• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Goodbye?

bassestkkm

bassestkkm

Gold Supporting Member
May 31, 2012
927
831
SoCal
#1
Hey guys,
I'm kinda teetering here. I've lost my desire to continue playing because I'm having some confidence issues. I just feel like I'm mediocre and can't really justify playing because I can't dedicate the time to keep improving. Normally, I spend a lot of time playing, but lately with work, trying to get into graduate school, and working on my mental and physical health I feel like I've lost my drive to keep playing music. I play 9 instruments, mostly on my own, and I have a feeling I'll miss playing and regret selling my gear. But at the same time I just am not in a great mental space with it. There's other life stuff I'm working on and things I've come to realise. But I'm gonna see what I can do to change this. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm gonna be okay. I hate overthinking.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pacojas, DiabolusInMusic and SirMjac28
#4
I sold every bit of gear I had about a month ago. I didn't ask anyone about it, or consult anyone. I just did it.
Later I was surprised at how many folks tried to talk me out of it.
The truth is I was never meant to be a musician & I was awful at it, really awful.

You might want to keep around the basic stuff, just in case you get some time again.
For me it was torture trying to keep the songs I knew in my head & learning new stuff was even worse.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OldDog52 and joeaba
#5
If it's in you, it won't go away. Sometime you have to put it down for a while to do other things. No shame in that. I put it all down for the better part of 20 years to establish a real day job, raise a kid, support a wife and pay a mortgage. Now, the kid is out of the house, my wife is back at work and making a huge difference in paying the bills, our bills are smaller with no kid, and I'm back to playing. Actually, I'm playing more now than I ever did before and enjoying it more now.

So there you have it. If you put it down and sell everything to do something else, you can pick up where you left off when the time is right. Or not. Either way, doing what you need to do now is right, whether it's bailing or keeping on playing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pilgrim, ctmullins, btmpancake and 2 others
#8
@bassestkkm

My advice is do yourself a favor and stop over-internalizing things. Sure, take a break from it, and if the desire to continue really is there, it will return to you. If you're in this sheerly for the enjoyment, forget about what you believe to be your personal shortcomings (chances are that nobody else really sees you that way) and just enjoy yourself. Life's too short to beat yourself over music, which should instead be a source of emotional/spiritual liberation. If it really, really does get under your skin to the point you cannot enjoy yourself, it's no sin to walk away and spend your time in more enjoyable, fruitful endeavors. Artists far more talented than either you or I have gotten up from the table and walked away, never to return, and for legitimate reasons.
 
  • Like
Reactions: oZZma
#9
Killed_by_Death said:
I sold every bit of gear I had about a month ago. I didn't ask anyone about it, or consult anyone. I just did it.
Later I was surprised at how many folks tried to talk me out of it.
The truth is I was never meant to be a musician & I was awful at it, really awful.

You might want to keep around the basic stuff, just in case you get some time again.
For me it was torture trying to keep the songs I knew in my head & learning new stuff was even worse.
Click to expand...

I had a rough patch and didnt play for years. I sold almost everything. I got back into it a few years back and I'm glad I did. It's my hobby and it doesnt even matter if I'm good. Its just something I do. I have a friend who does carpentry, his bookshelves aren't perfect but he enjoys his hobby. Any energy invested into anything will eventually result in something.
 
  • Like
Reactions: juancaminos, repoman, Farseer and 1 other person
#12
bassestkkm said:
Hey guys,
I'm kinda teetering here. I've lost my desire to continue playing because I'm having some confidence issues. I just feel like I'm mediocre and can't really justify playing because I can't dedicate the time to keep improving. Normally, I spend a lot of time playing, but lately with work, trying to get into graduate school, and working on my mental and physical health I feel like I've lost my drive to keep playing music. I play 9 instruments, mostly on my own, and I have a feeling I'll miss playing and regret selling my gear. But at the same time I just am not in a great mental space with it. There's other life stuff I'm working on and things I've come to realise. But I'm gonna see what I can do to change this. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm gonna be okay. I hate overthinking.
Click to expand...

Most of the people here are "mediocre" players. Do you enjoy playing music? That's the only issue.. If you enjoy playing don't sell your stuff. But there is nothing wrong with taking time off to get perspective.
 
  • Like
Reactions: oZZma, Obese Chess, GregC and 2 others
#15
all the posts seem thoughtful: i can't really add new perspective: i agree that it's all OK --- sell your stuff or not, put down your bass for awhile, etc. more than anything else = you don't owe anyone an explanation...you just have to be able to justify your take on this music thing to yourself. and you get to change your mind about it if/when you want! pretty cool, i think! best of luck to you on your journey! :thumbsup:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hues
#17
bassestkkm said:
Hey guys,
I'm kinda teetering here. I've lost my desire to continue playing because I'm having some confidence issues. I just feel like I'm mediocre and can't really justify playing because I can't dedicate the time to keep improving. Normally, I spend a lot of time playing, but lately with work, trying to get into graduate school, and working on my mental and physical health I feel like I've lost my drive to keep playing music. I play 9 instruments, mostly on my own, and I have a feeling I'll miss playing and regret selling my gear. But at the same time I just am not in a great mental space with it. There's other life stuff I'm working on and things I've come to realise. But I'm gonna see what I can do to change this. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm gonna be okay. I hate overthinking.
Click to expand...
I had a three year hiatus with business getting in the way of music. I was the lint under a bassist's toenail before that and maybe a whole toenail now halfpie sight reading jazz charts, 7 years on. Never underestimate yourself, keep your gear, and don't catch GAS.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back