Fired from band by text....

[40Hz]

I don’t get it. If texting is fine enough for the drummer to cancel practice over and over and for us to talk about the next time we are going to meet and it’s hard enough to even get four people in a room together, and texting is fine enough for the drummer to explain very poorly why he didn’t bother to tell the rest of the band about a show he had agreed to and couldn’t do until we found out from elsewhere that he’d be out of town, then why can I use texting to tell him we are going to look for another drummer?

If anything, it’s far more traumatic for a face to face firing, for people to drive 25 minutes to meet in one place, to be told oh, you’re done.

For what it’s worth, since we fired the drummer by text, we easily replaced the drummer, we’ve gotten better shows than ever, our reputation has improved greatly around town, we’ve even won an award, and honestly, if the drummer was honest with himself, he would see that his life is better, too, because his heart was no longer in the band anyway and we freed him to do his own thing and his new band is doing fine.

I think you’re so far into a self-justification for refusing to deal with another person in person that your post an inadvertent example of the deeper societal problem under discussion.

If you need to fire the drummer, then fire the drummer. It doesn't matter what they’re doing if it adversely affects the rest if the band. Especially if it’s happening on an ongoing basis. But have the decency to do it by voice.

However, if you can’t form a clear mental distinction between the significance of a text from someone canceling their appearance at a rehearsal, and a text terminating a band member, you’re either being disingenuous or you need to work on your interpersonal skills.

There’s also no need to drive somewhere. A simple phone call provides a lot more “bandwidth” for human communication than text, and goes a long way towards avoiding any misunderstanding of what’s being said.

It would be good if, along with your drummer, we took your suggestion and try to all be a little more honest with ourselves about what we’re doing.

Just sayin’

 

[basspla915]

Perfectly said! This is about professionalism and respect. If you have neither, you are hurting...Telling someone, either in person or by phone, allows them two opportunities....1) to question why the change was necessary and 2) a learning moment. If the issue was style, ability, groove, etc. this feedback "may" help you to be a better player.....

 

[Mediocrity Man]

Our singer quit by email. I thought that was kind of poopy especially since we had gigs coming up. For whatever reasons, a simple phone call and notice would have been more considerate.

 

[levis76]

You definitely didn’t need to put any more effort into that band than you already had. On the plus side, you worked on a few songs you might not have otherwise and can add them and any associated skills to your arsenal. Cult of Personality is no song for slouches.

Been fired from a couple bands, some were face to face, others over the phone, but never by text. I do have a guitarist buddy that was fired via Facebook. That was pretty awesome. Like a dozen people knew before he did and texted him condolences and he had no idea why. That was actually pretty funny.

 

[40Hz]

Our singer quit by email. I thought that was kind of poopy especially since we had gigs coming up. For whatever reasons, a simple phone call and notice would have been more considerate.

You got it.

Some texts are no different than someone who (after going out and getting drunk with friends) brings his passed out girlfriend home at 3:00AM, dumps her on her parent’s front porch, rings the bell until the house lights go on, and then takes off.

I call that “taking cowardly responsibility.”

 

[basspla915]

I think you’re so far into a self-justification for refusing to deal with another person in person that your post an inadvertent example of the deeper societal problem under discussion.

If you need to fire the drummer, then fire the drummer. It doesn't matter what they’re doing if it adversely affects the rest if the band. Especially if it’s happening on an ongoing basis. But have the decency to do it by voice.

However, if you can’t form a clear mental distinction between the significance of a text from someone canceling their appearance at a rehearsal, and a text terminating a band member, you’re either being disingenuous or you need to work on your interpersonal skills.

There’s also no need to drive somewhere. A simple phone call provides a lot more “bandwidth” for human communication than text, and goes a long way towards avoiding any misunderstanding of what’s being said.

It would be good if, along with your drummer, we took your suggestion and try to all be a little more honest with ourselves about what we’re doing.

Just sayin’

The other issue here is a common thread among some here that if the other band member did something wrong by texting us about missing practice, gigs, etc....Then, it is ok for us to do the same thing! SMH

 

[40Hz]

The other issue here is a common thread among some here that if the other band member did something wrong by texting us about missing practice, gigs, etc....Then, it is ok for us to do the same thing! SMH

Yep. If smitten on the left cheek, bash him in the head with a baseball bat a couple of times in return.

I somehow get the feeling that wasn’t how that old admonition originally went.

 

[beans-on-toast]

They gave you the news in writing in a gutless manner.

It says a lot about what sort of people they are. Don’t let what they are get to you. It was a blessing. You are better off in your new band.

 

[oldrocker]

Our singer quit by email. I thought that was kind of poopy especially since we had gigs coming up. For whatever reasons, a simple phone call and notice would have been more considerate.

Why would a phone call have been more considerate? Would the singer have had to make a separate phone call to every member of the band.

In your case the real issue is that the singer quit with gigs on the books, not the method he used to inform you he quit.

 

[dustybass]

Good for you Bruddah. You're better off.

 

[dustybass]

I've been in a similar situation like this twice myself. My response was somewhere along the lines of "Wow, what a relief. I was unsure how to tell you I found a better gig. Thanks for making my departure so easy. Good luck." Both times these so called bands I was let go from imploded shortly after. One fell apart in less than three months the other in less than a month. One never even made it past the rehearsal room.

And of course me being the type to to have a little fun, I would always send out invites for them to come see my new band play a gig. The best payback for being treated poorly is to do well. Enjoy your new project.

Absolutely....salt in the wound.

 

[dustybass]

I guess I've been playing that intro wrong........ G-F-D-G-E G-F-D-G-E G-F-D-G-E G-F-D-G-E-E

 

[JRA]

at least it wasn't a tweet.

fired is fired...at some point it doesn't make any difference how it's done. (IMO)

 

[dan1952]

It seems to me that you think you were fired for not nailing 1 song. There’s way more than that... just saying.

^^^^^^^ This, exactly.

 

[dustybass]

Saw Tina with the Ike-ettes at Carthage college.... wow, talk about energy...(talk about legs)

 

[DavC]

sounds better than divorce by phone message .. ?!

 

[Mediocrity Man]

Why would a phone call have been more considerate? Would the singer have had to make a separate phone call to every member of the band.

In your case the real issue is that the singer quit with gigs on the books, not the method he used to inform you he quit.

I think it's easier to have a discussion via phone than email or text. How many times did someone's text or email come off different than the way it was supposed to?

But yea, in the end he screwed us for no other reason than not being happy with the bands direction.

 

[honeyiscool]

I think you’re so far into a self-justification for refusing to deal with another person in person that your post an inadvertent example of the deeper societal problem under discussion.

If you need to fire the drummer, then fire the drummer. It doesn't matter what they’re doing if it adversely affects the rest if the band. Especially if it’s happening on an ongoing basis. But have the decency to do it by voice.

However, if you can’t form a clear mental distinction between the significance of a text from someone canceling their appearance at a rehearsal, and a text terminating a band member, you’re either being disingenuous or you need to work on your interpersonal skills.

There’s also no need to drive somewhere. A simple phone call provides a lot more “bandwidth” for human communication than text, and goes a long way towards avoiding any misunderstanding of what’s being said.

It would be good if, along with your drummer, we took your suggestion and try to all be a little more honest with ourselves about what we’re doing.

Just sayin’

See. Nothing in that post made any sense to me. Everything happens via text now. It’s not true that phone calls give you more bandwidth. It just gives you room to mess up. Often if you talk long enough via phone, people end up saying things they don’t need to say. Over text, you just say what needs to be said. Done. Move on. Also, there is phone anxiety and all that. Not so much over text.

Communication is communication. It doesn’t actually remember how you deliver it. People have a problem with the message. At the rate people text these days, it’s basically real time anyway. And we aren’t necessarily worse for it and our society isn’t going to the dumps because of it.

When people get fired and they don’t like it, they’ll have a problem with whatever method. I had to drive 30 min to get fired in person? You fired me over phone instead of in person? You fired me over text instead of a phone call? Etc.

It’s a generational gap, I assure you. No interpersonal skills need working on.

When people split on good terms, then it doesn’t matter the medium either. I quit a band over text a few years back, I just remembered. I carefully explained my reasoning when she asked me if I can make practice and she accepted it. She and I are still good friends and we go to each other’s shows.

 

[Plutonium244]

Firing by text: lame.

My 2 cents: text is for short information transmissions: "practice at 6pm Monday at Todd's house" "Do you have recording of song X for me to work from?" "Sorry, will be ten minutes late, traffic", "Everyone have July 14th open? Offered a gig at Club Calypso", "meet at the back door for load in".

It is NOT for stuff like "let's brainstorm on our overall goals for this project" or "Sorry, you're fired, have a great weekend!"

I would never break up with a girlfriend by text, nor lay off an employee, nor fire a band member that way.

But the reasons for being let go might actually be innocuous.... guitar player who switched to bass may have realized guitar was not his forte, and so wanted his old bass chair back which, since you hadn't gigged yet, isn't an outrageous thing to decide as the band is in its early formative stages.. Also, by having the guitarist switch back to bass might mean one fewer players to pay, which can be important too.

But, as often happens, what seems like a negative at first has proved to be a blessing.... you're in a better, more competent/professional band that will actually do something. Win-win, but mainly, win for you.

 

[honeyiscool]

I think it's easier to have a discussion via phone than email or text. How many times did someone's text or email come off different than the way it was supposed to?

But yea, in the end he screwed us for no other reason than not being happy with the bands direction.

I think it’s way easier to express myself through written words than spoken words. I am a good writer but a mediocre speaker. I’ve rarely had my words misinterpreted when written because I write precisely but because I can’t speak equally precisely, it’s more likely for my spoken words to be misinterpreted.

And I’m a second language speaker at that. I get tongue tied on the phone sometimes. People communicate at different skill levels.

I think ultimately people’s unsatisfaction comes from the people involved and the dynamics of the relationships and whether the split was mutually beneficial. People blame the method of communication but ultimately it wouldn’t have mattered.