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How do you all manage your expectations?

Billyzoom

Billyzoom

Supporting Member
Mar 1, 2011
857
1,313
Bay Area
#1
I've played guitar for some years, but just took up bass in January.

I'm trying to take it as seriously as my schedule allows, actually taking lessons from a good teacher and practicing as regularly as I can.

I'm managing this okay so far, but it's a struggle. I get impatient and because improvement comes so gradually, I can tend to get discouraged.

I know I tend to expect too much and am a little of a perfectionist. But, for example, I watched a Jaco documentary last night, and on a relatively three note line he played it so quickly and cleanly that I could hardly believe it. I could hear it, but couldn't even approach it at 1/5 speed.

How lame is it that I get frustrated after a few months of playing by focusing on my limitations and comparing myself to one of the greatest players ever.

I've got to manage this so I really stick with the instrument. I love playing bass so far, but think this mentality is part of why I never really sustained my efforts to see what I could do on guitar.

Maybe it's a defense mechanism...if I never really give 100%, I'll never have to accept that I may not be as talented as I hope? Who knows.

Neurotics should not play instruments is the lesson here, I suspect. :p
 
#2
Fuggetaboutit. I never worry about how good I am or how I compare with anyone else. If anything, I am humble, but not in such a way as to have a low self-image. I mean, come on, where's the fun, man? If I had to sit and very technically define how much expertise I have as a musician, I could honestly say I do ok, but compared to some others I fall wayyy short. The good news is I don't give a @#$%. And besides, what most folks call good isn't what makes a good player in my opinion. I'm into expression, articulation, that is. And more than that, I'm into what playing anything at all does to me inside, how I feel, how it relates to me, how I am saying what I want. Never mind what anyone else is doing. Jamerson, Oakley, Pastorius, Lee, whoever ya want, I don't emulate any of them. They do good at what THEY want to say. Why should that make me want to say what THEY want to say, that's for them, not me. I can only say what I want to say. So, I just get into that. Oh, it's nice to hear others say I'm good, but it doesn't mean anything other than that I appreciate that they feel that way. What is "good" anyway? That's relative to what's inside me, that's all.

So, come on, dude, chin up. It's music. It's YOUR music, no one else's. Enjoy it, get into it, let it take you for a ride.
 
#3
Billyzoom said:
I've played guitar for some years, but just took up bass in January.

I'm trying to take it as seriously as my schedule allows, actually taking lessons from a good teacher and practicing as regularly as I can.

I'm managing this okay so far, but it's a struggle. I get impatient and because improvement comes so gradually, I can tend to get discouraged.

I know I tend to expect too much and am a little of a perfectionist. But, for example, I watched a Jaco documentary last night, and on a relatively three note line he played it so quickly and cleanly that I could hardly believe it. I could hear it, but couldn't even approach it at 1/5 speed.

How lame is it that I get frustrated after a few months of playing by focusing on my limitations and comparing myself to one of the greatest players ever.

I've got to manage this so I really stick with the instrument. I love playing bass so far, but think this mentality is part of why I never really sustained my efforts to see what I could do on guitar.

Maybe it's a defense mechanism...if I never really give 100%, I'll never have to accept that I may not be as talented as I hope? Who knows.

Neurotics should not play instruments is the lesson here, I suspect. :p
Click to expand...
4 months is not a very long time. I know it looks like a guitar but, BG is a different instrument & only some of what you know about guitars applies. Some of what you do with guitars is actually a bad habit on a BG. I found finger picking to be very different. YRMV. Maybe these suggestions will tame your expectations?
- I assume you take a notebook to each lesson? Use your music lesson notebook as a diary. Go back & play the assignment from your 1st lesson. From your 5th lesson. Easy or hard? Progress or no? Repeat regularly.
- Find an ensemble lesson or start jamming with friends. There is no need to wait until you think you are ready. You need to see/hear that nobody cares if you can play like Jaco 'if you can't hold no groove'. You need to know how to play simple grooves (R,V) surrounded by other players making music. Flash playing will come soon enough.

Remember the sequence is, roll, sit, crawl, stand, walk, run, ride, drive, fly... The journey can be the best part of the trip. 8-)
 
#4
I understand how you feel, Billy. I've always had the "compulsions" to compare myself to other artists(formerly in drawing, digital arts), and I would immediately get disappointed with myself because I couldn't produce anything like the artists I so admired.

After a period of "self-discovery" I found out that I don't need to compare myself to anyone else - I am myself. And as far as I progress, I will always continue to impress myself. I've played bass for 5 weeks, and I've had lots of moments where I feel discouraged. What kept me going was exactly this thought:

Okay, so I suck now. But if i keep picking up my bass and play for another year, the progress will be remarkable, and I will be truly happy that I continued to pick the bass up and push through the down periods.
 
#5
So, guitar-wise, how do you compare to Steve Vai or Yngwie Malmsteen? Ladies man-wise, how do you compare to Wilt Chamberlain?

Even though individual musical performances are sometimes adjudicated (academically) or critically reviewed (professionally), I have never considered playing music a competetive sport.

Continue your lessons, play, practice, gig, ENJOY! Music is performance art, and I don't condone attempting to rate and compare the relative "goodness" of one artistic performance to another, even though people try to do it.
 
#6
scottbass said:
So, guitar-wise, how do you compare to Steve Vai or Yngwie Malmsteen? Ladies man-wise, how do you compare to Wilt Chamberlain?

Even though individual musical performances are sometimes adjudicated (academically) or critically reviewed (professionally), I have never considered playing music a competetive sport.

Continue your lessons, play, practice, gig, ENJOY! Music is performance art, and I don't condone attempting to rate and compare the relative "goodness" of one artistic performance to another, even though people try to do it.
Click to expand...

Yep, yep, yep.

Ain't no competition. Besides NO ONE else can do what you, personally, can do. So, enjoy it, and revel in it.

It's ok to FEEL GOOD!!:bassist::hyper::bassist:
 
#7
Thanks for all the feedback...to clarify though, it's not so much that I get hung up on comparison as it is feeling so limited in expressing myself.

A big challenge is with this plucking...I know it will come, just need to be patient and keep at it, remembering to keep fun in there....
 
#13
It's definitely a journey. It should be fun one as well. 4 months is nothing, just keep woodsheddin' and one day when you start jammin' to a track you realize "Oh my, I can do this and it sounds goooooood!".

Honestly I think learning comes in jumps rather than gradual development. You just, get it, at some point and start to use it. Sometimes you loose it but it's there and when you find you're in a good mood.

You can never be perfect in an art. I'm just like you, I hate being imperfect but I've learned a lot so far and I probably will for the rest of my life so why bother thinking that you're still not good enough.
 
#14
Only Jerry, that's the spirit.

Have fun at what you do, be happy about all the little improvements you get.

I have found that it comes in waves, sort of, just like kr0n describes it. I have periods where I feel I don't progress at all, but once in a while I get that " hey, look, that wasn't possible before" moment, and then it feels real good.

A couple of days ago, I got a compliment from a non musician, but passionate music lover (I feel they are worth even more), commenting on how "you got more tight with your bass playing lately". Big boost for me, despite I thought otherwise at the time. :)

4 months of bass practice is not much. Bass is very hard to master, even if you play good guitar already.

Instead of thinking "omg, jaco can play those 3 notes so much better than me, I suck", you should think "jay, that's so cool" and just imitate it. You might play them bad at first, but you should play them anyways, and eventually, one day they will work out.

Having a positive attitude towards it is important I think. Don't think "omg, I will have to practice years until I can do that". Focus on your own little steps. One step at a time.

Kafka once said: "Don't waste your time looking for stepping stones, and eventually you will see there aren't any". (badly translated :D )
 
#15
Never compare yourself to others. No two players are alike. For example, take any 5 players, say jaco, jamerson, ray brown, Marcus miller, and Stanley Clarke. All great bassist, yet all very different. Find your own style and dont worry about anyone else. There is no better. Just different.
 
#16
Russell L said:
Fuggetaboutit. I never worry about how good I am or how I compare with anyone else. If anything, I am humble, but not in such a way as to have a low self-image. I mean, come on, where's the fun, man? If I had to sit and very technically define how much expertise I have as a musician, I could honestly say I do ok, but compared to some others I fall wayyy short. The good news is I don't give a @#$%. And besides, what most folks call good isn't what makes a good player in my opinion. I'm into expression, articulation, that is. And more than that, I'm into what playing anything at all does to me inside, how I feel, how it relates to me, how I am saying what I want. Never mind what anyone else is doing. Jamerson, Oakley, Pastorius, Lee, whoever ya want, I don't emulate any of them. They do good at what THEY want to say. Why should that make me want to say what THEY want to say, that's for them, not me. I can only say what I want to say. So, I just get into that. Oh, it's nice to hear others say I'm good, but it doesn't mean anything other than that I appreciate that they feel that way. What is "good" anyway? That's relative to what's inside me, that's all.

So, come on, dude, chin up. It's music. It's YOUR music, no one else's. Enjoy it, get into it, let it take you for a ride.
Click to expand...

This post should be written in bronze and mounted on a wall at the Smithsonian! Well said, Russell! Well said, indeed!! :D
 
#20
Being hard on yourself by 'comparison' is more down to a little confidence thing imo, the guy's you see and admire playing the stuff they play? Don't worry about it, they did more than their fair share of woodshedding to get to that stage. You'll sound like you, they are other people, make it your own. 4 month's is no time, practise the right stuff, get a good tutor and scan some of the tutorials too, you will feel the difference, but you can't have it all at once :)
 

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