Double Bass Gig Haiku

[padmavyuha]

this n00b is fretting
what preamp? strings? - hey, relax...
play some bloody notes!

 

[eucalyptus]

fingers twitching now
like teeth itching to chew meat
can't wake the neighbors

damn these time constraints
stupid thin apartment walls!
night owls play bass too

morning's not far off
THEN to blast the blasted walls!
make amends later

 

[emilio g]

a small reed section
intonation hurts a lot
I need two advil


full choir starts singing
in the wrong time signature
what a cluster****

almost all actors
never stop talking, ever
blah blah blah blah blah


you stepped on my bow?!
I may have to end you now.
(man, I hate people)

music directors
I’m sorry for these people
they slowly go nuts

What is that weird sound?
sounds like distorted rap song
My phone is on. ****.

GODZILLA IS HERE!
…or engineer make feedback.
I can’t hear, kind of.

(this is on my blog if you prefer to read it uncensored)

 

[Mike Goodbar]

The "pops concert" crowd
Looks like a casting call for
The movie Cocoon.

Eight cymbals, six toms
And a double-bass pedal
The night will be looooonnnnggg.

The barkeep has that
Stony expression that says,
"No free drinks for band."

Cute waitress! Did she
Wink at me? Oh ****, is this
The top or the bridge?

 

[Sam Sherry]

"Let's mix 'Giant Steps'
and Led Zeppelin in five!"
Maybe later, Earl.

 

[fdeck]

No gigs all weekend
Oh well, better spend some time
Out by the woodshed

 

[jazzbill]

I used to ask how
much will I get paid for this
now it's who's drumming

 

[toovakynd]

Drunk wants to sing. Oy.
"Shay, d'yoush guysh know Mishty?"
C Note tip-"Yes Sir!"


More drunk requests. Yay.
" I wanna hear some Stones!"
"Sure."(to band)-"Milestones."


The bride's father glares.
Maybe, the Ornette tribute
Not a good idea.

Pay low. Band not fed.
They want another long set.
The DJ got more.

 

[Sam Sherry]

The bride's father glares.
Maybe, the Ornette tribute
Not a good idea.

True story: Couple
both enjoy the avant-garde.
First dance was Braxton!

 

[Big B.]

I despise singers,
Never slow or fast or enough,
Or in a good key.

 

[Michael Eisenman]

Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves, a sycamore
Moonlight in Vermont

Icy finger-waves
Ski trails on a mountainside
Snowlight in Vermont
...

Ev'ning summer breeze
Warbling of a meadowlark
Moonlight in Vermont
...

 

[Jazzdogg]

Pennies in a stream
Falling leaves, a sycamore
Moonlight in Vermont

Icy finger-waves
Ski trails on a mountainside
Snowlight in Vermont
...

Ev'ning summer breeze
Warbling of a meadowlark
Moonlight in Vermont
...

You have remarkable powers of observation, sir!

 

[gerry grable]

You bet Jazzdogg! I'm with you.

Michael has remarkable powers of observation.

I've been playing this song for 50 years and never noticed.

Gerry G

 

[mr mastodon]

I used to ask how
much will I get paid for this
now it's who's drumming

 

[yem]

My hand hurts like hell
and this is just the sound check
I love 16th notes

 

[TheSuzie]

In memory of some people who crossed my path...

heroin withdrawal
cuff the frontman to the van
got any valium?

 

[TheSuzie]

my cousin the pig
to every girl in the club
"Hey would you **** me?"







BTW every has TWO syllables. Look it up.

 

[Bowman]

Laugh at rehearsal
because I skimmed this thread
fired from section

 

[Bobby King]

my cousin the pig
to every girl in the club
"Hey would you **** me?"

Wow, so many possibilities for ****! I wonder what he said?!

Hey, would you flog me?

Hey, would you whip me?

Hey, would you kick me?

Hey, would you feed me?

Hey, would you race me?

 

[toovakynd]

First gig on upright.
Drummer, guitarist all smiles.
"You played your ass off."

Are basses jealous?
Twice since I got an upright,
Slab basses broke strings.