Home Schooling any thoughts???

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by jady, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. jady


    Jul 21, 2006
    Modesto, CA
    Well, our oldest son is going to start school pretty soon, my wife wants to home school him. I understand the educational benefits, I have known many home schooled kids and they are all way ahead of thier peers in public schools and have gone on to be quite successful.

    My concern is, what about the social interaction? Do they grow up to be well adjusted? On the one hand they wont get mercilessly teased and picked on but on the other hand don't they need to learn how to deal with being mercilessly teased and picked on?

    Many home shool kids now are connected with charter schools and have some classes (PE, art) with other kids so there is some interaction there but is it enough for them to be socially "normal" (whatever that means). I want whats best for my kids but I also dont want to mess them up by removing them from a normal childhood.

    OK, now discuss..............
  2. Mark Wilson

    Mark Wilson Supporting Member

    Jan 12, 2005
    Toronto, Ontario
    Endorsing Artist: Elixir® Strings
    The way I see it, if you guys have the capability to teach your son, then send him to school, and when he gets home reinforce everything. Say he's at school from 9-3. When he comes home, give him about 45 minutes (like a recess) then make him sit down for an hour and a half or so, and you guys reinforce everything he learned that day.

    I actually just thought of that now. I'm sure it won't work out like I think it will. But it sounds good in my head.

  3. all those home school kids i know(i.e met one they were university age) while smart were pretty socially ********. Quiet, shy had lots of trouble making friends. Its not something i would wish for my kids.
  4. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    all the home school kids i knew were wacked out. one girl was pregnant at like 15 and the three boys i knew were socially ********.

    i'm no expert but it's a rough world out there and it's better your kids learn to deal with it and develope skills while they are in a relatively safe enviornment like grade school..... and not later when they they are out in the real world filled with sex, drugs, and rock n roll :bassist:

    i mean they are going to have to be let loose sometime...would you rather them develope their social and street smart skills while they are young and dealing with kids picking on them, selling them empty bottles of glue, saying i'll be your best friend for your pudding......or while they are older with them maybe being in a real violent/fight situation, people trying to sell them drugs, or guys saying i'll love you forever if we have sex now....

    i would pick pudding and glue....

  5. jady


    Jul 21, 2006
    Modesto, CA
    Thats what I thought but I know a few people home schooling thier kids and they claim that its changed a lot to try and prevent that very problem. Hmmmm..........

    Anyone here who was actually home schooled or home schooling thier kids now?
  6. I feel like public schools are just short of anarchy these days. Raising your child at home to think and talk like the adults he sees at home instead of the undisciplined children at a public school sounds like a good idea. Of course he is going to be awkward around moronic children, but he will excel at adult level conversation and interaction. He will be an adult soon and for the rest of his life, childish teasing skills will not be needed. Nobody teases me as an adult. Get the child involved in some sport or club for social skills. Maybe a home school baseball team that competes in city league stuff.


  7. jkritchey


    Jul 23, 2002
    Northern Va.
    How good are the schools in your area? Have you met the school principal? How about your son? Outgoing, lots of friends, or reserved and prefers to stay within himself?
  8. GrooveWarrior

    GrooveWarrior Supporting Member

    I am an administrator in a public middle school. A couple of years ago, we had a girl start in the sixth grade after being home schooled K-5. The second day she was here, we found her crouching in the corner of the restroom eating her deodorant. I couldn't make that up. OK, they don't all turn out that way.

    Here's my take. You have a building full of professionals who have dedicated their lives and livelihood on educating students in a group setting. They have studied and understand the benefits of differentiated instruction, and should be able to use that to cater to the educational level of any student who crosses their path (at least if they want to work in my building very long, they will :D ) I have long thought that homeschooling was a very selfish act. I hear people say "Nobody knows my child as well as I do". Well nobody knows my mouth as well as I do, but if I don't go to a dentist, I might be in trouble down the line.

    It is implssible to imagine the huge amount of learning that can be done in a peer group. Let's say your kid IS a genius. You would be amazed at how much they can learn by helping the kid who isn't a genius toward mastery of a particular topic. School is where we learn how to interact with others in a group setting and how to play within the rules and confines of group dynamics that will stay with us our entire lives (take work for example). Not to mention, kids need their friends, and need to have somebody to joke and tease with.

    Please send them to public school, and just take advantage of every extra program they offer. We don't do it for the money and fame, we do it because we are passionate about it.

    Just my .02.
  9. Kosko


    Dec 12, 2005
    I full heartedly agree with crhoton.
  10. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    That sounds good on paper; but so does communism.

    Every, and I mean every, home schooled person I've ever met has virtually no social skills. Those can only be made through 12 years of dealing with other kids in a close environment. Sure, they were nice enough but it's weird talking to a eighteen year old with absolutely no idea how to act around persons other than his family. Like a smart 10 year old in a teen's body.

    Also, realize that those "morons" run this country in everything from white collar to lab coats. Looking back at most people in early school, yeah questionable decisions were made, but in doing them and learning (or not learning) from them, social skills are made.
  11. Bayou_Brawler

    Bayou_Brawler The most hurtful thing ever realized

    Oct 23, 2003
    Ann Arbor, MI
    pudding and glue!
  12. Much of your decision should rest on the quality of the schools in your area.

    I've seen high schools that were virtually prisons, and others that were near to anarchy. OTOH, some of the best schools in the entire country are public schools. Gunn High School, in Palo Alto, is known nationwide. In my public high school in Georgia, we had 10 national merit scholars in my senior class, and amazing gifted programs. I went to Stanford; my best friend went to Harvard.

    Home schooling (with lots of added social activities like outside classes and sports) can be an excellent option if the schools in your area are terrible. Education is largely a function of how much one puts into it, though. You can get a really good education at a mediocre school with enough parental support.

    FWIW, I've taught in two public high schools. One was excellent, and one was mediocre. I've also subbed in some high schools that were pretty bad. Check out your local schools thoroughly before making any decision one way or the other. I'd be reluctant to home school my kids unless the local schools were pretty bad.
  13. If you get them involved in a sport or group hobby that would be enough child level interaction to develop into a social adult. If you home schooled and didn't allow any interaction with children then yeah it could be bad socially. But if you read the articles I listed and google for more you will see that home schooled children excel in college.
    I have seen public school children eat their own poop, so does that mean all public school children are messed up? I have seen public school children huddle in the corner and cry also.
  14. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Teachers are human. Some are good at their jobs, some are bad. Some will do a great job controlling the children, some won't. Some will do a good job educating your children, some won't. The upside to getting a bad teacher is that you will have that teacher for one year, at most.

    Your wife is human. She might be good at teaching, she might not. She might do a great job in controlling your child, she might not. She might do a good job educating your child, she might not. The downside to getting a bad homeschooling teacher is that you will have the same teacher for the entire education process.

    You should explore with your wife WHY she wants to homeschool. Safety? Religion? Educational standards? Then you need to understand why the local school system doesn't meet those needs. Finally, you need to HONESTLY evaluate your wife's teaching abilities. Just being able to reproduce doesn't necessarily make one a good teacher.

    We currently know 5 different couples home-schooling their children. All of them are doing it for religious reasons ("I'm not going to have a bunch of atheists teaching my children total lies, like science" is my favorite quote of all time from one of my neighbors.) This is a total group of 9 kids. Of those nine, I would only consider one girl to be "well-socalized," and that's only because her father insists on it. The rest are very awkward in social setting. One set of kids is incapable of dealing with ANY situation outside the norm of their daily lives. None of them seem any smarter than any of the other kids we know. Another set recently tried to enter a private high-school, but have been unable to pass the entrance exam after numerous attempts.
  15. arbitrary

    arbitrary Supporting Member

    Oct 24, 2005
    Boston, MA
    Being a graduate of Los Banos High in good ol' Los Banos CA, I can fully understand your rational for home schooling your kid in Modesto, CA.

    You would need to make up for that missed social interaction somehow if you did homeschool wour child. Maybe getting him a tutor that works with him for above and beyond material, after public school, would be better. Also look into private schools possibly.
    I've found that people lacking some in education can more than make up with it w/social intelligence (we are social creatures). But people lacking in social intelligenc can't make up for it.
    I would engage your child after school and find topics that interest him and run with it.
  16. jimb213


    Nov 2, 2005
    Austin, TX
    +1 that's pretty good advice.

    Is private school an option? If I ever have kids, that's the direction I would lean. The private school kids I know are generally smarter, more sociable, and behave better than the public school kids I know (with a few exceptions, of course).
  17. GrooveWarrior

    GrooveWarrior Supporting Member

    Those of you who have said that it depends on the quality of schools are absolutely right. Just remember, however, that the local school is a microcosm of the community you live in. If the schools aren't up to your standard, YOU SHOULD MOVE!!! If you wouldn't want your kids attending the school, then you probably wouldn't want them on the local club team, or learning from the other kids in the neighborhood.

    I can't help but think that I would hate for one of the first meaningful, extended conversations a kid has with another adult (outside of their family) be at a job interview.

    I could google a hundred articles that debunk the effectiveness of home schooling, but don't feel it necessary here. Most of those articles (on both sides of the argument) are written by people who have never spent any significant time (or it has been so long since they have that their argument is null and void) home schooling, or teaching in a pulic school.

    I know its easy for me to say (from my district that was named one of the top 100 in the country - thank you very much :D ), but your child will never have the exposure and opportunity to participate in all the clubs and extra-curriculars like they do in a public school. There may be some decent schools in Modesto, but you should definitely look into your local elementary. If you find an elementary you like better, apply for an intradistrict transfer. And by all means -- take them to school!!!!! Nothing worthwhile is learned on a bus!!!!!! From a parent perspective, of course.
  18. tkozal


    Feb 16, 2006
    New York City
    I am not a home shooling fan, they miss out on the socialization process, which is actually more important then the ABC's.

    But my crazed conservative sis inlaw home schools her kids, but there are all sorts of groups for these catholic home schoolers, events, games, opportunities to socialize, etc..which seems to make a difference...
  19. SnoMan

    SnoMan Words Words Words

    Jan 27, 2001
    Charleston, WV
    Guy, I'd be curious as to whether you could elaborate on "...is incapable of dealing with any situation outside the norm..."

    I, personally, am not a fan of home-schooling. Nor am I a fan of private schools.

    I feel that public schooling is far more enriching. Want my main reason? It brings everyone together. There is less feeling of separation. If there are feelings that anyone is "different" or "better" than anyone else....in this environment there is at least opportunity to engage in what arises from those thoughts.

    I'm stopping here, I don't feel like going on a rant. I believe children should be treated as equals and all be given a strong education.
  20. jady


    Jul 21, 2006
    Modesto, CA
    Hey, a local, whats up???? Yea schools here in modesto arent that great. As for my wifes ability to teach, we are both pretty bright and educated, I was in the GATE program etc, etc. She was in the advanced classes, etc,etc.

    We are both christians but that is not the reason for home schooling, I feel that most christian schools are severely lacking in the sciences and I am a very science oriented kind of guy.

    private schools are out soley because of funding, I am the sole breadwinner. And the loaf is prettymuch spoken for if you catch my drift :crying:

    I have heard a lot of negative stories with the exception of the newspaper articles recommended, does anyone know a homeschool situation that HAS worked out well?

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