How it can actually work

[LBS-bass]

I just had a conversation with one of the bandleaders I've been working with. I had been planning to finish up the current obligations I have with him and give notice because he has been booking early shows lately, and I'm not an early person, and the early shows leave me exposed for double-headers with other bands which, given my autoimmune issues, is not comfortable for me. I need a lot of down time to recover from just one show, and doing two shows in a day when one is very early is a ticket to three days in bed for me.

So... this BL texted me today asking if I was available for another early show. I hadn't wanted to put anything else on the books for them so I told him that I was concerned about doing three early shows in a row (tomorrow, next week, and the week after) with at least one double header squished in there which will likely put me in bed for three days. Nobody ever sees that part, they just see the part where adrenaline is getting me through the show.

To add to my concerns, I am not a morning person and when I know I have to get up early I will be up all night due to stress over it. I do music because it suits me in all ways, including the usual hours. I don't squeeze music in between cracks that don't suit me. And I don't need the money.

So I explained all of that and told him I didn't want them to be turning down jobs they want to do on my account, and maybe it's better for me to suggest that I'm not a good fit if these are the shows they're planning to do moving forward. These are, after all, my own limitations, and it isn't really fair to them to expect them to turn down shows based on what I'm able to comfortably agree to.

We discussed it, and my limitations, and he suggested that he could work harder to get shows in night venues. If I'm asked to do another setup that requires me to leave the house early in the morning, I'm going to tell him he needs to find someone to sub for that show. But we worked it out. He doesn't want me to leave, and I think he will take this on board. I told him I really appreciate the work he's doing to book shows and it's just a matter of me never being asked to do so many early shows before so not really knowing how to fit that into my overall stuff. At the end of all this, we were joking together and it felt good to have that off my chest.

I'm just sharing this because it's a matter of positive communication and we don't always see that here. I'm really happy that it seems we are able to work this out. May it ever be thus!

 

[SoCal80s]

So... when is he firing the drummer??

 

[LBS-bass]

So... when is he firing the drummer??

Not likely. The drummer is pretty good

 

[PaulS]

Nice to have good communication, and have a BL who values what you bring to the group.

 

[hrodbert696]

I just had a conversation with one of the bandleaders I've been working with. I had been planning to finish up the current obligations I have with him and give notice because he has been booking early shows lately, and I'm not an early person, and the early shows leave me exposed for double-headers with other bands which, given my autoimmune issues, is not comfortable for me. I need a lot of down time to recover from just one show, and doing two shows in a day when one is very early is a ticket to three days in bed for me.

So... this BL texted me today asking if I was available for another early show. I hadn't wanted to put anything else on the books for them so I told him that I was concerned about doing three early shows in a row (tomorrow, next week, and the week after) with at least one double header squished in there which will likely put me in bed for three days. Nobody ever sees that part, they just see the part where adrenaline is getting me through the show.

To add to my concerns, I am not a morning person and when I know I have to get up early I will be up all night due to stress over it. I do music because it suits me in all ways, including the usual hours. I don't squeeze music in between cracks that don't suit me. And I don't need the money.

So I explained all of that and told him I didn't want them to be turning down jobs they want to do on my account, and maybe it's better for me to suggest that I'm not a good fit if these are the shows they're planning to do moving forward. These are, after all, my own limitations, and it isn't really fair to them to expect them to turn down shows based on what I'm able to comfortably agree to.

We discussed it, and my limitations, and he suggested that he could work harder to get shows in night venues. If I'm asked to do another setup that requires me to leave the house early in the morning, I'm going to tell him he needs to find someone to sub for that show. But we worked it out. He doesn't want me to leave, and I think he will take this on board. I told him I really appreciate the work he's doing to book shows and it's just a matter of me never being asked to do so many early shows before so not really knowing how to fit that into my overall stuff. At the end of all this, we were joking together and it felt good to have that off my chest.

I'm just sharing this because it's a matter of positive communication and we don't always see that here. I'm really happy that it seems we are able to work this out. May it ever be thus!

Glad to hear the communication in the band is good. That's precious. What I was wondering is, can you simply black out days you have night gigs booked, if double headers are bad for your health? And, related to that, can the band get a sub for you for the early gigs on those days?

[EDIT: just realized in your last paragraph that the idea of getting a sub is out there.]

 

[MattZilla]

May it ever be thus!

 

[LBS-bass]

Glad to hear the communication in the band is good. That's precious. What I was wondering is, can you simply black out days you have night gigs booked, if double headers are bad for your health? And, related to that, can the band get a sub for you for the early gigs on those days?

[EDIT: just realized in your last paragraph that the idea of getting a sub is out there.]

I could, and should, but what happens is these early shows get booked first and then the other bandleader will beg me to do a night show, which I find hard to refuse, since he's been working hard to make all these connections and technically I am available. It wouldn't be so much pressure on a person without this chronic illness. It's a frustration right now for him since I'm not the only one in his band who is in multiple bands, so he's juggling dates, and one venue in particular keeps shifting our dates around which is setting up additional conflicts because they're just arbitrarily moving us to dates when we aren't available. I guess they haven't figured out how this all works, but we just had to tell that venue to forget about booking us because they've rescheduled us three times now for dates that weren't convenient.

Ironically, I came into this first band (the one in my OP) as a sub because I am starting to get wary of bands in general, since there's always some flakiness that reveals itself eventually. But they never needed to hire anyone else because back then I was always available and our shows were better. He's scrambling to get whatever he can right now and I'm just not really up to playing all these dinky shows. Here I am up at 5:00 in the morning to get ready to drive an hour and be set up by 10:00.

 

[Bass Viking]

I'm just sharing this because it's a matter of positive communication and we don't always see that here. I'm really happy that it seems we are able to work this out. May it ever be thus!

True. But where’s the fun in that? I come to Band Management for the drama and conflict. That’s entertainment!

But seriously, it’s great that you let the BL know where you stand and prevent problems from occurring in the first place.

 

[LBS-bass]

But where’s the fun in that?

I know. I figured this post wouldn't get much play

 

[Bunk McNulty]

I had a somewhat similar situation last summer, when an outdoor gig turned into a studio-broadcast gig with no masks, no social distancing, no nothin'. I backed out of it, and then said I wasn't willing to do any indoor stuff. Remember, this is around the time we were all being told that the worst thing you could do was be in a closed space with someone singing loudly! I thought about it for a couple days, then decided to fire myself--I didn't want to stand in the way of paying work for everybody else. My BL, bless her heart, just said "Let me know when you're ready to come back." And now I am back, and happily so.

P.S.: A significant portion of the "drama" on this board seems either obvious or foolish. So much fear of confrontation! Ain't nothin' like face-to-face when it comes to solving problems.

 

[trevcda]

Congratulations on the great communication! Seems to be missing in so many situations, including mine. Slightly off topic, if not a complete tangent; what are these early shows? I've done a one off here and there, usually a industry restaurant/food show or something similar that early AM local news wants to cover before the doors open, but those were few and far between.

 

[Koog]

Good on you, LBS, for finding a positive way of communicating with your BL about this, finding good solutions, and remaining friends. Most of all, good on you for prioritizing your health and being good to yourself.

Best wishes.

Koog

 

[LBS-bass]

Good on you, LBS, for finding a positive way of communicating with your BL about this, finding good solutions, and remaining friends. Most of all, good on you for prioritizing your health and being good to yourself.

Best wishes.

Koog

Thanks. I believe that communication is so important in all situations, but it's really apparent to me that a lot of people are uneasy with confrontation. I am too, but ultimately I'd rather get things on the table than to let things fester and get ugly with miscommunication, which builds a dysfunctional dynamic that can be hard to overcome once in place.

I am accused of being blunt, or even difficult, because I speak my mind and expect the same courtesy from others, but often don't get it. It's ok because it shows me where I should be spending my energy and where I am wasting my time.

 

[JW56789]

So fortunate, and so uncommon. GOOD for you, how often I rarely if ever felt valued.

All the Best,

JW

 

[electracoyote]

Good on you and the BL.

BL's have to anticipate these situations and find solutions. If the project can wiggle, so be it. If the project needs to find alternates, so be it.

In short, your post is an example of mutual professionalism involving your candor and objective problem solving.

 

[Sid Fang]

Glad to hear your BL is being more understanding than most. Never heard you mention that you ever teach bass, but this is one of those situations where having a protégée or apprentice could be really useful, both to cover dates that would overload you and maybe help with the occasional early setup.

 

[bolophonic]

How early are we talking on these daytime shows? I would LOVE to be able to gig during the day.

 

[Deleted member 165050]

To add to my concerns, I am not a morning person and when I know I have to get up early I will be up all night due to stress over it.

I know this scenario, I am borderline nocturnal and have never been able to fit into the 9am (or earlier) routine. And like you if I have to get up early I will fail to sleep for worrying about getting up early. Amazing how few people can understand that.

 

[51PRI]

I just had a conversation with one of the bandleaders I've been working with. I had been planning to finish up the current obligations I have with him and give notice because he has been booking early shows lately, and I'm not an early person, and the early shows leave me exposed for double-headers with other bands which, given my autoimmune issues, is not comfortable for me. I need a lot of down time to recover from just one show, and doing two shows in a day when one is very early is a ticket to three days in bed for me.

So... this BL texted me today asking if I was available for another early show. I hadn't wanted to put anything else on the books for them so I told him that I was concerned about doing three early shows in a row (tomorrow, next week, and the week after) with at least one double header squished in there which will likely put me in bed for three days. Nobody ever sees that part, they just see the part where adrenaline is getting me through the show.

To add to my concerns, I am not a morning person and when I know I have to get up early I will be up all night due to stress over it. I do music because it suits me in all ways, including the usual hours. I don't squeeze music in between cracks that don't suit me. And I don't need the money.

So I explained all of that and told him I didn't want them to be turning down jobs they want to do on my account, and maybe it's better for me to suggest that I'm not a good fit if these are the shows they're planning to do moving forward. These are, after all, my own limitations, and it isn't really fair to them to expect them to turn down shows based on what I'm able to comfortably agree to.

We discussed it, and my limitations, and he suggested that he could work harder to get shows in night venues. If I'm asked to do another setup that requires me to leave the house early in the morning, I'm going to tell him he needs to find someone to sub for that show. But we worked it out. He doesn't want me to leave, and I think he will take this on board. I told him I really appreciate the work he's doing to book shows and it's just a matter of me never being asked to do so many early shows before so not really knowing how to fit that into my overall stuff. At the end of all this, we were joking together and it felt good to have that off my chest.

I'm just sharing this because it's a matter of positive communication and we don't always see that here. I'm really happy that it seems we are able to work this out. May it ever be thus!

I'm curious as to how early these early shows are and where they are, and why so many?

 

[two fingers]

You're in a band with grownups too???? Feels good, don't it?

I recently turned down a great gig because an old friend is going to he in town. Nobody blinked. They're all fine. Nobody died. The show WILL go on.... with some other band playing it.

I have never understood why bands take themselves so seriously.