1) Lack of organization. I'm trying to keep our repertoire in a Google Drive spreadsheet so that we know who's playing what, who's singing, whether we know the song, etc. and I'm basically the only one looking at it let alone maintaining it. The canonical set list for our gig tomorrow still hasn't been entirely worked out. I'm writing up a quick 'n dirty load-out list and nobody's looked at that either.
I wouldn't really expect anyone to actively look at it, but giving at least some input on a set list would be helpful. Just make sure you print out enough copies for everyone before the gig. It doesn't sound like they will.
I wouldn't bother with a load out list. Each person should know exactly what they need for the gig and should be responsible for packing it. If you need/want a list for your own stuff go for it. But it seems a little grade school to me to give out a list to everyone.
3) Lack of reinforcement of learned material/individual practice. I'm as guilty as anybody of this, but I've committed to memorizing lyrics to all of the songs that I'm singing vocals on as well as the music itself to every song, yet there's still a binder full of [very poorly formatted] charts and lyrics on a music stand at each and every practice. I'm usually reminding people of how songs lead in or start or how particular passages go. As our first gig has drawn nearer I've definitely tightened up and nailed down everything that I need to know, and I don't think the same is happening with the other members. It's fair to say that I do have less net material to remember since I'm only singing lead on a few songs, but still.
Learning material on your own time is paramount. Learning songs at the practice is a waste of everyone's time that actually put in the effort to be prepared. Unfortunately, it sounds like you're the only one that did that.
Don't worry about charts and stuff. It's better to know what happens next than "wing it" into a train wreck.If that means charts are needed, so be it. Others will strongly disagree.