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Having a tough time

D

Drifta

Sep 13, 2006
721
6
South Florida
#1
Lately things have been going well musically. Rehearse with band 2x a week, lessons 1x , Jam with various friends often. Gigs coming up. But all the while lately im just getting tired. Sometimes I feel like I suck so bad, and it really messes my playing up.

It's like, everyone says I sound good, don't get any critiques from the bands I'm in... But while were playing I get so discouraged when I mess up, others say they mess up too but I don't really notice. I know I'm a decent bassist, but lately I can't stop psyching myself out. And I've lost ambition for practice. Feels terrible. This is the roughest time I'm having and I'm at my best place I've ever been musically I don't get it.

Anyone else go through similar slumps? Or am I just some crazy bipolar bassist? Lol.. Any advice is surely welcomed.. Had to get that off my chest.
 
#2
It's normal. And remember, you'll notice when you mess up but other's won't(think about what you said that others say they mess up but you don't really notice, it works both ways).

Usually when I go through a slump I'll pick something else up or play stuff that isn't my usual stuff. Then when you get back at it you'll feel better.
 
#3
I spent years beating the crap out of myself about my playing, don't get into this pattern, it's very counterproductive. There is a book called Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner that addresses psychological issues like this, it can really help you stop this negative thinking and teaches you to play from a relaxed mental and physical state, and most importantly, enjoy your own playing. I'd recommend it, and then suggest adapting his ideas to your own perspective and style.
 
#4
When you think you're not getting better, or doing good at all, or you are just in a slump or feeling down about your playing, turn your bass over, if your a righty try to play lefty or vice versa. It's an amazing tool to realize just how far you have come as a bass player. Do it for an hour or as long as you can you will be amazed at the confidence this will instill in you when you switch back.
 
#5
I have certainly went through this exact same thing, I think all musicians go through phases like this, Life i general is sometimes like this... we go through trials and tribulations and It helps us become stronger people/musicians... just don't give up bro!!!! you'll see some light very soon!!!
 
#7
Let me give you a little advice:
You never get to up without having a little down. The Universe has a way of grounding us.


And bass playing advice:
Yes we all 'mess up' but the good one's never let anyone else know (stopping, getting frustrated mid-song etc.) and turn the screw up into a crazy diminished lick! In fact, if you aren't 'messing up' you aren't pushing yourself enough.
 
#8
Happens dude, anytime I learn a load of new stuff I go to sh*t for weeks. Have had my face in my hands in a greenroom tendering my resignation to the band and then played a blinder the next week.

Don't know your background but take a step back and maybe do some relaxed woodshedding with the instrument.

Also don't forget the two golden rules I've been taught in the last year:

- Breathe
- Don't think
 
#9
Don't worry about messing up occasionally, it is probably only you who is actually listening to you, even at a gig. The rest of the band will be listening to themselves and the punters have cloth ears anyway* ( * Or so I am reliably informed by a retired pro guitarist friend. He refers to the punters as MAB - Mobile Acoustic Baffles)

The only other people actually listening to you will be other bass players and they should be gigging/rehearsing/practising anyway not going out enjoying themselves!

I had a complete brain fart at a gig one night and just could not place the song that the rest of the band were playing. I thought it was a new song we had just learned but it was one we have done for about 3 years. I pretty soon established that it was in A and managed the verses ok (albeit with the wrong bass line) but could not work out the other parts at all. (It was 'Can't Buy Me Love' by The Beatles). I just played it quieter than I would normally have done, but outwardly confident even though I was extremely worried that I was messing up

At the end of the set I apologised to the other guys for spoiling the song but nobody had even noticed that I messed up.
 
#11
Drifta said:
Lately things have been going well musically. Rehearse with band 2x a week, lessons 1x , Jam with various friends often. Gigs coming up. But all the while lately im just getting tired. Sometimes I feel like I suck so bad, and it really messes my playing up.

It's like, everyone says I sound good, don't get any critiques from the bands I'm in... But while were playing I get so discouraged when I mess up, others say they mess up too but I don't really notice. I know I'm a decent bassist, but lately I can't stop psyching myself out. And I've lost ambition for practice. Feels terrible. This is the roughest time I'm having and I'm at my best place I've ever been musically I don't get it.

Anyone else go through similar slumps? Or am I just some crazy bipolar bassist? Lol.. Any advice is surely welcomed.. Had to get that off my chest.
Click to expand...

Yes I have been through those.
Feels like treading water.

I always get out again when playing with people that can really play and push me.
Get into projects that are worth praticing for.
Those that challenge you so you don't have to up the energy of trying to search out challenges.

I'm sure that'll sort you out.

nothing worse than only jamming with friends...I'd rather get the sleep needed to sustain me for those gigs,bands and projects that help me get better at what I do...those that actually call another bssist if I show up late.

Good luck...I'm sure you'll find land again!:)
 
#12
One other thing might be to record yourself alone and then work on the stuff you are having trouble with. Then when you rehearse you can nail those parts better and not indulge in worrying about any errors you hear. I am not in a band right now but I do use a Zoom H4 and I set it up for say 20 minutes and then play it back. Sometimes I use a drum machine. In your case maybe get with your drummer and mesh with him. Record you and the drummer, the whole band and then rip it apart. Most likely you might not sound as bad as you think...........................:cool:
 
#13
TripleDouble said:
I spent years beating the crap out of myself about my playing, don't get into this pattern, it's very counterproductive. There is a book called Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner that addresses psychological issues like this, it can really help you stop this negative thinking and teaches you to play from a relaxed mental and physical state, and most importantly, enjoy your own playing. I'd recommend it, and then suggest adapting his ideas to your own perspective and style.
Click to expand...
+1 to all of that.

One other thing that might help is to record one of your shows / rehearsals, let it sit for a week, and then listen to it. You might find that you sound a lot better than you think.

Taking a break from constant practicing can also be helpful.

Whatever you do, don't give up. It's a long journey to mastery of your instrument, try to enjoy it along the way.
 
#14
I'll chip in. Remember that, if you are honest, you are you own harshest critic and will always know the areas where you are less that stellar. You will even count the areas where you feel relatively solid as ones where you can still improve. Any musician who is genuinely interested in improving will always see they have areas where improvement can happen - and frequently disregard the fact that even those areas are fine when it comes to playing with the band.

It's hard to ignore your own inner-critic and honestly, you shouldn't. But you need to remember that mindset is a byproduct of being genuinely interested in self-improvement - not an accurate representation of what the rest of the world sees or hears.

Take comfort in the fact that if no one else has a problem with your playing then your playing is not a problem for them. That's ultimately the bottom line when it comes to being a musician. When it comes to being a perfectionist and an artists, that is usually a starting point, not an end point and it takes a little mental adjustment to not let the most important and persistent critic's criticisms get you down.
 
#15
cnltb said:
Yes I have been through those.
Feels like treading water.

I always get out again when playing with people that can really play and push me.
Get into projects that are worth praticing for.
Those that challenge you so you don't have to up the energy of trying to search out challenges.

I'm sure that'll sort you out.

nothing worse than only jamming with friends...I'd rather get the sleep needed to sustain me for those gigs,bands and projects that help me get better at what I do...those that actually call another bssist if I show up late.

Good luck...I'm sure you'll find land again!:)
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm just being emo I guess.

Thing is I am challenging myself, I'm taking on jazz, playing different styles, with better musicians from I, weekly lessons ( teacher is turning into a mentor ). Its just a constant ebb flow of being burnt out lately.

How do you pros stay on the grind? I have great respect for y'all. Were hoping to get a Tuesday house band gig which will add lot more on my table. I'm just so terrible with focus and time management, the love for the instrument is there though..
 
#16
Here's something my band just figured out recently. We have good and bad nights like everyone else, but on some bad nights we still got a good reaction and cheers. The reason you are your own harshest critic is because you're comparing what you're playing to what you hear in your head. A lack of confidence will make this even worse. Here's the kicker; the audience doesn't hear what you're going for, only what you actually play. Their perspective is that of having a good time listening to good music. Your perspective is that of failing to accomplish a goal. That simple difference in perspective can make the same performance seem epic or horrendous.

If you don't already, try recording some of your gigs, and watch the recordings a day or two after. You'll notice some of your mistakes, but you might find some parts that felt horrible as you played them were actually kinda cool. Or at least it might hint at something cool. Often, that's all an audience needs.

Most people don't dissect music when they hear it (unless you're playing jazz). think of it this way; have you even seen something incredible from the corner of your eye only to realize it was just a rumpled up shirt once you look at it properly? Your imagination fills in the blanks. Same goes for an audience at a gig.

Now I'm not saying that you do indeed suck and the audience just doesn't hear it. Nor am I saying that you don't to worry about playing properly. What I'm saying is that if an audience is in a good mood and enjoying themselves, their imaginations will fill in the blanks for them. And if they're in a good mood and enjoying themselves, you did your job to perfection. Music isn't always about hitting the right notes or the perfect lick. Music is about getting a reaction (again, unless you're playing jazz (I like poking fun at jazz btw)).

Just look at Led Zeppelin, many are those who would agree that, when playing live, they couldn't put 5 good notes in a straight line if their lives depended on it. But they sure as hell captured peoples imaginations and made a lot more fans than I have... so far.

Hope this helps. Don't give up and keep enjoying what you do. When you come up against something really challenging, just imagine your favourite underdog story. (mine these days is the movie 300). That always gets me gun-ho enough to keep swinging with a grin.
 
#17
waleross said:
One other thing might be to record yourself alone and then work on the stuff you are having trouble with. Then when you rehearse you can nail those parts better and not indulge in worrying about any errors you hear. I am not in a band right now but I do use a Zoom H4 and I set it up for say 20 minutes and then play it back. Sometimes I use a drum machine. In your case maybe get with your drummer and mesh with him. Record you and the drummer, the whole band and then rip it apart. Most likely you might not sound as bad as you think...........................:cool:
Click to expand...

+1

Recording yourself is good, as is a session with just your drummer. If you are locked with him playing is so much easier and the band sound is vastly improved.

Jamming for jamming's sake is a complete waste of time once you are passed a certain level of playing. It is maybe good for the guitarist to practice his chops (that he/she should have worked on at home), but for the rest it is just terminal boredom. Well it certainly was for me, YMMV. If I never play another 12 bar jam ( usually in E but occasionally A) again it will still be too soon.

As you may be able to detect from the above I am not a big fan of jamming. Life is too short for that even if you are young, which I am not.

Edit
Sorry if I am aiming this a bit low, just read some more posts and seem like it might be inappropriate.
 
#18
I'm no pro, though I occasionally do get hired and paid to play.

I think being well-rounded, generally speaking, is a key to not 'funking up'. If you have other areas of your life that provide you fulfillment you have outlets where you can 'blow out the pipes' when one area starts bugging you.

If the other areas include some art component, the funk you are in in one zone can be converted into creative energy in another. I write lyrics and poetry, play other instruments and build basses outside of my primary bass-centric gig. I find being able to access those outlets to be essential in turning something that's pushing me around into something I control.

When you can take something like feeling down about your bass playing and parody it in a song - poke a little fun at yourself for being so "emo" - you take control over the thing that is 'controlling' you. Once you take ownership and control over it, it's yours to use as you see fit.
 
#19
jgroh said:
Take a week off, or two if you could manage that. Sometimes you just need to back away for a little bit to re-energize.
Click to expand...

+1
It sounds like to me that you maybe a little burned out. If you are losing the desire to practice and getting frustrated easily are 2 signs of burnout. It happens to me. I'm in 2 bands, have a side project of my own and take weekly lessons. I have to devote a lot of time to music just to keep up.

What helps me get over burnout is to listen to some good music. Esperanza Spalding is my favorite this week. And she rips on herself too. I think this is from her Grammy interview. "I have been playing for 11 years. You think I would be better. I need to go practice." I think she's perfect!!!! Just listening to her makes me want to play!!!!! :smug:
 
#20
tZer said:
I'm no pro, though I occasionally do get hired and paid to play.

I think being well-rounded, generally speaking, is a key to not 'funking up'. If you have other areas of your life that provide you fulfillment you have outlets where you can 'blow out the pipes' when one area starts bugging you.

If the other areas include some art component, the funk you are in in one zone can be converted into creative energy in another. I write lyrics and poetry, play other instruments and build basses outside of my primary bass-centric gig. I find being able to access those outlets to be essential in turning something that's pushing me around into something I control.

When you can take something like feeling down about your bass playing and parody it in a song - poke a little fun at yourself for being so "emo" - you take control over the thing that is 'controlling' you. Once you take ownership and control over it, it's yours to use as you see fit.
Click to expand...

Some great advice/replies here. Appreciated, hope some other bassists can benefit from this thread too.

It's funny you say that, my friend moved away and left me his 1960s Hammond ( no Leslie though :( ) that I've been playing with lately, since I learned theory on my bass I've been teaching myself chords and whatnot. Should have started on keys, makes so much more sense lol.
 

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