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Grocery Store Etiquitte
- Thread starter Relic
- Start date
As someone with a walking disability *clap clap clap*
People don't believe that anything was an accident. If it inconveniences them it was on purpose.
This reminds me (nothing to do with you, or the handicapped lady at the store) there was a guy who went to my HS. He was in special ed; I don't know what his disability was. But he was an angsty, chain smoking little bugger who would ram people with his wheelchair if he felt they were going too slow
Sounds like a hard place to live for someone who doesn't like crowds.
I suggest a coping mechanism: Snobbery. Whenever you feel the anger rising, immediately start thinking about your own superiority, by passing judgment on the people around you.
* While waiting in the checkout line, look at the amount of junk food in the carts in front of you.
* Smugly bypass the aisles with nothing but junk, such as the bottled drinks, snacks, and prepared frozen foods. That's more than 1/2 of the store, that you will never have to associate with.
* Take snobbish pride in the fresh, basic foods in your cart, which display not only your health and good taste, but also your culinary skills.
* Revel in your superiority over the cretins whose faces are pictured on the covers of the magazines in the check out aisle.
If he really needs to let out some anger just go to the packaged meat aisle and begin punching various cuts of beef or pork. Watch for bones!
hehe - I have to admit that is not too far off from what I do 
EDIT: in reference to fdeck's post, not Matticus'
EDIT: in reference to fdeck's post, not Matticus'
I almost ran over someone with the scooter I rented at Disney. I was in one of the african countries in a shop looking at a small djembe. I had the scooter on and when I put the drum in my lap it hit reverse and I went flying backwards. It took me a few seconds before I realized why I was moving.
That wasn't on purpose though I have often been tempted to trip people with my cane. More often than not, they'd apologize to me.
I would do as you suggest, but my man Jeeves does all the shopping. I'm too busy moving money around to go to the store. Credit default swaps, and derivitives, oil field leases, you know, all the regular stuff us bass players have to deal with every day.
I'm obligated by my noble station to spend some time among the people, for their edification.
There are 2 Vons grocery stores within 10 minutes of me. One of them is nice, clean, courteous employees, really well stocked etc...
And then there's the other one..
Dirty, really stinky meat counter, just flat out rude employees, the list goes on. I went to the restroom at this one and in the main toilet stall saw 3 finished Steel Reserve 24 oz's and a dried up vomit pile next to the empty cans. It had to have been there for HOURS. I only buy canned or boxed goods at that Vons. NOTHING "fresh", if it even is....
Sprouts for produce, meat and poultry; Vons or Target for pantry stuff; and a local small chain called Keil's for meat sometimes. They have a great butcher and really good selection.
And then there's the other one..
Dirty, really stinky meat counter, just flat out rude employees, the list goes on. I went to the restroom at this one and in the main toilet stall saw 3 finished Steel Reserve 24 oz's and a dried up vomit pile next to the empty cans. It had to have been there for HOURS. I only buy canned or boxed goods at that Vons. NOTHING "fresh", if it even is.... Sprouts for produce, meat and poultry; Vons or Target for pantry stuff; and a local small chain called Keil's for meat sometimes. They have a great butcher and really good selection.
i do miss Publix. ( They treated me pretty well when I worked there in high school and summers during college, too.) in Chicago, I have to go to two different stores when I shop.
Best time to grocery shop is past 1 AM at a 24 hour grocery store. Hardly anyone is around. But, the butcher is gone if you need his services and bakery goods are not quite fresh anymore.
It's eerily quiet and I can take my time comparing the nutritional value of Frosted Blueberry Pop Tarts to non-frosted Blueberry Pop Tarts.
It's eerily quiet and I can take my time comparing the nutritional value of Frosted Blueberry Pop Tarts to non-frosted Blueberry Pop Tarts.
Wow, I thought Relic was kind of rude.
She was the Metta World Peace (a.k.a. Ron Artest) of grocery store rude.
I like going later at night but by then I can't find some of what I want in the meat or deli dept.
No, I'm the king of rude. She's got nothing on me.
I yell at old people, abuse cashiers, push little kids out of the way, place items needed by seniors on the top shelf just to harass them, and yes - fart in aisles.
All in my Pink Floyd T-shirt.
Actually my whole rant was really a lament asking others to be considerate and not rude. You're still misreading me. In reality I'm quite polite believe it or not.
Don't believe him. I was in Pet-Smart and saw him. He let his dog hump an old lady's leg and then let him poop in the checkout line.
By the way this is Charlie.(just learned the pic thing)
;-/ hiding
As late as the mid 80's I was driving to south Florida when I stopped for lunch in a little non chain restaurant in central Florida. It didn't take long to notice this older guy sitting a couple tables away with what looked like a family giving me a hard stare. I ordered and when my salad came and I started making ready to dig in this dude says in a voice loud enough for everyone in the place to hear "Hey you filthy hippie, the decent people around here pray before we eat." I looked at him for a couple seconds then said "Oh wow, this is about me not praying? I'm so relieved. From the way you've been staring at me I thought you were gay and working up the courage to ask me for a date." I thought the guy was going to stroke out and he actually called the sheriff.
A deputy arrived about the time my lunch did and after he got the full story from both of us and the restaurant manager he had a nice quiet sit down talk with the old guy, offers me his apologies, and takes off. Don't know what deputy dawg said to holier than thou guy, but it shut him down like throwing a switch. Or it could have been the "I'm gonna kill you" looks he was getting from everyone at his table that focused his attention elsewhere.
When I finished and went to pay, the manager tried to comp me but I told him no problem, it was not him or his place that caused the guy to show his ignorant ass.
When in the produce aisle, make sure to pick up a large cucumber and ask an attractive female if it is big enough.
It's ribbed for her pleasure.
