overdone/unresearched question and you just want to scream "TORT" or "carrots?" Come here and scream "TORT." No explanation needed, we'll understand. This is judgment-free zone. Unless you bring up legal tort or dessert tortes.
DO NOT say flippin "carrots" here. When you invent an alliterative day for carrots then you can do as you wish in your own alliteratively-titled thread but this is TORT world. This thread is for people who love TORT, and it is for normal people who are sick of those people. Sick of them in a non-judgy way, of course.
Tort-lovers and Tort-haters are equally welcome here. People who wish to discuss Torts on a P, however, will be summarily ejected from the thread as that would be a "Bass" topic, and an overdone one at that.
If this thread goes over well then our legal team here at Tort Tuesday will petition the TalkBass peoples to let Tort have it's own, independent forum. Tort is not a bass, Tort is not an amp, Tort is not an effect, Tort is not a technique (unless used in seducing women, of course), Tort is certainly not a friggin "Miscellaneous." TORT is it's own entity in the bass world and, therefore, TORT should have it's own forum; let's wait and see.
I'll start the show with pics of my tortie cats and then a collection of my basses (so you will clearly see exactly how much I LOVES ME SOME TORT on a bass!).
Puddy: 1988-2003 (She was a pound cat).
Kitty: 2003-7/2017 (Found her outside 6 months after Puddy died).
Tort is like "Short-scale dogs are too clacky and not enough "oomph." Go away, you bore me."
In case any doubt remains, I LOVE Tort on a bass! If you look very closely you can see that the bass on the far left has a Tort pickguard so I can have some credibility to non-bass musicians who look for two things, Fender and Tort. That Tort with a Fender Jazz Bass attached never leaves the house because the mojo is just too strong and I wouldn't do that to the ladies or bandmates. It has been banned from church, in fact. If I want to play a Jazz, I have to bring my Squier (in the corner, so embarrassed by it even though nobody who is not on TB can tell the difference other than it's black pickguard looks better and the bass actually might sound a little better).
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