Guitar Players from Hell True Stories

[MooseLumps]

I'm pretty much all thumbs in a band setting. I have trouble with keys, remembering parts, occasionally playing in time... so when we hired a guitarist who had many of the same problems, I suggested that he join me one a week for my nightly practice, just so that if we sucked, we sucked the same way in the same places, and then could work on those.

He broke my nose and we fired him.

 

[neurotictim]

I had a guitarist who had the finest gear... PRS guitar, Mesa Dual-Rec head, Marshall 4x12, nice effects pedal... But couldn't be bothered to change the strings. I had to change them for him when the rust started cutting into his fingers.

Have I mentioned that this nice gear was left in the practice shed? The ONLY time he would "practice" was when we were rehearsing... Never understood the difference between the two.

Might not be a "nightmare guitarist" but was definitely a headache.

 

[IconBasser]

Once my band auditioned a new guitard player, during said audition the guitard reached over and turned down my amp. I broke his wrist.

wow. are you, uh, always this violent?

 

[MadMan118]

wow. are you, uh, always this violent?

He touched my rig.....

 

[MooseLumps]

Originally quoted by MadMan118... kind of a no brainer dude

 

[Ivs]

I played with a guitarist who,drunk or sober, would play all his solos in a different key than the song!

He generally got the chords & arrangements right & the solos would be the correct patterns/scales just in a different key.

Oh my God. I thought I was the only one who's played with someone just like that. I wonder how they manage to do that

 

[wingnut]

My guitar player was reading some of these and started laughing his a$$ off! He said he could relate as he had these problems back when he was auditioning other guitar players. He said you can always tell when it's gonna be trouble, there's a few "tells". If they roll in with a giant stack and effects box the size of a volkswagen, stop them right there. If the first thing they do is ask if you want to get high before they even unpack anything. His favorite was the guy who showed up with his guitar in one hand and a beer in the other and asked "which rig am I playing through?"

 

[Godbody]

You played with Slash?

I laughed HARD.

 

[Joel S.]

I had a guitarist who had the finest gear... PRS guitar, Mesa Dual-Rec head, Marshall 4x12, nice effects pedal... But couldn't be bothered to change the strings. I had to change them for him when the rust started cutting into his fingers.

Have I mentioned that this nice gear was left in the practice shed? The ONLY time he would "practice" was when we were rehearsing... Never understood the difference between the two.

Might not be a "nightmare guitarist" but was definitely a headache.

Rhythm guitarist I mentioned above was the same. He'd constantly leave his guitar in his car, or at the rehearsal space. He also insisted when new songs are brought up, we work on figuring them out together. He didn't get the concept that you practice and learn songs on your own time, work out structure, tones, etc with the band.

 

[Punisher Bass]

A lead guitarist I used to know would look down on anyone who didn't buy top name brand gear. He used a full Marshall stack with a 62 Les Paul while the rhythm guitarist had a US made Epiphone SG and all tube Carvin stack that sounded just as good as the Marshall.

 

[low-endz]

I was once in a groove rock band & the singer wanted to add a rythm guitarist, & I reluctantly said "ok lets see"... Well on every original song he insisted on following the bass lines "grooves" note per note.
Yeah after informing him to play trad rythm guitar he suggested I play ROOTS... Well well my band went back to being a 4 piece immediatly.

 

[low-endz]

I dont know whats worse a guitarist who allways has to do an extendend SOLO or one that thinks every good bass groove/fill/run should be copied on guitar & then info the bassist to play roots

 

[mrbass02]

A lead guitarist I used to know would look down on anyone who didn't buy top name brand gear. He used a full Marshall stack with a 62 Les Paul while the rhythm guitarist had a US made Epiphone SG and all tube Carvin stack that sounded just as good as the Marshall.

typical of every guitar player. Just bought an epi sg bass and a friend of mine got a gibson guitar. hes like, dude epiphone sucks, gibson is way better. :scowl:The kid wasn't that good anyways.

 

[Mr. Ray]

Here is something I wanted to add to a thread. This is not a put down to people who can't play but is a pet peeve of mine. I have hosted many, many blues jams with guitar players who come out and bring a different expensive guitar every week and can't even make the changes in a simple 12 bar blues progression. I try to coach them on what music to listen to, but they spend all their time buying equipment instead of ...well learning to play.

 

[gdawg27]

After the last guitar player left my band, we found another one on myspace who said he was a "jazz" guitarist. His profile mentioned session work. We gave him two weeks to learn a couple of our originals and a cover. Due to scheduling conflicts we couldn't audition him at the agreed time so we gave him another week to learn the stuff.

The night we auditioned him, the guitarist brought a jazz guitar, and the amp would crackle intermittently (from his guitar, the amp was fine). So we call out the first audition song that starts with just guitar, count it off and nothing. We all look at him, and I say, "you start the song". He plays something that doesn't resemble it at all so then I go, "ok let's play Mustang Sally" (which he was supposed to learn). He doesn't seem to know the chords so I play all the chords for him, calling out the names while doing so and he proceeds to play some rhythm-less nonsense. I was so angry that this guy would come to an audition so unprepared and waste our time.

 

[thumpbass1]

I've been lucky pretty much after reading most of these posts. I've had to deal with some guitarists that were prima donna's and jerks but most have been pretty good musicians and folks to work with. One audition I walked out on was when the guitarist who was also the lead vocalist got ready to kick off the first tune of my audition for being their new bass player, and suddenly he took off his very nice white Flying V and threw it against the wall of the practice room. The guitar held together, somehow, crashing off the wall and on to the floor. The walls were a dingy white cinderblock affair with some sound insulation thrown on. In the meantime the guitarist storms off outside followed by the drummer. I heard insensible screaming going on between them, and I packed up my gear, loaded up, and got the heck out of there while the guitarist and drummer were about ready to launch into fisticuffs by the time I left over some issues that must have been brewing long before I auditioned. That was a strange incident indeed.

 

[NicJimBass]

I had a guitarist who had the finest gear... PRS guitar, Mesa Dual-Rec head, Marshall 4x12, nice effects pedal... But couldn't be bothered to change the strings. I had to change them for him when the rust started cutting into his fingers.

Have I mentioned that this nice gear was left in the practice shed? The ONLY time he would "practice" was when we were rehearsing... Never understood the difference between the two.

Might not be a "nightmare guitarist" but was definitely a headache.

This sounds alot like the guitarist in my last band. Never practiced, and when we confronted him about it, he said he thought practicing once a week, total, was more than enough. He didn't last much longer after that.

He had pretty good gear too, but thankfully our lead singer was also a good guitarist, so he'd EQ everything and make sure things were copacetic. That kid couldn't do anything himself, which still baffles me.

 

[R D Maynard]

Back in my tender teenage years, I had the dubious honor of playing with a guy named Ken, who came to be known as "Buttlips". He was actually a pretty decent guitarist, for 17; it was his personality that was so unpleasant. For starters, he had terrible acne and would twist the rearview mirror in my car around so he could see his zits as he popped them onto the glass. Then, after I fixed the mirror and was on my way, he'd stick his hairy paw out the window and try to grab the ass of any chick on a bicycle we might pass, hollering "Ooh, ooh, check this out!!!"

My favorite memory of him is when he and another guitarist got into an argument over who was better: Jeff Beck or Jimmy Page. The other guy wouldn't accept Ken's assertion that Beck was superior, so Ken knocked two of his teeth out.

And I don't think alcohol was even part of the mix....

 

[LedBelli Bass]

I sometimes play with an 80's metal shredder/tapper (complete with mullet) who can play circles around the best of them . . .

But ask him to play some toney blues and you get a blank stare. One day he -literally- told the band leader, "I don't know how to play the blues." It may as well have been a foreign language to him.

That's like getting to Z without going from A through Y first, isn't it?

 

[strke-fender]

I played with a guy that was
1. a terrible player.
2. ALWAYS late. we said he operated on "Derek time".
3. decent equipment but had no ear for tone.
4. chain smoker. the other three of us don't smoke and don't like it. so he'd smoke outside between EVERY song
5. bipolar. (seriously he's diagnosed) didn't make up his mind about anything.
6. started intraband drama. trying to turn members on members.
7. we played at our drummers house and they permanently donated their basement to us, we always thanked them and offered to do things around the house i.e. clean up the basement and take care of our garbage and we'd bring snacks over every so often. he never did anything to help or contribute.

just an all around moderately ******** kid