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Help! I love and HATE my band (long)

#21
artdrtr said:
Guitarist: I confronted the guitarist about the song list changing on stage and he apologized for it. Said he was not following the list that night since we just told him the next songs and at that moment the singer was hesitating on the next song and he took it as needing to call something out like we do at practice.... I told him he had a list at his feet an we needed to follow it. He agreed - that issue closed.

The singer: I told him to get off the cheat sheets which make us all look lame. He knows, but I'm not sure he has the capacity to ditch the security blanket -- he is on a very short lease now and he now knows it. Ball in his court.

Drummer: He sounds good on 1-2 of the 5 songs he lead sings.
Do I tell him he can do those, but we need to rethink him doing the others?
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Guitar player sounds like his head is in the game, which is good. You need to stand firm with the singer and drummer. If he can't sing lead on a song, he doesn't sing lead on a song.

And security blankets are for babies.
 
#25
Any every band I've been in, there's always a honeymoon period then the issues start coming out. There are some exceptions, but in most cases there will be issues in every band. It comes down to how much you are willing to put up with. If it's to much for you then leave. If not then learn to be content with it. If you are going to continue playing in bar cover bands then there will always be issues no matter what band your'e in. It's almost the same as marriage.
 
#28
stoneboy26 said:
Man - I would be outta there in a flash. If you think their pot smoking isn't affecting their playing and your band then you are kidding yourself.

I seriously don't know where to start - every negative you listed would have me out before you got to #3.

Either find another band or find new members. You are letting these guys ruin whatever good thing you have going on. They are clearing not as committed to the band as what you are if they are going doing things like that.
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I'll save some bandwidth here and just go with stoneboy's analysis.
 
#29
My band isn't classic rock, but it is a cover band.

If I had to deal with those issues, I'd be gone already.

I agree with you on the pot smoking, I've been in bands where that happened and didn't affect the performance, so I don't care. But the total unprofessionalism with changing songs on the fly, calling songs out of order for no good reason, etc. when you're actually on stage at a gig is ridiculous.

If these are new problems, try to talk them out with the band. Explain how it makes you look bad to do stuff like that on stage. If they don't get it after multiple tries on your part to improve things, or if these are old problems, maybe it's time to shop for a new band.
 
#30
Cheat sheets?! That is embarrasing! I know good singers are hard to find, but, this isn't karaoke....

I can't really give any good advice that hasn't already been noted. Good news on your bass playing, keep with it and you'll find your place. And definitely talk to everyone, frankly, diplomatically and openly. It will save a lot of headaches in the long run.
 
#31
Very bummed today.... I've spend the past week since our last gig thinking about all the advise TB and my musician friend has given me regarding my band -- (sigh) I agree with all the points and it really now comes down to deciding how long I want to put up with it -- it's not a question of if I'll leave, but when. Like I said, I still feel like I'm learning & progressing personally as a bass player playing in this band situation so I want to push it as long as I can.

As far as having open discussions with the band: I've already been all over the singer about his 'personal issues' on band time, and the cheat sheets, but the guitar player playing in the wrong key, and the drummer's desire to sing lead on songs he has no business doing...? these are all very personal issues I don't think I can bring up without confrontation and bad feelings, so I'm going to just step back and take stock in the situation, and see how much I'm really getting out vs. what I'm putting in, and start to look around at my options. I did put in a lot of time and energy to make it work and maybe that is why I am so bummed. We skipped practice this week, so I'll let you all know how the next one goes.
 
#33
artdrtr said:
....but the guitar player playing in the wrong key, and the drummer's desire to sing lead on songs he has no business doing...? these are all very personal issues....
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IMO, they're musical issues that should be addressed in a professional manner. If they disagree or dispute that changes do NOT need to be made, then they have made the decision for you and you can move on w/o worrying about it.

Or maybe, you can except the way things are while you look for another band.

+1 on recording rehearsals/gigs. Then you have a reference and it's not just your "opinion".
 
#34
SteveC said:
Get out. Start over. Find new guys.
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Update: I'm making the jump. I found a great Keyboard/Lead Singer off CL -- tried to bring him into the train wreck current band and it was a mess, so I convinced him to start a new band with me. I am doing all the leg work but have a good drummer off CL and an old roommate I lost touch with for over 15 yrs now practicing with us. We have our 2nd practice today -- I'll let you know how it goes -- thanks TB for all the help!
 
#35
artdrtr said:
Update: I'm making the jump. I found a great Keyboard/Lead Singer off CL -- tried to bring him into the train wreck current band and it was a mess, so I convinced him to start a new band with me. I am doing all the leg work but have a good drummer off CL and an old roommate I lost touch with for over 15 yrs now practicing with us. We have our 2nd practice today -- I'll let you know how it goes -- thanks TB for all the help!
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Splendid move. Keep us posted.
 
#36
Don't even think twice. Get out. And if you're as strong as you say you are, pull a Bonham... you know, show up to other band's gigs and tell them how much better you are than their bassist and force your way into the band like a dick (no pun intended)! haha, just kidding. Not really
 
#38
For me, it has to be fun. If I'm miserable, walking on eggshells, and sh***ing blood because of the uncertainty (and unprofessionalism) of my current band, then I'd walk in a second. I think you made the right move. Good luck!!
 

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