How bad would this make me look...

[dmac1961]

To answer the question in the title, pretty damn bad.
You hired the subs yourself, pretty rude to try and get the gig back. But then again, you seem to have a low opinion of your band mates and a high opinion of yourself, so I'm sure you'll do what's right.

 

[I am Soma]

Talk to them.

logic is lame.

 

[Renaissance]

Do people not read?

There were 5 scheduled. I agreed to two. Found subs for three...

The two I agreed to do were canceled.

I am available for one of the three I found subs for.

You know what...

Forget it..Im going outside to play in the snow.

I can read just fine thank you. Perhaps you should try it yourself.

Please explain what I'm missing about what you have actually written.


There were 5 scheduled. Got it!

I agreed to two. Got it!

Found subs for three... Got it! BTW it seems to me since you found a sub for the gig in question you did choose to NOT DO THE GIG.

The two I agreed to do were canceled. This has nothing to do with anything but I got it anyway.

I am available for one of the three I found subs for. You've always been available for that gig but you turned it down because you wanted more time away from gigging and rehearsing to do other things. BTW, you are the one that said you thought it was an "exposure" gig when you turned it down.

You have since found out the gig in question pays and you want it back. You haven't mentioned any other changes besides the money. Why do you want the gig back if not for the money - you haven't mentioned any other reason.

If you want the gig back - for whatever reason - tell the band and let the chips fall where they may.

It seems to me the only reading problem here is we can't read your mind.

 

[glocke1]

I can read just fine thank you. Perhaps you should try it yourself.

Please explain what I'm missing about what you have actually written.


There were 5 scheduled. Got it!

I agreed to two. Got it!

Found subs for three... Got it! BTW it seems to me since you found a sub for the gig in question you did choose to NOT DO THE GIG.

The two I agreed to do were canceled. This has nothing to do with anything but I got it anyway. (THIS HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT).

I am available for one of the three I found subs for. You've always been available for that gig but you turned it down because you wanted more time away from gigging and rehearsing to do other things. BTW, you are the one that said you thought it was an "exposure" gig when you turned it down.

You have since found out the gig in question pays and you want it back. You haven't mentioned any other changes besides the money. Why do you want the gig back if not for the money - you haven't mentioned any other reason.

If you want the gig back - for whatever reason - tell the band and let the chips fall where they may.

It seems to me the only reading problem here is we can't read your mind.

Good grief. People see the word money and see nothing else. I don't know how to put it any simpler....the pertient parts are I am addressing are highlighted in red in the above quote.

The two gigs I said I'd do with them were CANCELLED and that is what this is all about. I turned down the gig in question because I had thought I was playing those two cancelled gigs with them. These three gigs (the two cancelled and the one paying gig in question) fell on subsequent weekends which is not what I wanted to do. I now have nothing scheduled with them until later in the summer and would like to play with them once in the spring and the gig that pays $$$ is the only one that aligns with my schedule.

Got it?

My main concern is how it would appear if I told the sub he is no longer needed AFTER the fact that the pay was announced and is why I made this post, in order to solicit feedback on that...My gut says it would look cheesy but I wanted a second opinion...wasn't asking to get crucified over it FFS.

Also like I said the money (aside from getting reimbursed for vehicle expenses as previously mentioned) is of little consequence to me and has very little to do my decision to want to play this gig.

As for the comments about me having disdain/disrespect for the other guys in the band, whatever....those comments are completely unwarranted, especially since I basically will play anywhere within 20-30 minute area of my home with them for no pay (for those gigs that pay I forfeit my share to the members of the band that travel an hour or more to get to those gigs.

 

[MVE]

Over ten years ago, my drummer skipped a great show to go camping...
We got a sub who had been following our band and knew most of the songs, and he did great.
But I was pretty pissed that he chose sleeping outside and popping in the woods over the show.
He is one of my best friends and I love him and it was over ten years ago, but I'm still kinda pissed about it and bring it up every chance I get. Lol.
If you'd rather be camping than playing a show you should probably just sell your bass and amp and use the money for new snow shoes or something...

 

[PortlandBass77]

"Common, take the money and run"

 

[Anthonyfranklin9000]

Over ten years ago, my drummer skipped a great show to go camping...
We got a sub who had been following our band and knew most of the songs, and he did great.
But I was pretty pissed that he chose sleeping outside and popping in the woods over the show.
He is one of my best friends and I love him and it was over ten years ago, but I'm still kinda pissed about it and bring it up every chance I get. Lol.
If you'd rather be camping than playing a show you should probably just sell your bass and amp and use the money for new snow shoes or something...

You reach a point in your life when you realize you can't make your life revolve around people's expectations of you; there is simply no end or limit to them. But time to do other things you love is most definitely finite.
I play bass at my church, and it's hard to find a sub without someone stepping down from their own instrument generally, which are equally important. It's non-paid, but regardless, if someone in the band guilt tripped or resented me because I take a weekend off a few times a year to go backpacking or camping with the family - it would not be cool.
Back to the original OP, it does have the potential to look bad. If I were in the same shoes, I would say something like "Well guys the shows I was playing with you got cancelled; you have so-and so lined up as sub for that _____ show, but I'm available in case you end up needing me since it looks like my schedule is free" and then genuinely be ok if they proceed with the sub since that was the plan. It puts the ball in their court versus you exercising control, but seems like the fair way to go about it.
I don't blame you for wanting time away with nature, and I don't blame you for being bummed to sit out that many shows consecutively either though.

 

[RustyAxe]

You are either in the band or not. Camping over music? That's crazy, let me go play homeless person while the band is rocking live on stage. Buy an acoustic guitar, take it camping and quit the band so they can move forward.

There's more to life than the perpetual pursuit of music. Trust me.

 

[RustyAxe]

Since when is earning money a crime?

Since 2008 ... where have you been?

 

[HawldieMPB]

Talk to the band, no one ever looked bad being a good communicator!

Yes. This is the answer to pretty much every question in Band Management.

 

[Big Brother]

Over ten years ago, my drummer skipped a great show to go camping...
We got a sub who had been following our band and knew most of the songs, and he did great.
But I was pretty pissed that he chose sleeping outside and popping in the woods over the show.
He is one of my best friends and I love him and it was over ten years ago, but I'm still kinda pissed about it and bring it up every chance I get. Lol.
If you'd rather be camping than playing a show you should probably just sell your bass and amp and use the money for new snow shoes or something...

You've held a grudge for 10 years because someone went camping?

I read the replies to this thread and one vision keeps popping in my head...

NONE SHALL ESCAPE THIS CAMP!!!!

 

[BassFishingInAmerica]

The question is ... Is this YOUR band? Or are you just a hired bass player, just like the sub they get to fill in? If you (and the other members) believe that YOU are the band's REAL bass player, then you have the right to play the gig, if time now permits.

 

[funkymonk13]

Theres a lot of petty bickering in this thread; c'mon were all adults here right??

OP, for what its worth i don't think you're in the wrong in this scenario. If you have a 6 figure job and are playing with these guys for 0-50$, i think its safe to say you're doing it for fun. In fact, I think its a little messed up on their part not to tell you about a $3000 dollar gig as soon as they found out about it, even if you don't care about the money.
From what i understand these guys are more committed to the band, but that doesn't take away from all the times you've played with them for little to no pay. It seems like you just want to play this third gig because you have no plans that day and actually like playing.

I don't know about what agreement they worked out for the sub, but i don't think it would be a bad idea to pay him for the first two gigs and then a cut of the third gig for canceling it on him.

 

[10cc]

Make sure you got batteries.

 

[jive1]

The lesson here is that you need to ask what the gig pays before declining or accepting. You might think you're being a jerk for asking, but more often you wind up looking like a jerk trying to deal with it afterwards. i.e. this situation. As they say, when you 'assume' you make an @** out of U and Me. OP assumed it was a non-paying gig, and that's where the trouble began.

And to answer the OP's question. It absolutely looks like he is only doing it for the money. If the people on this forum with their terrible reading comprehension can pick that up, I'm sure the band will as well. Even though the OP can vehemently deny that it's not about the money and sincerely believes so, it surely does look like it and any effort to explain will only look like the OP is pissing on someone and telling them it's raining. As say say, "If it quacks like a duck.....". If the sub found out about his shenanigans, I wouldn't be surprised if that working relationship or friendship got strained.

 

[frsbdg]

If it were me, I would not bump the sub for the paying gig. But I would make a note of it for the future, and from now on would ask about which gigs pay (and how much). You made a decision based on incomplete information. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

 

[Renaissance]

Good grief. People see the word money and see nothing else. I don't know how to put it any simpler....the pertient parts are I am addressing are highlighted in red in the above quote.

The two gigs I said I'd do with them were CANCELLED and that is what this is all about. I turned down the gig in question because I had thought I was playing those two cancelled gigs with them. These three gigs (the two cancelled and the one paying gig in question) fell on subsequent weekends which is not what I wanted to do. I now have nothing scheduled with them until later in the summer and would like to play with them once in the spring and the gig that pays $$$ is the only one that aligns with my schedule.

Got it?

My main concern is how it would appear if I told the sub he is no longer needed AFTER the fact that the pay was announced and is why I made this post, in order to solicit feedback on that...My gut says it would look cheesy but I wanted a second opinion...wasn't asking to get crucified over it FFS.

Also like I said the money (aside from getting reimbursed for vehicle expenses as previously mentioned) is of little consequence to me and has very little to do my decision to want to play this gig.

As for the comments about me having disdain/disrespect for the other guys in the band, whatever....those comments are completely unwarranted, especially since I basically will play anywhere within 20-30 minute area of my home with them for no pay (for those gigs that pay I forfeit my share to the members of the band that travel an hour or more to get to those gigs.

Oh I'm sorry. I must have missed that part with my poor reading skills. Maybe you should point out where you wrote that the two cancelled gigs freed up the schedule to the point you wanted a previously refused gig back?!

You want to insult everyone for their poor reading skills and being stuck on the "money" but you're the one supplying all the details. So far you've done a pretty poor job of actually writing down the real issue.



Here, let me help:



Hey guys, I have an issue I would like some feedback on.

My band booked five gigs this spring in a thirty day period (May 15 - June 15). Now I have previously discussed with the band that I wanted to spend a little more time doing other things this year (camping, etc.) and I would be cutting back on my gigging schedule. Everyone understood and was fully onboard when I accepted two of the gigs and then found subs for the other three. Perfect, right?!

Well, as Murphy would have it, the two gigs I accepted have been cancelled. Out of the remaining three gigs I'm out of town for two but, I could do one of them. I do want to cut back on my gigging - but I don't want to quit completely! I'm thinking I'll contact the sub and tell him I don't need him any longer but I'll pay him for his time anyway if he can't pick up another gig in my "canceled" slot. (With a couple months notice he should be fine.)

Now here's the rub. When I first refused the gig I thought it was an exposure gig. As it turns out it is one of the best paying gigs this band has ever had! Just so you know, I don't gig for the money and I didn't turn this gig down because of the money but I'm afraid if I reschedule everything now it'll look like a money issue.

So what say you all? Do I take the gig back and appear to be a *hore (even though the sub doesn't get stiffed) or do I just keep my trap shut and write it off to bad timing? Is there another tack I haven't considered?



There. Now go play in the snow.

 

[RustyAxe]

Theres a lot of petty bickering in this thread; c'mon were all adults here right??

Hardly ...

 

[fhm555]

Sounds like you have mistaken your role in this. You believe yourself to be a band member, but from the inside looking out you are just another sub.

It's also a good idea to remember that any time a sub comes in there is potential for that sub to schmooze in to the full time job. Just sayin.

Oh and if you can't be in full time, why not just hang out your sub shingle and enjoy your family time and camping?

 

[lfmn16]

Oh I'm sorry. I must have missed that part with my poor reading skills. Maybe you should point out where you wrote that the two cancelled gigs freed up the schedule to the point you wanted a previously refused gig back?!

You want to insult everyone for their poor reading skills and being stuck on the "money" but you're the one supplying all the details. So far you've done a pretty poor job of actually writing down the real issue.



Here, let me help:



Hey guys, I have an issue I would like some feedback on.

My band booked five gigs this spring in a thirty day period (May 15 - June 15). Now I have previously discussed with the band that I wanted to spend a little more time doing other things this year (camping, etc.) and I would be cutting back on my gigging schedule. Everyone understood and was fully onboard when I accepted two of the gigs and then found subs for the other three. Perfect, right?!

Well, as Murphy would have it, the two gigs I accepted have been cancelled. Out of the remaining three gigs I'm out of town for two but, I could do one of them. I do want to cut back on my gigging - but I don't want to quit completely! I'm thinking I'll contact the sub and tell him I don't need him any longer but I'll pay him for his time anyway if he can't pick up another gig in my "canceled" slot. (With a couple months notice he should be fine.)

Now here's the rub. When I first refused the gig I thought it was an exposure gig. As it turns out it is one of the best paying gigs this band has ever had! Just so you know, I don't gig for the money and I didn't turn this gig down because of the money but I'm afraid if I reschedule everything now it'll look like a money issue.

So what say you all? Do I take the gig back and appear to be a *hore (even though the sub doesn't stiffed) or do I just keep my trap shut and write it off to bad timing? Is there another tack I haven't considered?



There. Now go play in the snow.

I can make it even simpler. Guys, my band is doing a gig but I declined it before knowing it was a paid gig. Now that I know it pays $3,000 I want to play it. How do I word this to convince everyone it's not about the money?