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Hey I saw that guy last night...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by SevenJacks, Jul 22, 2012.

  1. ...Yeah you guys know, 'that guy'. He's about 50. Beer belly. He was at the 40th birthday party we played last night. I don't remember his name but maybe you guys will recognize him if I explain:

    - He was a 'sound guy for movies'
    - He 'worked in radio'
    - He gets into a debate almost immediately about Martins vs. Taylors with my Guitarist/Singer
    - Goes over our other equipment and explains it's pros and cons
    - He doesn't shut up
    - Works his way into our set breaks so he can play some of his own stuff.
    - Goes home and changes into a t-shirt that says 'Film Crew' on the back.
    - Comes back with his own guitar but wants to use our equipment. Uses my guitarist's AM Fender Strat for his first set.
    - Hogs the mic a few times and tries to get raps and chants going with the crowd (Doesn't work)
    - Walks through our makeshift stage area (multiple times) WHILE WE ARE PLAYING and asks us about songs WHILE WE ARE PLAYING
    - Stands IN FRONT of me to do an egg-shaker on the mic (closest I've come yet to using my bass as a weapon)
    - While playing 'Keep Your Hands to Yourself' he's yelling in my ear about how he has stories about one of the Georgia Satellite members that involves 'Driving to Manhattan and nudity...'
    - Plays a second set of his own stuff and this time wants to use my guitarist's Martin.
    - He doesn't shut up

    I don't remember his name but I'm sure someone in here must know it.

    Seriously, this guy was a TOOL.
  2. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    Jimmy Fallon
  3. Sucks for you..
  4. *THAT guy* is at EVERY gig. Pre-beer he's just *some dude* but alcohol's magical personality-enhancingness gives him the self-confidence to make your gig his b***h.
  5. We had a guy at our last show who I wanted to stuff in a dumpster. As we are loading in i hear him in the backstage area all the way in the front of the house. He was on the phone fighting with his gf loudly to the point of excess. He has the backstage cluttered with his drum set and left no room for anyone else to set up gear. He is running around doing his best gangster impression. Intimidating all the younger bands with his frantic actions and incoherent babbling. we show up all 5 of us are very big guys in our own way, I'm 6'4. He tried that on us and he fails to impress us. So he starts yelling at everyone but us, then come to find out via his ranting that his is the drum tech and not even playing. He seems to feel our contempt for him so now he trys to be our buddy, once again he fails to impress and we tell him to kick rocks and leave us alone. Show time, he stands right up front going ballistic in front of our rhythm gui****, he screams crazy like in between every song fortunately we only have a few seconds in between songs. The show is over and then the gangster returns to him and he wants to hug us and tell us how good we played. I appreciate the kudos but I wanted to make him disappear never to be seen again, but alas I learn we are playing with his band next month. I don't want to play that show now, but I will have to tolerate his antics one more time. I only hope I can keep my mouth shut, not sure I can deal with this clown again.
  6. Where was your gig? If "that guy" had been pestering me or someone else in my band that much I would have had the club owner, bartender, bouncer or whatever either ask them to leave or physically escort him out.
  7. JimB52

    JimB52 User Supporting Member

    May 24, 2007
    East Coast
    Sorry. Jeeze, I don't even remember being at your gig.

    There is usually a guy at my gigs that points out one of the marshalls, pronounces them 'good amps', then tells me about seeing Hendrix back in the day. Maybe they had too much of the brown acid at Woodstock.
  8. JehuJava

    JehuJava Bass Frequency Technician

    Oct 15, 2002
    Oakland, CA
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha
  9. Jazzdogg

    Jazzdogg Less barking, more wagging!

    Jul 29, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    Me: "Please write down your emergency medical contact information and next of kin"

    Him (looking perplexed): "Why?"

    Me: "Because you are about to have a very serious accident."
  10. Steve


    Aug 10, 2001
    We got this guy that shows up and stands on the dance floor right next to the band playing air guitar and pointing out into the audience. All...night...long...every friggan time he comes in which is way too often.

    I had an incident with him years ago that started with him falling over the railing onto the stage and ended with me me grabbing him a slinging him back over the railing and across the dance floor.

    I asked him about a week ago, "Hey Scott, what's up with the air guitar all night? Do you have any idea how batpoopie creepy that is to everyone in the room?"

    He just got all huffy and walked away...and played air guitar all night.
  11. Stilettoprefer


    Nov 26, 2010
    I like the guy that comes in dressed in ALL leather and studs all over the place. He hangs out back stage and begs us to let him sit in on a song or tries to convince us to learn and perform Metallica songs with him on guitar. When we say no, he proceeds to make fun of our gear and say how his 5 watt practice amp is so great and that his squier strat is the bees knees. And how his ibanez GIO bass totally kills my schecter.

    You know, the same guy that thinks jumping around and kicking the air is dancing. That guy is my favorite of "those guys". He also feels the need to help us pack our stuff off of the stage after our set.

    His band consists of him playing creepy diminished chords on his strat through that cruddy practice amp and speaking messed up lyrics into the mic. And another guitarist just standing there playing unrelated chords looking cool. Can't forget the zombie face paint to boot!
  12. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Big Dogs Staff Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    We had one of them at a recent gig.
    He tried to come over and use my mic to play his harmonica. He didn't seem to get the shaking head "no" that I was clearly providing.
    So I took out his knee, from the back (didn't want to hurt the fellow), and he dropped. Smiled and said "oops". And some folks in the crowd helped him up and walked him out of the place.
    My drummer cracked up.
  13. gigslut


    Dec 13, 2011
    St Louis, Mo
    St Louis has a "that guy" who is legend. Cheap polyester blazer, sweats profusely, dances out of time and sings out of key at the edge of the stage. Somehow he has managed to achieve celebrity status. He gets interviewed on TV, is MC at events and even had a review column in the paper for a while. He's gone regional. If you have food at the table and he's in the house, do not leave it unattended. His one redeeming quality is his unbridled passion for music.

  14. JumboJack


    Dec 31, 2007
  15. Jazzdogg

    Jazzdogg Less barking, more wagging!

    Jul 29, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    There was a "fan" who used to make the blues scene here; a gravel-voiced earth-mother/stoner queen who was always cooked, and brought her own tambourine with her wherever she went. She'd pull out that darned tambourine and play it, loudly, often "joining the band" playing from the dance floor, barefoot; she didn't care what the band thought. Lots of bands tolerated her antics because she sold 'em dope. For all I know, she's still making that scene, if she's still alive.
  16. the wako kid

    the wako kid

    May 11, 2011
    unfortunately for me that guy is my guitarists father. he claims he was friends with both eddie van halen and dave mustaine,in addition to several other famous 80s metal people(he might have met them once).He comes in in the middle of our practice pushes my guitarist/singer away from the mike and starts screaming into it,after about 14 budweisers of course.once he did this while I was trying to tune mt bass up and I simply turned him off,for this he tried to ban me for life from said guitarists house,and then fistfight me. hes the biggest piece of **** I've ever met.
  17. Betrayer_Bass

    Betrayer_Bass Profanity Fish.

    Sep 24, 2011
    Oslo, Norway
    Endorsing: Spector basses, Winspear Picks, Spector Formula 603 strings
    I used to work in a Piano bar playing bass/guitar (more bass, I swear!) and every weekend we'd get like 4 of "those guys" always wanting to sing with the band or play. Of course we let them, and we discovered some really great talents in doing so. But there was one guy, high off his face on coke that didn't even ask. Walks up to the stage (behinds a glass top grand piano) steals one of our mic, starts screaming murder lyrics into the mic (it was a blues song) and "dancing" (basically standing on everyone's foot switches, turning the high gain channel on the guitar for a clean song).

    The guy who owned the mic he stole got off his stool, grabs him by the shoulders, shoves him from out behind the piano, gets up in his face, punches him so hard I heard the crack over the high gain mess coming through the PA, grabs him by the scruff of his shirt and throws him out the front door.

    We've played in a million places and we never got such great applause as that! :D
  18. "Those guys" visit Indiana frequently, and on good nights show up at some other band's gig.
  19. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    In my neck of the woods, "that guy" just happens to live right down the hall from me, in the apartment building we share with like, 150 other people. Hobbyist "bass player" who can play only the same rudimentary "blues" licks over and over - but devotes a significant amount of his disposable income to buying up really nice basses, i.e. Pedulla, F Bass, etc. :meh:

    LOVES to come over to my place to talk gear. Especially loves to find out what I'm into...then tell me all about the Next Big Thing he just bought - and how it will put my stuff to shame. :rolleyes:

    He's not allowed in my apartment ever again... :rollno:

  20. bassfran


    Mar 1, 2012
    Endorsing artist: Lakland basses
    Playing in blues bands in front of unwelcome harmonica owners? Hell, that's happened so many times I've lost count. :rollno:

    Stage crashers though, are a special breed. I've had to actually kick people off the stage, once involving flying tables, chairs, and glassware.

    I love the 'dancing phreak' folks you can come across, usually at the street fairs. Makes the gig more interesting.

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