Help me craft my exit email

[QORC]

5.5 years with this band. Mostly good. Some really large venues. But I'm tired of the BS. My tolerance level is low for the nonsense eminating from the husband and wife who run the band. I have some inner anger and I won't go into the details. I simply want to finish the two large gigs that are in the next two weekends and to leave on a high note and with grace. I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message. Anyone want to assist me?

 

[laristotle]

Tell the truth.
'I'm tired of the BS and I'll be done after these two gigs'.

 

[pepj]

Keep the 'move on' and keep it clean.
No need to pick a fight or burn bridges needlessly...
unless you really really feel that need.

And keep it short...the more you say, the more you invite 'questions' or comebacks.

Most sensible people know bands have a shelf life...and imv, 5 yrs is about it anyway

 

[tpa]

You could also say it face to face, if you can do so without loosing your temper. There are probably also some good things to thank the other persons in the band for.

 

[Flamingo21]

I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message.

Why? Why do you want more than the typical polite message? What do you hope to achieve by that?

If there's a clear goal you want to achieve, just state it in your mail. If not, then this is your "inner anger" secretly wanting to give the husband and wife a kick below the waist.

So be absolutely sure what you want. If it's that kick below the waist, you can still choose whether to take the high road, or whether to make a scene and burn bridges.

 

[QORC]

You could also say it face to face, if you can do so without loosing your temper. There are probably also some good things to thank the other persons in the band for.

Because I live veery far from the rest of them and that there won't be a gig for 6 weeks after my last one, in person isn't feasible. I don't want to just drop it on them at the last show for me

 

[QORC]

Why? Why do you want more than the typical polite message? What do you hope to achieve by that?

If there's a clear goal you want to achieve, just state it in your mail. If not, then this is your "inner anger" secretly wanting to give the husband and wife a kick below the waist.

So be absolutely sure what you want. If it's that kick below the waist, you can still choose whether to take the high road, or whether to make a scene and burn bridges.

No i don't want to kick them.

I just wouldn't mind a few ideas here on a good exit note. Maybe is as simple as I write above. Maybe somebody also has a few lines I'd like to use.

That's all. No kicking. Just dignity and intact bridges. I swear

 

[buldog5151bass]

Thank them for the time and good music. But due to a number of reasons, you have decided you need to move on.

 

[QORC]

Thank them for the time and good music. But due to a number of reasons, you have decided you need to move on.

Ah. This is a good way to approach it. Ty

 

[theduke1]

5.5 years with this band. Mostly good. Some really large venues. But I'm tired of the BS. My tolerance level is low for the nonsense eminating from the husband and wife who run the band. I have some inner anger and I won't go into the details. I simply want to finish the two large gigs that are in the next two weekends and to leave on a high note and with grace. I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message. Anyone want to assist me?

Whatever you say, take the high road the view is much better.
Remember bands are like rental properties, tenets come and go.
What seems to work the best , if you can stay until your replacement is ready.
Good luck!
Duke

 

[buldog5151bass]

Ah. This is a good way to approach it. Ty

More import, expect a phone call and/or text asking for clarification. You aren't getting out that easy. Decide now on how you will respond...

 

[QORC]

More import, expect a phone call and/or text asking for clarification. You aren't getting out that easy. Decide now on how you will respond...

no I doubt they will be surprised and I know exactly who they will plug in. A friend of the guitarist who is a good bass player.

I think it will be an easy transition for all of us. they now have 6 weeks to get the new guy ready. so good, I'm not leaving them in a lurch. I just want to go. I'm tired of not being appreciated or respected. Of the BS and drama. and the dictatorship of the lead singer and her husband. I'm just done. I want out. But I don't want to say it that way. bridge will remain intact. i'm too old to burn one. I don't have the interest to blast anyone

 

[Oddly]

"Hi guys.
Just wanted to confirm that I'll be leaving the band after the next two dates booked.
It's been mostly fun and a pleasure working with you, despite our differences.
I wish you all the best in the future."

Or...

"Guys, I've had enough of the constant bickering, idiotic decisions and sheer lack of professionalism.
I was warned about joining a husband/wife band, and I see now I should've listened.
All I can say is it's a good thing you two married each other, saving two other people out there from living with your BS.
I pity the poor misguided fool who'll have to replace me...and the others after that, as I seriously doubt anyone will put up with your childish nonsense for long.
Don't ever contact me again."



Hope you have better luck in your next project.

 

[QORC]

lol. the 2nd one. that's exactly NOT what I'm going to do.

but you gave me a chuckle.

Next projects. I'm very realistic. Bands come and go. Lots of them. this one lasted 5.5 years, which is far longer than average in my experience. I'm sure new opportunities will come along. different ones. I just enjoy playing. I love music. I just hate band dynamics!

 

[bolophonic]

Man.... a chance to walk away without having to negotiate final gigs AND you already have a replacement in the wings? I’d take the opportunity to keep it microscopically brief and avoid drama.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

You’ve been with them 5.5 years, pick up the phone and talk to whoever the leader is.

 

[QORC]

You’ve been with them 5.5 years, pick up the phone and talk to whoever the leader is.

nope. she's a t***. I've seen enough. it's all water under the bridge. the decision has been made. I'm going.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

nope. she's a t***. I've seen enough. it's all water under the bridge. the decision has been made. I'm going.

Right, talk to the person to quit.

 

[ThinCrappyTone2]

Just like leaving any job, keep it brief, be thankful and grateful. Be clear that it’s final, and when you’re leaving. Don’t over explain or say anything negative. Don’t try to get any digs in.

“Just wanted to let you know I’ll be leaving the band on <date here>. I am grateful for the opportunity and wish you all the best of luck.

Thank you,
<name here>“

 

[Willie5String]

5.5 years with this band. Mostly good. Some really large venues. But I'm tired of the BS. My tolerance level is low for the nonsense eminating from the husband and wife who run the band. I have some inner anger and I won't go into the details. I simply want to finish the two large gigs that are in the next two weekends and to leave on a high note and with grace. I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message. Anyone want to assist me?

Sure, be a grown up and don’t do it via e-mail or on the last day. If they are also grown ups, offer to sub and suggest a replacement, if you know one.