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How do you change your Screen Name ?

I changed my username once.
It took great strength and courage as I trekked through the enchanted and dark forest of G'mail.
In the forest I met the civilization of mods as they called themselves.
As I explained my journey I was introduced to a single mod who offered to help.
Kindly he asked, may you bring us a shrubbery in exchange for passage through the forest to meet the all knowing Paul, Then and only then shall you find your true exchange.
I was then told about Paul and that he would be the only one capable of such power to change one's username.
So on I went to gather a fine shrubbery of the finest green coat.
When I returned with the shrubbery it was said to be inefficient and I was sent back for another and another!
Finally upon returning with the third of the shrubbery (the finest of the three only maybe a tad droopy on one side) I was then granted a change of username only to my dismay I was not allowed to meet the great Paul!

Oh well, all is well now I guess, and I am indeed very happy with my username reflecting my real name but still sometimes when the night is late and the moon rides high I still wonder what it might be like to meet the grand and noble Paul.
 
I hear you have to be stripped bare then kneel on the cold stone floor of the Admin moderation forum chamber and be judged.

Well there was that, among other things of course, it's just not really quite as integral to the process as the shrubbery, nor is it really anything outside of my average day, thus the reason I left that out.
It's frigg'n crazy how perfect that thing has to be.

The things I herd of Eric 618 are unheard of!:D