• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Getting Kids interested in music

getBAK

getBAK

Supporting Member
Sep 21, 2006
2,124
3,939
San Jose, CA
www.levijack.com
#1
Guys - I'm sad.
My daughter is 9, going on 10 - and nothing I can do seems to get her interested in music outside of jumping around the house and singing out of tune.
I've tried to teach her a little bass. guitar, uke, piano.
She's not interested in anything she has to work at for more than 60 seconds.

By this age, I was already playing elementary school recitals.
I don't expect her to be a prodigy. But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.

I don't know what to do :(

Maybe it's just all people screaming at the camera on youtube or TikTok from here on out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 21DaHoagie12, Ggaa, Cloudspine and 5 others
#2
I've tried to get our now 13 year old into it as well, but nothing ever sticks. Even focusing on the music she likes to listen to. She's been doing competitive dance for years though and seems to have a good sense rhythm. Had her play on the drums for a bit too and she seems natural there, but not interested. Maybe one day. One of my biggest regrets is not sticking with learning music in my youth.
 
  • Like
Reactions: CallMeAl
#3
Is there music at school? (Do schools still do that?) I didn’t start band until 6th grade/ 11 yo…

Maybe she doesn't want to hear it from dad? Around me there’s several “school of rock” joints. But of course, there has to be some spark of interest…

Maybe just play up the modern music angle? get a synth and start messing with loops on GarageBand. Maybe it’ll catch her attention…

There’s something called “the 100 languages of children” (from the Reggio Emilia philosophy.) Basically, kids can express themselves 100 different ways. As much as I’d like to see every kid pick up an instrument or sing, even as just a hobby, I think some kids just don’t have musical expression in their set of languages.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GregC, MonetBass, mrperkolator and 3 others
#5
If they're not interested, then they're not interested. It's not the end of the world, especially if they have other worthy pursuits.

If you have music on around the house, you're doing enough. I raised 2 sons with music on all the time (I was a Mr. Mom). One (now 23) didn't stick with any instrument and is now living his best life as a recent college grad working outdoors in the Rockies. Enjoys listening to music well enough. The other (21) went all-in on music and did 3 semesters at music college, which turned out to be toxic and damaging. He's resetting, but still makes music and is a devoted crate-digger — he wears me out at record stores!

They still from time to time mention music that we listened to when they were kids. Younger has more than once thanked me for introducing him to one or another artist that led him down a rabbit hole of music discovery. The kid's an omnivore.

getBAK said:
But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.
Click to expand...
With respect to you, that's for her to come to realize (or realize that it doesn't matter so much to her). Let go, brotherman.

sporadic29414 said:
Maybe one day.
Click to expand...
Or not. If they can simply enjoy music for the pleasure of listening, then you've given them a gift to last a lifetime.

sporadic29414 said:
One of my biggest regrets is not sticking with learning music in my youth.
Click to expand...
Me too, but that was my life, not my kids'.

Gents, give 'em roots to grow and wings to fly and watch 'em surprise and delight you. Like the song sez: "They'll learn much more than I'll ever know."

All the best to you. Your kids are blessed with terrific, caring parents.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: DiabolicLow B, NCBaker, Waltsdog and 30 others
#6
Don't try to push your kids into what YOU like. Let them find their own ways, and support the @#&_@ out of them if it is something positive. Down the road they will appreciate it, work harder at what they choose, and don't worry, you will find things in common.

Yeah, I've been there ...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Waltsdog, GregC, salmon256 and 10 others
#7
We always had music of some kind playing and as soon as my kids were able to comprehend we made a promise. You can listen to absolutely anything you want. Don’t care if I like it. Don’t care if it’s got course language. All that matters is you like it. You can even pick in the car.
My daughter still plays violin and went to states in Texas as soloist. And she’s got a swinging music collection.
Same with my son but he never played anything, but he has an encyclopedic knowledge of rap.
He’s a d1 commit and wants to work in fashion after school.
Every kid is different and your kid might not like what you like. They will find what they like. And the best thing you can do is let them try things and when something sticks let it be their thing.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: GregC, Riff Ranger, Deleted member 365158 and 2 others
#8
Some kids like music when they get to experience it with other kids. My mom took me and my brother to see a kids music recital, and then asked if we were interested in something like that. Don't assume your kids will care about your favorite genres. Both of my kids play classical music, and have a blast at it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GregC, Killing Floor, mrperkolator and 2 others
#10
A friend was always trying to get his kids into what he was into and got very frustrated they didn't turn out to be little clones.

Show your kids what you're interested in. Help them develop their own interests. If music is one of them, great. If not, encourage them to find what they are passionate about and do what brings them joy. IMO, that's the job.
 
  • Like
Reactions: StevieMac, DRBP, wildman2 and 9 others
#12
Meet her where SHE is. You want her to learn uke, guitar, or bass? Try teaching her a song by Olvia Rodrigo, Sean Mendez, Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift (pop, not country), Jonas Brothers, something from the movie Encanto, etc.

My daughters are 10 and 12. They would have exactly ZERO interest in learning any of "my" music. I'm not going to try to push them in that direction.

But she might just have other passions. Mine are mainly into volleyball WAY more than music. And the younger one does martial arts as well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fdeck, Killing Floor, Riff Ranger and 3 others
#13
First, your child is not you, so the fact that you were playing recitals at age 9 isn't even relevant.

Second, 9 years old seems a little young to me for a kid to get passionate about anything. Does it happen? Sure, but that's the exception and not the rule. Lots of the giants of music that we can think of didn't pick up their instruments until they were mid-teenagers.

Just keep modeling your joy in music--playing and listening. You have no idea how that might take root in the future.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sotua, lfmn16, Killing Floor and 1 other person
#14
Instead of teaching, just let them listen. They'll decide if they want to play, just like you did when you were young.

When my two daughters were little I took them to folk coffeehouses, blues clubs (the owner of one would give them free pizza!), festivals, etc. Part of this was selfish...I wanted to go anyway and it was easier to bring them than get a sitter. When they were older and asked about going to concerts of acts they liked, I'd get tickets and take them. The result was they were exposed to a lot of music at an age when they had not yet developed any bias for particular genres. They experienced jazz, blues, bluegrass, cajun/zydeco, folk, rock and country in live performance as well as all the stuff I played on the stereo at home. Now adults, my eldest likes metal and modern country while my youngest is a huge Beyonce fan and into contemporary black music in general.

Both later took up instruments for a while, likely because they saw me playing and had met a lot of the players I worked with, a number of whom were women. At one festival they were making the rounds getting autographs and met a blues singer named Candye Kane (RIP). She signed their books "Be a singer when you grow up, it's fun!".

My eldest played violin then guitar, but wasn't really interested enough to keep going with either. I knew a local woman who led a metal band...all piercings and tatoos...and got her as a guitar teacher because she would be a good role model. She really liked her teacher but wasn't motivated to put in the time.

My youngest wanted to play bass, but started on cello because she was too short to play bass for a few years. I bought a book of "easy" duets for cello and bass and discovered she could just sightread it at tempo as I stumbled along, clam by clam. For middle school I located a 1/4 Kay and had her study with a bassist I knew from church who was the music director at a nearby high school. I also bought her a short scales bass (a Kramer Duke, because it was headless like Dad's Steinberger) and ran her through Mel Bay book 1 myself. She placed in the Massachusetts All-State orchestra playing classical and was in the stage band in middle school and high school. I brought her to blues jams to play with adults and invited her friends from the stage band along. She started to lose interest during high school, though, and hasn't played since. I still have her bass guitar (it's purple!!!) in the closet and told her if she ever gets the itch again, it's there and she can have one of my amps.

I do feel now that I could have pushed both of them a little harder, especially my eldest. We all know that period as a total beginner where it seems like we will never be able to play but we get over that intial hump with a song or two under our belts and are motivated to keep going. She never got over the hump. My youngest I think got disenchanted because the high school band director was an a******. Too bad she couldn't find some other kids and started a rock band. Well, water under the bridge.

The good news though is both are still avid listeners.
 
#16
getBAK said:
Guys - I'm sad.
My daughter is 9, going on 10 - and nothing I can do seems to get her interested in music outside of jumping around the house and singing out of tune.
I've tried to teach her a little bass. guitar, uke, piano.
She's not interested in anything she has to work at for more than 60 seconds.

By this age, I was already playing elementary school recitals.
I don't expect her to be a prodigy. But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.

I don't know what to do :(

Maybe it's just all people screaming at the camera on youtube or TikTok from here on out.
Click to expand...
She's 10. I don't think I first became interested in playing an instrument until maybe 12...and I didn't get interested in good music until I was 15 or so. Give her time, let her find her own interests. All you can do is encourage her...you can't get her to want to do something she doesn't want to do.
 
#17
CallMeAl said:
Is there music at school? (Do schools still do that?) I didn’t start band until 6th grade/ 11 yo…
Click to expand...

What's sad is it largely depends on the socio-economic status of the school a kid attends. Some schools offer damn near everything a child could want form an academic setting/learning environment. Others cover what is needed for standardized testing...and do a poor job at even that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wildman2, MisterUbu, dalkowski and 1 other person

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back