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Help! I’m suffering from amp choice overload!

I'm currently in the market for a bass amp again as the last one was sold when I lost my job.

I’m in the market for vintage sounding amps. Something that can get a little grind on its own as I like it a little distorted when I dig in. I have a strong dislike of graphic and parametric EQs. I like simple and direct. Plus I will spend less time tweaking and more playing. I’m playing passive Fenders... a P for the most part but a Jazz may sneak in there.

I was ready to pull the trigger on an Aguilar Tonehammer 500 and SL212 but then was worried the cab leaned too modern. But I’m not sure the DB cab will be what I want if the mids are too present.

Since then I’ve been looking at everything. Mesa Bass Prodigy, Mesa D800, Ampeg SVT, Tech 21 VT Bass 500, Orange OB1-500, Aguilar DB750, etc.

I’m in the St. Louis area so easily audition amp is not really possible. Only one Aggie dealer in town but they’ve only got one SL112 cab and a Tonehammer. Plus they’re appointment only and close the same time I get off work. Nowhere else in town has much bass gear to speak of. A few places have the Mesa Subway stuff, there’s some scattered Mesa cabs but that’s about it. The GCs are pretty much just Mark Bass and combos now.

I’m pulling my hair out! Help!
 
You are describing the Fender Rumble line. I would recommend the Rumble 500 head and which ever cab you fancy.
Or, my current favorite is the Fender Bassman 500 Hybrid which has the same power section but with a tube pre-amp.
I got me original Rumble 500 combo because of the vintage sound you can get with it. It can sound very old school.
All the components are small and light and would fit in you sample car quite nicely.
~~ Problem Solved ~~
 
Easy. Let's narrow it down to two.

1) SVT and a 4-10 or 2-12. It's the sound in your head and you know it. :D This is the only choice if weight isn't an issue. Anything else is simply incorrect. ;) (I recently acquired an SVT-CL and 4-12 Ampeg cab myself, so I'm putting my money where my mouth is.)

2) Mesa Subway and and two of their 1-12 cabs. It's modular, lightweight, and thumps. This system has literally taken the bass amp market by storm. This is the only solution if weight is an issue and money isn't.

I'm here to help. The others will try to lead you astray. Pay no attention to them.
 
That's quite a range of amps you have listed -- micros, tube heads, the big DB750.

You mention wanting "vintage tone", some grind-ability, and a straightforward EQ -- also playing passive Fenders -- but, without knowing the specific "sound in your head," there are multiple ways to achieve what you describe. If you're not in a rush, I'd suggest a Saturday road trip or three. Get out and play what you can.

You don't mention whether you're playing with a group or what your volume needs are, but if 810s and 610s even popped into your head -- whether or not they'll work with your car -- it seems we're not talking coffee-shop level.

Wait, just occurred to me... hold on...

Okay, here we go: For Sale - BNA Audio 1822

Close to your area and most definitely worth a look (I was tempted by it, myself). No affiliation with the seller other than having chatted with him a few times. Not your typical production cab -- and I haven't played it -- but here's a thread on it: Testing the BNA Audio Sealed Neo 1822 Prototype - Insanely long-winded
 
I forgot about the Bassman hybrid stuff! I think that might be my bogey!

I know the head shell is silly but that’s something I like about it. Probably adds $100 to the cost but can you really put a cost on looking cool?
Of course not. In fact, I had a guy who played in the 60s and 70s (like me) comment on how it looks like the old bassman stuff. So is sounds and looks old school. All you need now is a pair of bell bottom jeans and you will be the coolest bass player on stage.
 
I forgot about the Bassman hybrid stuff!
Ahhhh! But now it's in the forefront of your mind ...
I think that might be my bogey!
or huckleberry as we say down south
can you really put a cost on looking cool?
You can! $799.99
Bassman 500.jpg
 
you left out the first two heads I'd consider given your parameters - the Darkglass 900 and the Genzler Magellan 800. Both are very versatile heads with the ability to do a nice grit. Personally, I wouldn't look at anything other than the current generation of class D heads. They do everything you need and weigh next to nothing.

For cabs... that is even more difficult as there are so many great cabs out there now from the more traditional designs like the Mesa Subways all the way to the Genzler bass arrays, the MAS designs, Audiokinesis, and the Greenboy stuff, each of which providing its own mix of voice, weight, dispersion to the mix. I am huge fan of the Genzler gear (that is what I play) but realize there are tons of excellent choices out there.
 
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IMHO the cab is more important than the head. I have a TH500 and have used several Bergantino cabs including NV115, CN112 and CN210 (HDN is the newer version of the CN line). Tone on all of them has been excellent. But I've had perfectly fine tone through these using a Fender Rumble 150. I'm with you about music stores having nothing locally, I drove an hour each way twice for cabs and four hours once for my head. Sho Me Music in Flemington is a Berg dealer (among others) and looks like a longish day trip from St Louis, but may be worth a drive.
 
I like my Genz Benz GBE 750 for the kind of sound you're describing (also my Trace AH 600-12, but that's got the "dreaded" graphic EQ that you don't want). The 750 is an "old school" solid state slab of beef with both tube and fet channels each with independent tone controls (5 bands) and channel gain and volume, plus an independent loop on each one, as well as a master loop. You also get 3 footswitchable voicing controls that are adjustable on the head. The fet channel is maybe not SO different in vibe and function from GK RB series. The amp will also push 2 ohms. With your Mini that probably won't be important, but the thing is built. They go for maybe $400 or so these days (obviously not available new any more *shakes fist at FMIC*). Killer amp for the price, the ONLY downside I can see is the weight (33 lbs I think, "naked", so figure about 40 lbs racked or in a head shell).

If the weight is a problem, I imagine the Streamliner series is probably close in tone and features, but I haven't used one myself yet. Shuttles are a bit more "neutral" and not as oriented towards the vintage vibe, although I think they are capable of some of that (maybe in the neighborhood of the old SWR hybrids).

If you want to go new, everyone and their mom seems to love the subway heads. I dont think I've heard anything bad about them, so they are probably the "safest" bet. The rumbles are well regarded, but somehow I'm guessing they don't have much of the vintage vibe you're aiming for.

Cabs are much more personal, and also more inconsistent in availability, so I won't really comment too much on those, except to say that it's hard to go wrong with an old SWR or Genz 4x10, which are super cheap these days. If you went with a GBE 750 and a Goliath III or IV, or Genz XB, you could have a whole rig that would slay any gig you might come across for $700-900 (maybe less if you can score good deals on both). Since your budget seems to stretch a bit higher than that, that would leave you enough to grab a small and light 1x12 or 2x10 and lower wattage micro head (Elf, MB200, PF-350, etc...). Whether that's worthwhile for you depends on what musical situations you expect to be in. But having a steady band, being able to leave a rig at practice and have a small one for home and smaller gigs/impromtu jams/etc... is really convenient. I'm in 2 main bands right now, and I have 2 4x10s (Goliath IV and Genz XB), 2 main amps (the Genz and the Trace), and then I have a smaller Genz 2x10 (under 40 lbs) and another Trace head (with less features). So the 2 "big rigs" basically live at practice and the 2x10 stays at home. The Trace is my main head so if I know I have something coming up between practices I just bring it home.

But in the end, I would definitely try to play as much stuff as you can in person before making a choice. It can be kind of nice having a decent budget and a blank slate to get what you really want.
 
I forgot to add... I drive a Mini Cooper so 810s are out. Probably can’t do a 610 either.

I would take some measurements of your Mini. I have a Mini Cooper too, and you may be able to get an 8X10 in if you move the passenger seat up and tilt it forward. Probably wedge a head and your bass in there too, but nothing else. Keep the groove.