• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Help! I love and HATE my band (long)

I can't believe how the advise here has helped me -- thanks again for all the candid comments!

Okay, had our 2nd practice and I'm in heaven and hell:

Heaven: this band is great. If we can keep this drummer I found off CL who just moved to LA from Detroit we'll really be fun to see. Its all about the music, and they are all better then me -- I am really going to have to be on my A game. It is surreal to be playing with an old roommate of mine who I lost touch for 16 years, and now thanks to Facebook, we're back together playing. He was my first guitar teacher and got me into music so its a little student/master but I'm holding my own and he's impressed with my commitment. We both got away from music for different reasons (mine: wife kids, job, etc) I got back into it on the bass several years ago an have never looked back. He is crediting me with getting him back into music. The keyboard/lead singer is amazing. I thought I'd never be in a key band but the songs we can do are very cool.

Hell: I am mentally over the other band, and 100% into this new band I am leading the charge to put together -- but they other guys are friends of mine and I've been playing with them for over a year. I haven't told them about this new project yet, but they have to know the Keys/singer and I are connecting since we're constantly learning new stuff while they're out on 'smoke break'... There is a noticeable split in the band between the party'ers and the serious guys.... I know they will be bummed when I tell them we are both leaving. They won't care too much about the Keys guys since he is 2 months new, but how do I tell them about me?? :help:
 
Just be honest and don't beat around the bush. If you have grown as a musician and they haven't, then it doesn't leave much room for debate. If they are your friends, they'll understand. They might be pissed at first, but they'll come around. If not, then it's their loss more than yours IMHO. Good move on getting the new band going!!
 
Great thread, thanks for the update! I'm glad you're into such a good new situation (kinda jealous actually). As to your "Hell" question, I refer you to Post #39, great advice:

Learn to accept this:

As you progress, you are going to leave people behind.

Many of them will be good people and great friends.

It's all part of paying your dues.