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Getting married soon!! How will it affect my bass playing/owning?!

#22
you went to the wrong place to ask a question like this. It's different for everybody. Marriage didn't change things much for me, it's when the baby came that things changed. You know that bass that you think is just too expensive, but is the one you've always dreamed about, work your butt off to get that thing, ASAP! Don't wait until the kids have graduated college to get it, you will not be able to enjoy it because you'll have artritis.
 
#23
I used to play at school, before college... and re-started playing bass 15 years later, 2 years after getting married and with a 1 year old little girl and a little boy soon to arrive at that time.

So I've bought all of my bass gear before marriage, and I can't complain about that. I have to say that my wife has been great.

The biggest commitment I've had to make is about time. If you have kids (specially little kids) forget about getting time to practice when you're home. Not while they're awake, anyway. And forget about 3 times a week band rehearsals.

My reasonable averages are 1 to 2 days a week for rehearsals and the usual once a month gig.
 
#24
It would be wise to discuss all bass purchases with your wife before you purchase it. Never, ever, without exception, do not surprise your wife by bringing home a bass or expensive amp without discussing it with her first.
Married 37 years..........trust me!
 
#26
Sleeq said:
For all you married people out there... what bass habits did you have to change/amend? Or nothing changed?

I want to be ready from to anticipate!

Cheers!
Click to expand...
I play more. But then my SO is a guitar player and we jam all the time. She likes the blues so out will come her Gibson Les Paul. I like a lot of folk stuff so out comes my banjo and she then gets on the acoustic. The key is to marry someone who you actually like to do stuff with, not someone you just like to see naked.
 
#27
you really never know how the dice will behave until you roll em,but 50% of marriages come up craps.......wives often change the rules in the middle of the game and get real
indignant when you call em on it......the smart gamblers i met always advised never bet against an even chance.......cute little babies will turn into sullen teens who think anything you own is available to them to use/misuse/lose any time......all in all girlfriends are way easier to deal with than wives
 
#28
when you hear " how many basses do you need?, you can only play one at a time"

you response should be " how many pairs of shoes do you need? you can only wear one pair at a time"

Then she will begin to understand.
your guitar/bass collection should be equal to her shoe collection

just sayin..
 
#30
Take all these responses with a grain of salt. Understand that what works for one house doesnt work for another. The important thing is NOW while you are not married is time to establish whats going to happen. People dont normally communicate everything about themselves during the dating/engagement phase, so once youre married, up pops the surprises. Just translate what you like to do and what comes along with that and it will be fine. If not, get another girl. Im serious.
 
#32
Congratulations on getting married. Make sure you copy the key to that ball and chain....J/K. My wife is supportive of my passion, but not of my gas. I tend to vent my frustrations musically, so if she knows I'm upset about something she brings my bass and takes the kid to the park or something. Having kids will change things a little IMHO. I love hanging out with my kid...he's a goof ball (he's almost 2). For a while I didn't really get to play all that much, but its because I was learning about being a dad and other things. Now I like to put him in my lap and let him slap on the strings a little bit.

On another note, the advice about getting financially established first is amazing. I didn't do that so now we are struggling to save ever penny we can before the big move to Japan. My credit was f'ed when we got married and I've spent the last 3 years trying to rebuild it.....but as long as she is supportive of your passion...and if your lucky your GAS then you guys will be great off.
 
#33
AlembicPlayer said:
when you hear " how many basses do you need?, you can only play one at a time"

you response should be " how many pairs of shoes do you need? you can only wear one pair at a time"

Then she will begin to understand.
your guitar/bass collection should be equal to her shoe collection

just sayin..
Click to expand...

I'm gonna try that...but knowing my luck she'll make a trip to good will or something...then she would be screwed cause she wouldn't have any shoes and I would still have my basses.:ninja:
 
#35
My wife and I are pretty secure financially but we still discuss every purchase over $250. That being said, she bought me 1/2 of my Ken Lawrence Brase 5 and surprised me with a new Lakland D55-94. And encouraged me to buy my Alleva Coppolo KPB-5.

Yeah, I'm not gigging as much right now but it is because I'm working full time and in grad school again.

Dan K.
 
#36
AlembicPlayer said:
when you hear " how many basses do you need?, you can only play one at a time"

you response should be " how many pairs of shoes do you need? you can only wear one pair at a time"

Then she will begin to understand.
your guitar/bass collection should be equal to her shoe collection

just sayin..
Click to expand...

After you ask her about the shoes, duck! Cause they will come flying at you. :hiding:
 
#38
LowDown Hal said:
What changed for me is my priorities. I no longer live for myself.
Click to expand...

+100

Depends on your budget, time available and what your family's priorities are. You really need to discuss the topic asap. Come up with a plan and work the plan.

Do you have health insurance, life insurance, auto insurance, emergency cash, cars in good shape, etc.? All the basics of financial planning come into play. Even more so if and when you have children.

Congrats on your marriage.

IMO, communication is key. Improving your communication skills is even more important. Here's a link to great book that may interest you: http://www.amazon.com/Questions-Bef...d_bbs_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235981817&sr=8-4

One thing that really helped me was to become a problem solver within my marriage. That is, not to focus on blaming or finger pointing. We went through premarital counseling and found it beneficial. The more in depth both of you lay your expectations, goals, dreams, fears, etc out on the table and discuss the issues w/o being judgmental, the better things will be. Even down to planning your time. How do you see how each of you will spend your time during the week? Working, visiting family, talking on the phone with friends, going out, chores, paying bills, home repairs, auto repairs....and on and on....

The question is: Where does your music fit into all of this? That's something you need to discuss along with everything else.

Good luck.
 
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#39
thanks everyone for the replies :)

Well the reason i asked on TB is because I see some threads/posts once in a while that "oh my wife didn't let me buy this, my wife got me a bass for my birthday, etc".

I'm just too excited i guess... the little lady knows how much music means to me... and that I have 3 basses.

thanks gents :)
 

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