How do you view your band members?

[bluewine]

Reading some of Blue's posts, it got me thinking... I've never even entertained the idea of not being/becoming close friends with my bandmates, but it seems that some people consider their fellow band members to simply be work associates.

How do you guys see your band members?

Great thread!


Thing is, for me, I'll be 60 in a few weeks.

I've been in bands for most of my life. I've been in bands with friend's as close as the neighborhood guys you grow up with back when your parents drove you to gigs.

As you get older your not always on the market for new friends.

With the current band, I've been with them a year. I view them as good , more than fair people.

Outside of band business we don't have much contact. We are business associates. The nice part of this relationship. No drama or what I consider kid stuff.

Yes, we tell jokes and laugh about some of the goofy stuff that happens at gigs, like the photographer that only took pictures of our feet.


Blue

 

[bluewine]

Arthur - He's 24, I'm 49. I love the guy, and I want to see him be successful. Are we friends? I think so. Being that I'm the exact age of his dad, I doubt he considers me a "buddy."

Yeah, it can be a kick in the pants. Like when I found out I was older than our band leaders parents.

Oh well.

Blue

 

[bluewine]

Maybe not so much for younger guys, but think about it.

There have been many threads in BM dealing with things we as bass guitarist look for when were scouting bands.

I don't recall " friends " being a criteria for many.

Blue

 

[bluewine]

It's nice if you develop a friendship but I don't consider it a major concern. As long as they have a professional attitude and are well prepared that's really all that matters.

+1

Blue

 

[bluewine]

I have a blast jamming with them and we fit well together musically. If I could only stay in one band this would be the one. Fun is more important to me than the small amount of $$ I make gigging.

Interesting,

It wasn't until I started gigging every week and making money that the fun began for me.

Blue

 

[bluewine]

A band has never been a "business" for me though. Hell, sometimes it's not even my #1 hobby. Life gets in the way and I feel like I'm lucky to be able to take time to make music when I can.

For some of us music and being in a band is our life.

Blue

 

[SquierJazz72]

I don't want to generalize too much in expanding on my thoughts, as there are exceptions to every rule, but if the band is about primarily playing covers and gigging for pay, then the friendship part isn't necessary, as long as everyone at least gets along and does their job.

For an original band that wants to be creative together and contemplate being on the road, I think friendship becomes more important. I think that's what has kept Rush alive and kicking all these years, through the ups and downs. Not only are they great musicians IMO, but close friends with a deep respect for each other.

The above is just my opinion, so take it with the appropriate grains of salt.

 

[mellowinman]

I don't want to generalize too much in expanding on my thoughts, as there are exceptions to every rule, but if the band is about primarily playing covers and gigging for pay, then the friendship part isn't necessary, as long as everyone at least gets along and does their job.

For an original band that wants to be creative together and contemplate being on the road, I think friendship becomes more important. I think that's what has kept Rush alive and kicking all these years, through the ups and downs. Not only are they great musicians IMO, but close friends with a deep respect for each other.

The above is just my opinion, so take it with the appropriate grains of salt.

Well, keep in mind, some of the best original music was created by partnerships where there was not only friendship, but often disagreement, even animosity. Sometimes we have to challenge each other to get anything worthwhile.

I think of the Toxic Twins (Perry and Tyler,) and the Glimmer Twins (Jagger and Richards) as two great examples.

 

[SquierJazz72]

Well, keep in mind, some of the best original music was created by partnerships where there was not only friendship, but often disagreement, even animosity. Sometimes we have to challenge each other to get anything worthwhile.

I know. And sometimes when there is that friendship, the animosity that sometimes shows can be deeper than if the two weren't friends.

I remember reading Steven Tyler's book and he did say he and Joe Perry often have a very driving love/hate relationship.

 

[mcnach]

Unless it's somebody I already know, I consider a band full of strangers to be co-workers. As with co-workers in any other job, sometimes the relationship evolves into friendship, & sometimes it doesn't.

Exactly what I feel.

 

[Daveydude]

Unless it's somebody I already know, I consider a band full of strangers to be co-workers. As with co-workers in any other job, sometimes the relationship evolves into friendship, & sometimes it doesn't.

This exactly

 

[G On Bass]

My current band:

The Keyboard player and I were strangers and we auditioned into the band and they were all strangers to us.

Others in the band have been friends and/or have worked together for as many as 30 years in varying degrees. Singer and drummer were in a band together, singer and guitarist were in a band together a long time ago, 2 guitarists were in a band together recently.

We all get along great and respect each other. But it's all band-business. We do not hang as a group outside of the band, and really not even after a gig. Not sure what other members do. But I don't feel obligated to 'have' to make friends with them outside the band, as we all have our own families and whatnot. If it evolved into that, then great!

I had a recreational, non-gigging band with friends, and we were awful because we would never tell each other how awful each of us was. Were. Whatever.

 

[JohnMCA72]

Well, keep in mind, some of the best original music was created by partnerships where there was not only friendship, but often disagreement, even animosity. Sometimes we have to challenge each other to get anything worthwhile.

I think of the Toxic Twins (Perry and Tyler,) and the Glimmer Twins (Jagger and Richards) as two great examples.

One of my not-quite-famous-yet sayings: Every pearl started out as an irritation to an oyster.

 

[El Raro]

Definitely close friends. Wouldn't go as far as to say "brothers" but we've shared a lot of experiences together since forming and we've come a long way both as musicians and as people.
But at the same time, we're not the kind of band members who attend social gatherings together everywhere we go. We all have our separate lives and we keep them separate. I don't even think we've all attended each others' birthdays at the same time. We're just not the "hang out" type of people. We do, however, carry on amazingly with each other like best mates and work brilliantly together musically. There's a mutual sense of respect amongst all members.

 

[hernameisrio]

I'm kinda used to work environments where it's easy to become friends with your co-workers. So to me, becoming friends with bandmates seems pretty natural. I mean, my definition of friendship is pretty loose- my current and former bandmates are not necessarily close friends, but it's the kind of thing where we'll talk on Facebook or on the phone, hang out outside of gigs/rehearsals, and keep in touch. Which for me, as an introvert, is good enough...I don't ask for much!

In fact, it's one of the things I appreciate most about being in a band that I think I tend to lose sight of sometimes. There are a few bandmates I've played with who are really, really "all-business," in which case I don't push it. But for the most part, I've been able to hang with at least one of the members of every band I've been in.

 

[tuBass]

In my band, I'm very close to the keyboard player. I married her 17 years ago, and I sleep with her every night.

As for the rest of the band, we're close, but not THAT close, LOL. but I do consider them some of my closest friends and "brothers"

 

[Groovy_Gravy]

Reading some of Blue's posts, it got me thinking... I've never even entertained the idea of not being/becoming close friends with my bandmates, but it seems that some people consider their fellow band members to simply be work associates.

I'm the kind of guy that joins a band BECAUSE of the band relationships you can build. The idea of being a close group touring, playing music, and experiencing life together has always been one of the driving factors in taking my music out of the bedroom.

How do you guys see your band members? Do you form a tight-knit brotherhood (or sisterhood) with your band, or are you simply show-up-and-play coworkers?

Band Members = my main bros.

 

[Bert Slide]

I have had many arrangements ranging from band of brothers to partners in commerce and I much prefer the former. Currently I'm in three bands and in two of them the guitar player is my real biological brother. One is a power trio rock band and our drummer is an old friend. The second is an acoustic variety duo(fools but NO stools haha) with me on DB and my bro on guitar. I recently joined the third band. It's an original roots country trio with guitar and mando and me on DB. I just started doing some touring with them recently and we are becoming more like a band of brothers every day. I wouldn't have gone on the road with them if the chemistry wasn't right.

 

[3mrhythm]

our band is super tight knit.. we hang out together with our wives/fiancees a couple times during the week outside of practice and shows.. we happen to all go to the same church.

our drummer isnt a church kinda guy.. which is total fine and hasnt ever been an issue. Unfortunately he moved to NYC around 9months ago to pursue his singer/songwriter carrer.. we openly hope he fails miserably and comes back because we miss him dearly.

we were able to pick up an alternate drummer that we've all known since early highschool days.

it was really tough when we started entertaining the idea of finding another drummer while ours is away on his little journey.. We view the band like a family. if things dont feel organic in life they wont feel right on stage..

today i saw and played with the guitarist and his wife in church this morning.. went out to breakfast after church.. then he came over to test some new amps i picked up..

then the other guitarist came over after work with his fiancee and then we all went to the first guitarists house for pizza and a good hang session.. so i'd say we are about as close as could be

 

[Helaskold]

Man! I love hearing about how others view their bands. It's so difficult for me to grasp the concept of 3 or more men that really don't like each other that much voluntarily spending so much time together! But when you find the right band, it's just a blast. I see that some of you seem to like your bands very much, and that's great!