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Hilarious things kids say...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Pbassmanca, Jul 1, 2017.

  1. Pbassmanca

    Pbassmanca In the pocket n' thumpy. So woody, so greasy...

    So I'm reading a Talkbass thread and my 9 year old son is sitting beside me. He says , "can I see dad?" I say , "sure buddy". So he's reading and then he stops and says , " "Talk bass? Basses don't talk. Except the ones with the hole in the middle. They talk. The other ones just keep their mouth shut....."
  2. Aberdumbie


    Jan 22, 2016
    South Carolina
    Having raised kids before I missed the cute offhand things they can say. We adopted two babies and I figured I would keep a list of the cute utterings so I won't forget when they get older this time. Thanksgiving is Giftsgiving. A soda is a knick-knock (sound of the pop tab).... I could go on.... They will hate me when they grow up and remind them of their cuteness.
    Pbassmanca and Killed_by_Death like this.
  3. Son of Wobble

    Son of Wobble

    Mar 8, 2010
    I explained crickets to an amazed kid who said, "Oh, I thought that was the sound night makes."
  4. Son of Wobble

    Son of Wobble

    Mar 8, 2010
    In Vegas with a friend's little son. I point out the New York, New York Hotel and Casino with its faux Manhattan skyline. Kid points to the adjacent Excaliber Casino and asks, "So is that Jersey?"
  5. I remember the first time I heard sarcasm from mine.

    Me: "I'm thinking about buying this guitar/bass." - pointing to photo

    Kid: Can you play more than one at a time?
  6. When I was a child, I went on a 6+ hour plane ride, and when we landed, I stood up and exclaimed "my butt itches!" My mom made me apologize to every passenger within earshot, as they walked down the aisle. It wasn't funny back then, but it's a good laugh, now.
  7. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    When I was a teen and still living at home, our neighbor had her grandchildren visiting one day and she brought them over to see us. While they were there one of them said the S word for poop and his grandma told him God had a book with your name on it and every time you said a cuss word, he would put a checkmark by your name. The youngest looked at her and serious as a heart attack said, "then daddy's book must be full."
  8. BassFishingInAmerica


    Jul 24, 2014
    My wife works in the healthcare profession. She suspected that a 4-yr-old child had a brain tumor. Her observations were correct. The child was diagnosed and prepared for surgery at a children's hospital, 50 miles away. The day of surgery, his head was shaved, and the operation was a success. When he woke up from the anesthesia, he said to his mom, "I don't understand why we had to drive so far just for me to get a haircut." On a side note, he is now 14 and doing well.
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2017
    Gazman, Mktrat, ArtGuy9516 and 7 others like this.
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    My girls are both total goofballs. They keep us laughing all the time.

    Jist tonight my oldest (8) was playing Minecraft. Pretty much you build your own world so to speak out of blocks and other digital doodads tou cam choose from. You cam build houses, bunkers, whatever.

    She said to me a while ago, "Dad, I'm making an emergency cake stash room with three shelves full of cakes.....cuz.....you know.....a girl gots to have her cake." :D

    (For the record, she just stays on the creative side and doesn't fight in the game. And my girls only get screens on the weekends so they don't sit around playing those things all the time.)
  10. speaking out of blocks is more difficult than you think :smug:
    Pbassmanca likes this.
  11. Pbassmanca

    Pbassmanca In the pocket n' thumpy. So woody, so greasy...

    My youngest son (8) loves minecraft. He designs the most interesting houses in that game. I told him he should become an architect.
    two fingers likes this.
  12. Responsible parenting?:hyper: Thank you.
    Pbassmanca and two fingers like this.
  13. We had had our dog for a while when the 5 year old started musing about wanting another pet. "Well Gatorbait , what kind of a pet do you think you want?" "I think I want an iguana" he replied. This came as a bit of a shock so we tried to figure out how to talk him out of it. "You know son , iguanas can get pretty big. What if he eats the dog?" Without missing a beat he replied "Well , I guess we would have a barking iguana."
    Gazman, Pbassmanca, Joedog and 4 others like this.
  14. Joedog


    Jan 28, 2010
    Pensacola FL
    When my young niece asked for a cookie w/o saying please, I asked "what's the magic word?" She relied: "Bippity boppity boo!"
  15. FilterFunk

    FilterFunk Everything is on the ONE! Supporting Member

    Mar 31, 2010
    For some reason, I picture her saying this in a perfect Bootsy voice: "Bippity boppity boo, bobba!":D
    Joedog likes this.
  16. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    When my daughter was about 2 years old, she had a substantial vocabulary but when naming the colors she would always say "lello" for "yellow." So I asked her if she could say "yes," and she said, "yes." So I explained that yellow starts out just like "yes," but ends with "ellow." She responded, "Dad, I can say lello. I can't say yellow." I laughed so hard it made her cry.
    Inkdork, FilterFunk and Pbassmanca like this.
  17. tlc1976


    Aug 2, 2016
    When my daughter was 2 we were in the store and the feminine products were nearby. She couldn't read but noticed similarities in logos and packaging. She picks up a package of pads and said "this is training pants". I'm like "well no this is something else". She said "but this is for me!". I said "ok you're right but not for a LONG time".

    Another time she was overly tired at my grandmas and my grandma said "oh you'll sleep like a baby". She immediately came back with "babies don't sleep really good!"

    When her brother was little he was pretending to talk on the phone. But instead of "Hello", he would say "Hellno".
    bolophonic, Nashrakh and Pbassmanca like this.
  18. :roflmao:
  19. Fat Freddy

    Fat Freddy Supporting Member

    Feb 23, 2016
    Albany NY
    My son on seeing his first live cow.....

    "Why have cows got four willy's?".....
    Pbassmanca, tlc1976 and Joedog like this.
  20. BossOnBass


    Aug 11, 2012
    Houston, TX
    I had been listening to Bob Marley a lot. My 8 year old really got into it. One day he innocently asked "Dad, can you play some more of that music from the 1900's?"
    Pbassmanca likes this.

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