Hard to join a band?!

[ThePresident777]

I'm sorry but this sounds like the saga of an adult putting himself up for adoption.

shag bands. Do sessions. It pays and you don't have to live with the wierdos.

 

[Perrygoround]

Why don't you form your own band, with you as the leader? Instead of asking others if you can join them, why not be the guy choosing who you will play with? Start with finding just one other player--a guitarist or drummer, for example--and then go on from there.

This puts you in the driver's seat.

I was going to suggest exactly the same. Start your own band, then look for musicians to complete it.

 

[brianrost]

With the added difficulty of having to learn by heart 2-4 songs in less than a week beforehand.

If you can't learn 4 songs in less than a week, you might be trying to play stuff beyond your current abilities.

 

[Remyd]

If you can't learn 4 songs in less than a week, you might be trying to play stuff beyond your current abilities.

Depending on the songs, of course. Rock covers, yes. Complicated jazz arrangements, not so much. ;_)

 

[klokker]

That sentence is confusing me. It somehow doesn't fit with the rest of your description... I'm sure most gigging musicians know hundreds of different riffs in many different styles.

Yeah, I don't get this either. If you aren't accepted by a band, I doubt it would be because you don't know enough "riffs". If the riff is in the song, do it otherwise I wouldn't worry about "riffs".

In my case, the skill that helped me the most was the ability to be flexible and adapt to the band. Sometimes the bass part that's in the actual song doesn't work when you play it in your band, so you have to change up what you're doing. I think what got me the gig I have now was that when I was playing one of the songs and realized that the part I had learned for it wasn't working I could change it.

Hope it works out for you.

 

[40Hz]

I understand why he's saying all that to us, i'm wondering if OP is listing off credentials like that during auditions. It may come off as a little much or even intimidating.

Valid point. I guess my response was flavored by my own preferred way of finding new band members - which is to say I want to know as much as possible before our first meeting. So if you have something to brag about, by all means let me know about it up front.

But maybe that's just me. I never feel intimidated by someone who's a better musician than I am. I already know there are a huge number of people out there who know more and play better than I do. So there's no ego to feel bruised when I encounter somebody who's half as old as me who plays ten times better than I do. All that does is inspire and motivate me to work a little harder.

 

[brianrost]

Depending on the songs, of course. Rock covers, yes. Complicated jazz arrangements, not so much. ;_)

That was my point, actually. I'm awful at playing jazz, a total beginner. So learning 4 jazz tunes in a week is beyond my abilities. Rock/C&W/blues/folk covers, sure a week for me is enough unless they are all Rush covers

 

[JRA]

'it's not your playing, it's just not the right fit'

i was told that a couple of years ago: moved from indy to cincy (still play in the indy band) and was looking for playing opportunities in the new locale. responded to some CL ads for auditions: went to a rocker's house for one: they thought they were pretty cool. they were 20 years younger than me (in their early/mid 40's). we jammed on some very easy rock stuff. i play fretless. we jammed for almost 3 hours = until they were tired and spent. everyone had a good time. after the session: the BL escorted me to my car with his way long hair (not a problem, but i don't have way long hair) and his bandana tied around his thigh/jeans (not a problem for me, but i don't do it), and said to me: "hey you obviously know what you're doing, but as you can see...it's not a good fit!" but he was correct........

Why don't you form your own band, with you as the leader?

so i pretty much did that: got with players who were more into the 'jazz thing', and now we have a 7pc. instrumental jazz group: play/gig regularly, for good money, and have loads of fun competing in the market against all forms of band iterations. for over almost 3 years now. i would have missed that opportunity, or prolonged the journey, if i had tried to hang with the rocker wannabes.

i think i would have gotten there anyway (i'm persistent, stubborn sometimes, and experienced), but i'm sharing this to point out that the "right fit" works both ways. and if you're auditioning, and you're told that "its just not the right fit," it probably isn't.

in reverse: this last spring we lost our guitar player (good terms) and so we advertised on CL and we also auditioned some referrals. we heard maybe 5 players total. all good players. we ended up picking the player who had a sense of humor! the other folks could play, for sure, but they seemed too serious, or they didn't smile, or they spent too much time reciting their curriculum vitae, yada yada. the person we picked has been delightful to work with (and he had no prior jazz experience, per se). we picked him because we liked him more! it was a vibe. he drives an hour to rehearsal every week, contributes to the music, the writing, the hang........

that took a lot of space to write = too much coffee! ha!

hang in, persist, practice (always practice!), employ patience when needed, don't look for sympathy, but be empathetic, have some faith in your abilities, and never think that your abilities alone will get you the job!

sorry about the coffee thing.

 

[beaglesandbass]

Valid point. I guess my response was flavored by my own preferred way of finding new band members - which is to say I want to know as much as possible before our first meeting. So if you have something to brag about, by all means let me know about it up front.

But maybe that's just me. I never feel intimidated by someone who's a better musician than I am. I already know there are a huge number of people out there who know more and play better than I do. So there's no ego to feel bruised when I encounter somebody who's half as old as me and plays ten times better than I do. All that does is inspire and motivate me to work a little harder.

Of course you don't feel intimidated, you're a bassist. Our skin is as thick as our strings!

 

[40Hz]

Of course you don't feel intimidated, you're a bassist. Our skin is as thick as our strings!

And proud of it too!

 

[Biggbass]

You are a fluke of the universe....give up.

 

[mattattack187]

Took me 7 years of playing to be able to find the right people to play with. I've turned a lot of people down because of my own stubbornness and judgmental nature. I like to play with people who are stress free and don't bring along any family drama or personal demons.

 

[Bass'd on a true story]

I've played with a lot of people who love my playing and think I'm fun to hang out with. I've also failed an audition before and been rejected. One of the two guitarists kept jumping down my throat and kind of low key making fun of the way I dress and talk through out the whole audition (craigslist punk band).

The truth is, you never really know what people are looking for. Some genres seem to have more judgemental people than others. One thing that I guarentee will turn people off, when it comes to originals projects, is not being passionate about the genre. I listened to some punk music when I was younger, but the reality is that I have no business joining a punk band, and they picked that up right away.

You may have more luck making your own ad on CL or other sites and just post a video and advertise what you are looking for. That way you are already half way there when someone responds to you.

 

[RoadRanger]

I like to play with people who are stress free and don't bring along any family drama or personal demons.

So, no musicians allowed? LOL

 

[mattattack187]

So, no musicians allowed? LOL

There lies my problem man! LOL

 

[RoadRanger]

One thing that I guarentee will turn people off, when it comes to originals projects, is not being passionate about the genre.

AKA if you know how to play any other genre (or even know what a chord is ) you're not "a good fit" for an originals punk or metal band LOL. Been there, done that .

 

[Wesley R]

I have not cut it in many auditions. A couple were soul crushing, a few were outright hilarious, a couple were a poor fit, and a few I may have dodged a bullet as there ships were sinking. One in particular stuck with me for a long time as the BL was very encouraging and getting to and back from the audition was a life changing experience.

 

[DwaynieAD]

I've turned down every offer I've got over the past two years

 

[GnarwhalNick]

I've been the guy on the other end of this. As in I've turned down drummers and guitarists because it didn't fit my "vision". Towards the end of my senior year of high school I got into my first serious band. After watching Pepper one night I went to my friends house the next day and told him I wanted him to play guitar with me and we would both sing as well. I had jammed with him as a drummer for years before that but he had expressed interest in guitar for the longest time and I finally let him have his wish. The two of us build not just a band, but a "brand" in our eyes (we treated it like a business). We wrote great songs, he wrote and recorded drum parts, and we saw stars. We made logos and shirts and made an account on every social media platform possible. We had played a couple of shows with different drummers but they were mostly friends who filled in whenever we wanted to play live. This continued into college where we found our best drummer and we played in front of the largest crowd we'd ever performed in front of. The issue was that he was more interested in forming a djent band with our friend who was helping us record songs. Over the years plenty of friends approached us to play drums and we turned them down because it wasn't the "vision" we had. I even got into an argument with my guitarist because he started writing songs that required more than one guitar on stage and I stubbornly turned down his requests to bring another guitarist on stage because I wanted to be a 3-piece band, even on stage. After not having a full-time drummer for 4 years, the band kinda died. We're still best friends and jam every now and again but it's not the same anymore.


All of that because I wanted to uphold this vision I had since I rode in that taxi cab home from the Pepper concert. In turn, we could have played more shows and written more songs if we would have just picked one of our friends who had wanted to play with us. Sometimes a band that has been together with a missing piece for a long time gets used to it and they have made an image of what their ideal band mate is. It happens, and I wish I was less picky when I was at the prime of my college musician days (it is much easier to play shows when you're in college opposed to when you work a full-time job lol).

Just wait it out. Keep auditioning, or as another poster said, form a band yourself and find people to play with you. It's easier said than done but eventually You'll find something that sticks

 

[alaskaleftybass]

It sounds like you're describing situations in which there's an existing band looking for a bass player and--for whatever reason--you're not the bass player they're looking for.

Why don't you form your own band, with you as the leader? Instead of asking others if you can join them, why not be the guy choosing who you will play with? Start with finding just one other player--a guitarist or drummer, for example--and then go on from there.

This puts you in the driver's seat.

This is what I did. I didn't want anyone who imbibed because we traveled across borders. I didn't want people with serious criminal records because of the border crossing, and I wanted professional minded musicians. It's pretty unbelievable how many excellent musicians you meet (playing all kinds of different instruments) but "carry a lot of baggage" with them.

One year we thought we found the perfect drummer and at the Canadian border the guard pulled a pipe from his toiletry bag. That cost us 4 weeks of sitting in Bonner's Ferry Idaho. Luckily we turned it into an opportunity--we found a small club and gigged locally while we waited for a new drummer to arrive. Needless to say we dropped the drummer at the nearest Greyhound station. Goes to show you-- an audition goes both ways-- KNOW who you are auditioning for! You're checking them out as well as they are checking you out!

Also, if the OP wants honest answers from the bands, don't email! Go directly to the BL and get a face to face answer. Too much chicken$h*t through email. The coward's way out. People need to get back to doing business and confrontations face to face. You can't tell the intent of a statement in email, but you can read the meaning in a person's face. And email can be so misunderstood.

Here is my comment about dressing for rock and roll: