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Had to fire the drummer via group text last night

Empiar93

Empiar93

May 10, 2017
50
73
32
Northwest Indiana
#1
I’m currently on vacation (well, heading back home today). Yesterday, the drummer was absent from yet another practice. No call, no show. So the guitarist, who showed up the studio and waited for hours on his own, in vain, sent a text to the group: “Gotta move on without you”.

Over the past year that he’s been in the band, he has been late or absent more often than he’s been present, even for the rehearsals that he schedules. And he lives down the road from our rehearsal space (I live a half-hour drive away, the guitarist is a full hour drive away). The drummer has kept us waiting to release material for months, as the guitarist and I have recorded our parts for the EP already. The drummer only had one recording session, and it went so poorly that we were going to have him record again after some more practice. But that never happened of course.

I’d been wanting to let the drummer go for a while, but he’s a good-natured dude (and also experienced, well-connected, etc) so we kept giving him chances. If he delivered, then even his unreliability wouldn’t have been such a problem (we have never known drummers to be skilled AND reliable AND available in our area). On the bright side, he did take the firing well and we’ll be able to remain friends and keep it all professional. I almost wonder if he wanted to stay in the band in the first place... but it’s no matter.

We’ll start searching for a new drummer soon - but I think we’ll program drums so we can just release the danged EP, have something to actually attract a talented and reliable dude to help us out. On top of that I’m starting to get into audio production (recording, mixing, editing) so I’m going to take this extra time to get more skilled with all of that as well, after finding a new rehearsal spot (as the current spot is in the drummer’s name, and is shared with multiple people).

Having to fire a band member is never fun, but it’s always nice when you can keep things cool and don’t lose friendships over it. Helps you to find the silver lining in the situation.
 
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#3
oldrocker said:
Wow, I would have been looking for a new drummer well before this final no show.

I think he had already quit the band, he just didn't let you know.

Good luck.
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That’s just the thing, he’d put together these plans, kinda get our hopes up, and early on he DID show some promise, but then he started pulling full-blown no-shows. We kept wanting to trust him because we’ve also struggled to find drummers for this band and in another band the guitarist and I were in previously. Being in bands here in Chicago has been a frustrating experience and although my heart is with the bass guitar, more than once I’ve considered picking up the drums just so we can move forward.
 
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#5
Empiar93 said:
I’m currently on vacation (well, heading back home today). Yesterday, the drummer was absent from yet another practice. No call, no show. So the guitarist, who showed up the studio and waited for hours on his own, in vain, sent a text to the group: “Gotta move on without you”.

Over the past year that he’s been in the band, he has been late or absent more often than he’s been present, even for the rehearsals that he schedules. And he lives down the road from our rehearsal space (I live a half-hour drive away, the guitarist is a full hour drive away). The drummer has kept us waiting to release material for months, as the guitarist and I have recorded our parts for the EP already. The drummer only had one recording session, and it went so poorly that we were going to have him record again after some more practice. But that never happened of course.

I’d been wanting to let the drummer go for a while, but he’s a good-natured dude (and also experienced, well-connected, etc) so we kept giving him chances. If he delivered, then even his unreliability wouldn’t have been such a problem (we have never known drummers to be skilled AND reliable AND available in our area). On the bright side, he did take the firing well and we’ll be able to remain friends and keep it all professional. I almost wonder if he wanted to stay in the band in the first place... but it’s no matter.

We’ll start searching for a new drummer soon - but I think we’ll program drums so we can just release the danged EP, have something to actually attract a talented and reliable dude to help us out. On top of that I’m starting to get into audio production (recording, mixing, editing) so I’m going to take this extra time to get more skilled with all of that as well, after finding a new rehearsal spot (as the current spot is in the drummer’s name, and is shared with multiple people).

Having to fire a band member is never fun, but it’s always nice when you can keep things cool and don’t lose friendships over it. Helps you to find the silver lining in the situation.
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He should take it well. It doesn't sound like he was very invested in the enterprise anyway.
 
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#6
I'll never understand why people let this go on. There are a few potential solutions. Talk to him and find out if there's a schedule that he can adhere to that will be more workable. Not everyone has the time to rehearse weekly but often that's not necessary. That's a solution that likely wouldn't have worked here, since it sounds like he wasn't really even practicing on his own.

Failing that, two strikes would be it for me. Anyone who can't show up when he's expected to isn't reliable enough to be counted on to show up when it counts the most. Strike one I'd expect some lame explanation (who in this day and age can't even call or text to say something's come up?) and strike two would be it.

As someone else said, he checked out of this band a long time ago. I hope you find someone good to replace him.
 
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#8
LBS-bass said:
Talk to him and find out if there's a schedule that he can adhere to that will be more workable. Not everyone has the time to rehearse weekly but often that's not necessary. That's a solution that likely wouldn't have worked here, since it sounds like he wasn't really even practicing on his own.
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Yeah, not only was he not practicing on his own (and again, studio was a 10 minute bike ride from his apartment), he was also the one who would tell us when to show up half the time, and he would still be late or no-call no-show. It was more of the guitarist wanting to keep him onboard than me at this point, because all we wanted was for him to help us release an EP before we were bound to let him go anyway, but we both should have put our foot down sooner than this.


Thanks all for the good luck wishes.
 
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#10
Have to admit... I became that guy that missed a practice... couldn't apologize enough. Then a couple months later ended out feeling a little sick and emailed two of my bands that I was feeling off and it was up to them if they wanted to risk a practice or not. Eventually tested negative for covid so it wouldn't have been in issue, but I felt guilty for both instances...

Drives me nuts when someone is continually late, misses, or cancels last minute and doesn't have any remorse.
 
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#12
Empiar93 said:
That’s just the thing, he’d put together these plans, kinda get our hopes up, and early on he DID show some promise, but then he started pulling full-blown no-shows. We kept wanting to trust him because we’ve also struggled to find drummers for this band and in another band the guitarist and I were in previously. Being in bands here in Chicago has been a frustrating experience and although my heart is with the bass guitar, more than once I’ve considered picking up the drums just so we can move forward.
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believe it or not, i've actually never had anyone pull a no-call, no-text, no-show in a band. the only way i wouldn't fire someone who did that or leave the band myself was if they or a family member had been hospitalized. even from a car accident, you can still send a quick text like "i can't make it - i was just in a car accident". our drummer's mom once had a stroke, and he let us know he couldn't make the show a couple hours in advance.
 
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#13
buldog5151bass said:
Rather than releasing the EP, why not have that as the carrot to dangle in f one of candidates - "see, if you get the slot, you'll be in the recording studio immediately". I would think a drummer would really want that, rather than months with nothing to show.
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That’s good thinking. So good, in fact, that that’s what happened in this scenario, because the whole idea was to bring this dude in and all he’d have to do is adapt to the songs that were written and then we can record, play shows once COVID ends, and so on. The results were... as shown above.

My thoughts this time around are, every rock/metal drummer in our area worth his salt is already in a band or otherwise unable to commit the time to writing the songs and getting into the studio for a project that just cannot seem to get off the ground. So I want to release the EP as a way to show prospective drummers “Hey, we’ve got our act together, we’re worth committing to, we need someone who can show up and play this, and write similar music in the future.” If that doesn’t quite pan out the way I’d hope then at least the guitarist and I have got our names out there on our own project, and that alone would be enough to keep me happy for a little while.
 
#14
pcake said:
believe it or not, i've actually never had anyone pull a no-call, no-text, no-show in a band. the only way i wouldn't fire someone who did that or leave the band myself was if they or a family member had been hospitalized. even from a car accident, you can still send a quick text like "i can't make it - i was just in a car accident". our drummer's mom once had a stroke, and he let us know he couldn't make the show a couple hours in advance.
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I think there were two main reasons why I didn’t just can him right away:
1). The first couple times it happened we didn’t actually need him there, we just asked him to show up (guitarist or I were recording or otherwise discussing band matters). So I forgave him on account of the fact his presence was totally voluntary. Once the focus turned towards him, I stopped being as forgiving.
2). Foolishly, I kept him around because we got along. He was a friend, but it took me a while to realize how dumb it was to keep him on for just that reason.

My best summary of the guy at this point is: “You’re not someone I’d work with, you’re someone I’d drink with - and I do not drink.”
 
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#16
pcake said:
believe it or not, i've actually never had anyone pull a no-call, no-text, no-show in a band. the only way i wouldn't fire someone who did that or leave the band myself was if they or a family member had been hospitalized. even from a car accident, you can still send a quick text like "i can't make it - i was just in a car accident". our drummer's mom once had a stroke, and he let us know he couldn't make the show a couple hours in advance.
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The one and only time I thought I'd be unable to make a show was a show that happened the day after I was admitted to the hospital from the ER for pancreatitis in February last year. The drummer in our band was living in my house at the time and the attack occurred during rehearsal for that show, so they were all aware that I was not having a good day. When I was told I was being admitted I asked the drummer (who was there in the ER pretending to be my brother) to have our LS call the venue to let the know we wouldn't be able to do the show, unless they wanted to go on without a bass player.

So that all happened, then the following morning all my test results were good and I was told they were going to let me go home. I called the LS and asked him to call the venue to see if we would still be able to do the show. They hadn't booked anyone else so I got out of jail, went home, put some makeup on, packed up my gear and headed to the show (it was an early afternoon show at a local brewery).

The point of this story is that's what it takes for me to think about cancelling a show, and even in those circumstances if there's even a glimmer of hope that I can make it, I'll suit up and show up.
 
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#18
Empiar93 said:
That’s good thinking. So good, in fact, that that’s what happened in this scenario, because the whole idea was to bring this dude in and all he’d have to do is adapt to the songs that were written and then we can record, play shows once COVID ends, and so on. The results were... as shown above.

My thoughts this time around are, every rock/metal drummer in our area worth his salt is already in a band or otherwise unable to commit the time to writing the songs and getting into the studio for a project that just cannot seem to get off the ground. So I want to release the EP as a way to show prospective drummers “Hey, we’ve got our act together, we’re worth committing to, we need someone who can show up and play this, and write similar music in the future.” If that doesn’t quite pan out the way I’d hope then at least the guitarist and I have got our names out there on our own project, and that alone would be enough to keep me happy for a little while.
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If you have the other tracks ready, I would get a real drummer to track the drum parts while you audition replacements. I know a couple of guys that are set up nicely for remote recordings.
 
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#20
Steadfast said:
Didn’t read the post. But the title of the thread is in my opinion Standard Operating Procedure that all bands should practice.
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The irony is, we’d have been nice enough to fire him in person if he’d ever show - but if he’d ever show we wouldn’t have had to fire him! It felt dirty even just reading the text message. But I guess unprofessional behavior sometimes warrants an unprofessional response.
 
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