Getting Kids interested in music

[JW56789]

I utterly believe children will lead you to what they want to do, and no amount of what mom and dad wish or would like them to do will get anywhere with them, for any number of reasons. And until they lead you to that, let them be children.

All I ever had to do was look at all the non-jocks that got pushed into band / marching band, acted like they were going to a teeth-cleaning every day, and the minute they graduated high school couldn't throw that sax or trombone far enough away from them, NEVER to touch one the rest of their lives.

Don't be those parents.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

Guys - I'm sad.
My daughter is 9, going on 10 - and nothing I can do seems to get her interested in music outside of jumping around the house and singing out of tune.
I've tried to teach her a little bass. guitar, uke, piano.
She's not interested in anything she has to work at for more than 60 seconds.

By this age, I was already playing elementary school recitals.
I don't expect her to be a prodigy. But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.

I don't know what to do

Maybe it's just all people screaming at the camera on youtube or TikTok from here on out.

Kids will float to their own level. I never forced either of my two to be interested in music. That said, they were both exposed to it from a very early age. Gigs, rehearsals, recording sessions, and me singing them to sleep (or keeping them up in terror depending on how many notes were out of me vocal range). Both have very good musical aptitude and really good musical ears.

One became more interested in sports, enlisted in the Marines and just retired as a logistical security expert, the other has made a career in the Marines Fleet band, as a bassist, and now promoted to ensemble director.

 

[lermgalieu]

I was pushed into piano lessons at an early age. I don't think it necessarily helps. Here's what I did with my son: NOTHING. I made sure to have instruments around the house, I made sure to play them a lot and made sure he knew he could to - if he wanted. Kid is now 16 and plays guitar better than I could ever hope to. My advice is do not push it. They will do it or they won't. If you make them, they will resent you. Just make sure you support them every step of the way. Took the same approach with my daughter and nada. They're all different....

 

[sotua]

Guys - I'm sad.
My daughter is 9, going on 10 - and nothing I can do seems to get her interested in music outside of jumping around the house and singing out of tune.
I've tried to teach her a little bass. guitar, uke, piano.
She's not interested in anything she has to work at for more than 60 seconds.

By this age, I was already playing elementary school recitals.
I don't expect her to be a prodigy. But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.

I don't know what to do

Maybe it's just all people screaming at the camera on youtube or TikTok from here on out.

Don't push her. It's very easy to get kids reject it that way. Let her get interested on her own - if she wants to. Of all my siblings, the only one that isn't doing music on their own these days (as hobby, not career - none of us became musicians) is the one that had actualy piano lessons at 8-10 or so.

I didn't pick up bass/guitar until I was 15-16 or so.

 

[Discount Bassy]

I grew up playing saxophone and performed in All State band and orchestra. I did a good bit of performance young. I took music theory and classical guitar in college. I quit music when my daughter was born and didn't head back to my roots for 13 years when I realized she had not inherent interest in making music, probably because she didn't grow up with it around the house. You are doing the right thing by presenting the opportunity and playing, but you can't force it. She'll bite or not. Maybe she'll bite later. Now, my daughter is grown and works as a nurse. She never did pursue music, but she is a very gifted graphic artist in her own right as a hobby, the sort that can do photo-realistic reproductions in pencil. For my part, I can ham-fistedly eke out a poorly drawn chicken on command. The fact that you are worried is probably a good thing, just put that into helping her find an artistic outlet of some sort and don't be too specific about it. In the end, it is her journey.

 

[Killing Floor]

So far a neat theme here is modeling instead of pushing. It’s your kid’s “1 job” to not be exactly like their parents.
But you can lead by example.

For instance, they may never care about bass guitar but you can play and enjoy music and they’re sure to at least absorb your love of music. Maybe they pick up drums (Haha) after school.

I was an OK student but my wife is 3 weeks away from submitting her dissertation for a PhD. She did it all as a mom. And I guarantee our kids picked up on that. It’s not important that they play an instrument, it’s important that we prepare them to be the best adult version of themselves.

 

[bigjames]

I will start by saying that I acknowledge I am biased...I am talking about my kids after all, but at the same time I am a 30 year multi-instrumentalist and trained vocalist...so, I know when something sounds bad and I give my kids constructive criticism so as not to create people who think everything they do is gold. LOL.

I have two daughters, 3 years a part. They were both always singing (quite well for kids) and both got into piano and bass. The older daughter played my Sadowsky at her elementary school graduation ceremony, but they she lost interest shortly after.

The younger was a different story. She has effectively taught herself (with occasional input from me) guitar, bass, piano, and ukulele and is a very gifted vocalist. Now 18, she has recorded countless covers and written many really good originals. She has been known to practice 2+ hours a day when working on a new song or technique...absolutely relentless perseverance that is far beyond any dedication I have ever had. I will see if I can link one of her originals here. Acoustic guitar and vocals recorded into iPhone when she was 16 I think.



The point being, I think there are people who may never get into music. It may just not be their thing. Not sure forcing it on them will work...with my youngest, I think formal lessons would have discouraged her...giving her the tools (instruments) and resources (internet) is all she needed.

 

[Dave Leighton]

I was surrounded by music in various forms growing up. Started in band at 10. Started bass at 14. It was very organic for me.

My kids were surrounded by music in various forms. They all started playing various instruments in their early teens, by their own volition.

Same story with my grandkids. For me it has to be their deal...

 

[BarfanyShart]

The kids are who they are, and if they aren't interested they aren't interested - this is true. I have four elementary-aged boys, and its tough to strike the balance of making them participate in activities so that they get exposure to things they may grow an interest in, and letting them cultivate their own interests. I have tried to set the expectation with my kids (slightly derailed by COVID) that their extracurricular obligations will include - at a minimum - a foreign language, a sport, and a musical instrument. The language is the only one of these where we have suffered outright, organized rebellion.

It has been my experience that if you can drag them kicking and screaming through a couple years of piano lessons, they hit a point where they get good enough to actually start enjoying it. It's a magical moment that is totally worth pushing them toward as a parent, but you always run the risk of pushing too hard with the kids, so, you know, it's a balancing act.

 

[groooooove]

Guys - I'm sad.
My daughter is 9, going on 10 - and nothing I can do seems to get her interested in music outside of jumping around the house and singing out of tune.
I've tried to teach her a little bass. guitar, uke, piano.
She's not interested in anything she has to work at for more than 60 seconds.

By this age, I was already playing elementary school recitals.
I don't expect her to be a prodigy. But I know that there's certain musical literacy if you don't pick it up at a young age is very hard to replicate later.

I don't know what to do

Maybe it's just all people screaming at the camera on youtube or TikTok from here on out.

my grandfather was an organist and professional violinist in his day. he "encouraged" my mother to take piano lesson from age 6 until she moved out at 20.

at 20, she stopped and never played again because it was her fathers "encouragement" that made these lessons happen.

myself and my oldest brother are both professional musicians. my mom never did even the slightest "encouragement," but when we showed interest she was willing to support.

point is: mom did not adventure into music on her own. she was forced and got nothing out of it, for many years. End result: we can't even bring it up. she hates the piano, thats that.

my brother and I were the opposite: there was no force on this earth that was going to stop me from being a musician. as a kid, it was like i was addicted, in the clinical sense of the word, to the instrument. I just had to do it. a lot. I loved it. I was fascinated by it. Same with my brother.

it feels like a healthy thing to encourage, i get it. but at the end of the day, as enriching as it can be... it's still a hobby fundamentally.

imagine being forced to try a hobby you are not naturally interested in? it's like your going against gravity. just leads nowhere.

I teach kid music for a living. Violin/viola/cello/bass lessons. I take it super seriously, and have a really strong program. I put in serious effort to motivating the kids who are just there like it's any other part of their school day. I've definitely gotten more out of a few of them than I initially saw, but honestly the ones that have that "i am simply not interested" energy, you can only go so far. pushing through the discomforts associated with learning an instrument is only reasonable when the end result is what *they want.*

long winded way of saying: you can't force interest. you can expose and encourage, but that natural inclination needs to be there for anything to get off the ground.

 

[Bullitt5135]

I took my daughter to see the Beatles/Cirque du Soleil "Love" show when she was 9. She instantly became a Beatles fanatic and begged us for the Beatles Rock Band game for Christmas. She was drawn to the drums and became really good at it really fast. Like expert level good in a few months. That led to wanting to take up drums & percussion at school. We held off on buying a drum kit for a while until she proved that she would stick with it. She stuck with it – school percussion & private lessons, drum kit lessons, and rock band school. This year she is graduating from college after playing tenors (quints) for four years on a Big 10 drumline. She has become one hell of a good drummer, and can sit in with my cover band at the drop of a hat – and more than hold her own. This summer, she is taking up steel drums and joining a gigging ensemble. She's also looking for opportunities to play in pit orchestra. I hope that someday she moves back here so we can jam more – it's the absolute coolest thing about music for me and also the reason why I got back into playing bass again.

I never had to force her to play & practice, but she's never been one to play for hours on end just for the love of it. It's more like she's always done what was necessary to master what she was working on. She had a great deal of natural talent and a ridiculous ability to read music. There were times when her interest level waned, but the one thing I always told her was "if you simply do what it takes to stay on top of things and always be prepared, you'll have a lot of opportunities to do some really cool stuff." I guess she took that to heart, and I couldn't be more proud of the things she's accomplished.

Long story short, the carrot worked better than the stick.

 

[noahw1]

My kids, 10 and 15, aren't interested either. It is what it is. I don't want to push them into something that they're not into and turn them off of it forever.
I'm hoping that someday they'll come around to it.

In the meantime they see and hear their Dad playing/practicing at home and gigging.

 

[sedan_dad]

Buy different instruments and just have them lying around available for them IF they choose to pick one up.
Do not force them.

 

[getBAK]

I should have been a little clear in the post.
My daughter enjoys music hearing music, and enjoys singing. The real problem comes when she has to put in any real effort towards... well anything.
She wants to sing "We don't talk about Bruno" in the school talent show but won't do any actual rehearsal or hone the vocals. I went and learned a bunch of music she likes in an attempt to bond over it.

Any time there's effort required, she doesn't want to do it.
I guess that's a kid thing now.

I know she's not me, frankly, it's better for everyone that way.

There's a balance between guiding her into this, and having her sit bored at the end of a piano bench during lessons as so many kids did when I was young. I just haven't found it

 

[fishdreams]

I got into playing when i was 15, on my own initiative. I found that not having been taught music from an early age can be a hindrance in certain ways, but certainly has been a blessing in many other ways, and I still do get to play with people who did have that kind of education, and we get along fine.

 

[Mildew Jones]

Both my kids are involved in music- son 28 is a drummer in original thrash metal band, daughter, 25, is in the EDM industry, she was a very good singer in her youth, did all city chorus, etc, lost interest in singing (she may pick back up, can make some $ doing tracks with DJ's).
I love that they are music junkies like BOTH their parents (wife doesn't play, but music is big in her life,too)...but if they weren't as involved or at all I don't think it would really affect me, it's their world and life and choices, they are drawn to whatever they are drawn to. I probably wouldn't understand, but would accept!
But, I love that we can share music...just took my son to see Tool the first time, his mind was blown, and taking my daughter to a Deftones show in April. The family that rocks together...
MJ

 

[two fingers]

If i could do it all again, i would be like "dont you kids touch my guitars!" Then they would.

This is actually kinda smart. I think I'm going to start telling my 12 year old "No matter what, you will NOT become a musician!!!" She would do it (and do it ridiculously well) just out of spite.

 

[lbbc]

I have 5 kids....all tried music. Oldest--trumpet 2--clarinet. 2--Bass, Guitar, Drums and Keys. The 2 youngest still play at the ages of 27 and 28. I have 9 grandkids....2 oldest--played drums, 2 middle--violin, trumpet and ukulele, next 2--ukulele. The youngest 3 are too young to play...but probably will someday. I just want them all exposed. If they don't stick with it, at least they had the experience. All kids and grandkids sing!

 

[deesonic]

My 12 year old son just started guitar lessons and he's interested in the guitar itself but not so much in music in general. It's kinda strange. I play music around him a lot but he is more interested in what I call "video game music" which is all computer generated. Nevertheless he's got a good attitude about learning right now so we'll keep rolling. Maybe it will click soon. I just remember when I started taking guitar lessons as a kid excitedly telling my teacher "I wanna play like Eddie Van Halen!" Of course I eventually switched to bass, but that's a whole other story.

 

[Ggaa]

Don't force them to study your favorite instrument. I didn't have a choice, I had to take piano(not guitar or bass), my mom let me quit after 2 years. I was inspired by a few classmates, who from 4th grade on were talented enough to play guitar and sing at assemblies. Followed my own head and ended up playing bass in bands. Several young buds kind of went the same route.