In my opinion, EQ's should not be used for "tone" shaping. That's what your bass and your preamp is for.
EQ's are meant to control frequencies. Of course in controlling those frequencies your tone gets altered, but tone control is not an EQ's purpose.
You should dial in the tone you want via string choice, the bass you play, and the preamp (or the preamp within the amphead) of your choosing and the cab(s) you play through.
Then with whatever environment you are playing in, adjust your EQ to get those bass frequencies under control. Graphic EQ's, when used judiciously, will take care of room deficiencies by enhancing frequencies that seem weak and curbing those that are too strong for that room. Parametric EQ's are great for the mids by controlling only those problematic mid frequencies without sucking all the mids out of your bass.
How great would it be to have a really good preamp and just run a graphic after it for live use. Simple, easy to use live. Anyone have thoughts?
You just said what the purpose of the EQ is for. My bass sounds great direct, or through my Zoom B2 pedal. I put that into my Superfly head which has fantastic Graphic and Parametric EQ's and that is all I use the EQ section for...controlling frequencies for a given environment as the tone I already have is great.
When set flat, a Graphic EQ will leave your bass sounding just the way it is (as if you weren't going through an EQ at all). So if you are having problems with an EQ it is either how you use it, or you need to look into getting a different bass or preamp/amphead/cab.