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Getting married soon!! How will it affect my bass playing/owning?!

#41
Sleeq said:
For all you married people out there... what bass habits did you have to change/amend? Or nothing changed?

I want to be ready from to anticipate!

Cheers!
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Here's some free advice may help you in life and marrage.
1. Treat your spouse like you want to be treated. Meaning, don't do any thing to him/her that you wouldn't want done/said to yourself.
2. Don't ever take relationship advise from a person that can't stay in a committed relationship (especially if its your best friend)
3. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD do something. ( refer to # one)
4. Don't take financial advice from someone that's always broke (even if it's your best friend)
5. NEVER EVER beg for sex. You will become a lap dog. And it will be used against you in ways you can not imagine :):)
6. Do things together. and always have fun :)
 
#43
If you marry the right person, nothing changes for the worse. I've never been nagged, yelled at, eyebrows raised, nothing. I don't understand anyone that would deal with that in a relationship. She has also been to 98% of my shows and I have more fun with her there.

My wife personally re-covered the grills on two of my cabs for xmas and bought new speakers. Laughingly she also thought that I had one sunburst jazz bass until I put all 3 out on a stand.

Marriage is great, to the right person.

ampeg1510newcloth.jpg
 
#44
For me, I'm engaged, and it's affected my playing a lot. Well, it's a combination of both school (I'm about to graduate) and preparing to get married. This is the first post I've made in about 10 months on this forum. I don't know if that's any indicator, but I should say that I've made the choice to put bass playing on the backburner for the past year to get my responsibilities out of the way. So my fiancee wasn't the one who wanted me to change my routine.

Of course I'll get right back into when I'm done with school.
 
#45
If this is your big concern, you're not even close to being ready to get married. Seriously man. :scowl: You should have this stuff ironed out beforehand...marriage shouldn't change any of that that wouldn't have been an issue already.

Now kids on the other hand...you worry about this when you have kids on the way and you are freakin hopeless.
 
#46
6jase5 said:
If you marry the right person, nothing changes for the worse. I've never been nagged, yelled at, eyebrows raised, nothing. I don't understand anyone that would deal with that in a relationship. She has also been to 98% of my shows and I have more fun with her there.

My wife personally re-covered the grills on two of my cabs for xmas and bought new speakers. Laughingly she also thought that I had one sunburst jazz bass until I put all 3 out on a stand.

Marriage is great, to the right person.

Got kids yet? Cause thats when the fun REALY starts:D
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#48
I hear that kids change everything..........but..........my wife is a teacher for K-2nd grade emotionally disturbed special ed kids (equals = patience). I know that one of our own will change things, but nothing like her classroom kids. I don't believe that I ever bit, stabbed, threw chairs at, kicked, threatened to kill or tried to burn my mom or any teachers so we as a couple will be just fine when we have critters.
 
#49
Sleeq said:
For all you married people out there... what bass habits did you have to change/amend? Or nothing changed?
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The answer is simple - talk with your fiance about it. Express your wishes and intentions, and listen to hers. When you are married, what you do matters to both of you. Chances are that if you keep an open dialogue, it won't be a problem.:bassist:
 
#54
I bought my first bass 9 years ago... Got married 8 years ago, my daughter just turned 7. My wife's been a stay-at-home mom. I'm just now getting serious about pursuing my music passion.

My wife enjoys a monthly night out with the girls, and she knows I want to join a band and start playing. I just have to be careful and not over commit to the band, especially if it is not paying for itself.

Your goals will probably change. Mine did, in a hurry. No regrets though, but I had to set limitations for myself. :)
 
#56
For me some things changed for the better and others for something different (not necessarily for the worse). I have less time now that I have a stepdaughter to help raise. But I married a guitar player and we like to play together. We bought the daughter an Ibanez Mikro guitar because she wanted to learn how to play (she chose guitar over bass).

He plays out with his band and I'm his biggest fan. We write music together, we even did a Christmas album together as a family (his daughter sang on it like a little angel).

If one of us needs some gear, we work out how we can make it happen. I got strings and a strap for Christmas (being a guitarist he was appalled at how much bass strings are LOL!)

And our bedroom is crammed with gear. We're currently trying to do something more aesthetic than the "crammed in the corner" look.

It's always a work in progress.

Congrats, and enjoy!
 
#58
disenchant said:
If one of us needs some gear, we work out how we can make it happen. I got strings and a strap for Christmas (being a guitarist he was appalled at how much bass strings are LOL!)

And our bedroom is crammed with gear. We're currently trying to do something more aesthetic than the "crammed in the corner" look.

It's always a work in progress.
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My situation is similar to Disenchant's, except I'm a guitar player/singer and my bf's the bass player, and it's our living room and shared home office that has that "crammed in the corner" look (we now have a '56 Ludwig Jazz drum kit where our dining table used to be!). He's pro, I'm not (yet). We've been together 2 years and his 11-year-old daughter lives with us full time. I bought my latest GAS recently, but he'd made his major purchases just before we met. However, last year he wanted a smaller rig for smaller venues, so we made that happen, even though money was tight. He's been playing over 35 years, since he was a young kid, so the thought that us becoming life partners would stop him from pursuing his career and creative outlet is ridiculous, and he feels the same toward me.

Legally married or not, I think a successful relationship depends on accepting and appreciating each other exactly as you each are and not trying to mold the other into being someone else. Sure, some things are going to change when you set up a life together, especially if there are children involved. For instance, I go to most of his gigs, so now we have to budget for child care on those nights (but hey, it's well worth it :bassist:). He can't gig as much as he might like to because his relationship with his daughter would suffer (this will change when she's older). But if one of us really wants or needs something - GAS, gigs, whatever - there is always a way. It's all about making each other happy. If you don't have your spouse cheering you on in life, what's the point of being in the relationship?
 

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