- Dec 21, 2007
- 15,231
- 45,100
- Disclosures
- Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
How it can actually work
- Thread starter LBS-bass
- Start date
You understand that everyone in the band is affected by you asserting yourself. And you are considerate of the other folks the band. If they can't or won't reciprocate your consideration, move on. Fortunately, your bandleader understands all these micro-dynamics and has some sense and compassion. So you work it out and it's a long term win-win.
How grown up and professional of you all. Congrats. Plus, you're modeling good behavior for your bandmates. Maybe they'll grow some from their exposure to your and your BL's ability to act like adults and craft solutions for the benefit of everyone.
Sid's suggestiion of developing a protégé/sub is a good one, too. That would be a nice card to have in your hand. Another win-win in the making?
How grown up and professional of you all. Congrats. Plus, you're modeling good behavior for your bandmates. Maybe they'll grow some from their exposure to your and your BL's ability to act like adults and craft solutions for the benefit of everyone.
Sid's suggestiion of developing a protégé/sub is a good one, too. That would be a nice card to have in your hand. Another win-win in the making?
must be some serious chat between some serious musicians in some grownup way!who knew?
is this a whining thread?
Just a little empathy from someone on the other side of the illness. I am caregiver to two in my family: 30 years helping out my wife, and the last 15 or so helping out my daughter. I hope I can outlive them both so they can have the help they deserve throughout. Sounds perverse (?), but that's how you think sometimes.
Happy to hear you've worked out an arrangement that works!
I am aware of your struggles and wish you the very best!
Congratulations on getting it worked out. You are always helpful with some of the best advice regarding band situations, so it does not surprise me to see how well you communicate with your bandmates. Props to you for thinking of the bands, but you gotta take care of you. Pacing is an important strategy, but hard when everyone wants you!
—Autoimmune diseases can be difficult for people to understand. I am in the health care industry and even I didn’t realize how unpredictable they can be…until my wife developed one.
Before, she was a bundle of energy that would wear me out trying to keep up with her. But now, I often have to remind her to pace herself, take naps, etc….otherwise, she will be in bed for days.
One thing that helped her manage symptoms better was changing to a strict “anti inflammatory diet” and doing very moderate to mild exercise at least 5-6 days a week. She has always been vegetarian (was raised that way), but was an intense exercise fanatic before. Now she exercises enough to feel a little energized, but not until she feels exhausted.
Also, taking naps when she needs them, as well as breaking up physically exhausting tasks into not so exhausting “chunks.” For example, she loves doing yard work…so instead of mowing the yard all at once, she mows half in the morning and the other half in the late afternoon or even the next day.
With the lifestyle changes, her symptoms are much more predictable/consistent. But even so, occasionally she still just has a bad day where she feels terrible.
Anyway, sounds like you’re band is willing to work with you. So, you’re good there. But don’t be afraid to speak up again, if they start booking too much. You can always split the duties with another bassist. I did that for a friend when he just needed a break. He even came and watched me play a couple of times.
Good stuff and congrats! Too bad that open and clear communication isn't more common, so that more problems could get resolved this easily and without drama.
I also have a significant auto immune disorder as well as a demanding full time square day gig. Summer pre covid, a S/S I was working with asked me to do a late afternoon festival gig 90 mins away on a day I was working. This was followed by another hr drive and a headline gig, again outdoors, in the evening. Add the hour drive home, all the load in/outs, getting up at 6am, working my square gig before that, and the sun and oppressive heat (my meds make me very susceptible to either), meant I was absolutely destroyed the next morning and had to go to work again.
As you say the adrenaline keeps you going (and will last until I sleep in my case), but that doesn't help in the days that follow. Working for that outfit imploded for unrelated reasons shortly after, so I never had to have the discussion with them. I learned where my limits were that day. When presented I definitely wanted to make it work as it sounded like fun, and of course festival and headline gigs don't pay too badly either. Live and learn.
I also have a significant auto immune disorder as well as a demanding full time square day gig. Summer pre covid, a S/S I was working with asked me to do a late afternoon festival gig 90 mins away on a day I was working. This was followed by another hr drive and a headline gig, again outdoors, in the evening. Add the hour drive home, all the load in/outs, getting up at 6am, working my square gig before that, and the sun and oppressive heat (my meds make me very susceptible to either), meant I was absolutely destroyed the next morning and had to go to work again.
As you say the adrenaline keeps you going (and will last until I sleep in my case), but that doesn't help in the days that follow. Working for that outfit imploded for unrelated reasons shortly after, so I never had to have the discussion with them. I learned where my limits were that day. When presented I definitely wanted to make it work as it sounded like fun, and of course festival and headline gigs don't pay too badly either. Live and learn.
Early for me means something like today, where I got up at 5 in order to take the meds I need to take in order to get functional, drink coffee while I wait to get functional, get breakfast, make sure I have everything packed up, straighten my hair, do my makeup, and get out the door by 9:00 to set up at 10:00 an hour away. If I didn't need to get right with the meds, I could probably get up at 7 and do it. Hair and makeup takes at least an hour; that assumes I didn't need a shower, too. I started the pretty-up routine at 7:30 after the meds and coffee had kicked in. It's still more time than most guys need and most guys don't ever take it into consideration. Y'all can just roll out of bed and go.
Thanks, I really appreciate the understanding. So many people have no idea.
The one today was a Fourth of July celebration at a rural location that started early and went until 3. Not as early as the others, which are, in fact, farmer's markets. I hate those kinds of shows with my whole being and haven't played anything like that since I was first starting out, so it's disappointing that this BL has been spending so much time trying to book those kinds of shows.
Last edited:
I don't get it, either. I get that bandleaders who are booking shows do put in a bit of effort toward that, and it can get frustrating when people aren't available for offered dates, etc. But that's part of the package. I keep telling my bandleaders that if you want to avoid conflicts you need to get out ahead and book dates a few months out, instead of trying to take all these last minute things we seem to be getting offered. I'm not in a hurry and far more likely to be available for dates in September and October right now.
I hate those kinds of shows, too. There is absolutely no chance to get a crowd going, forget about dancing, and little more than hope for anything other than being a living juke box. No satisfaction whatsoever.
Exactly. Those kinds of gigs are for singer-songwriter duos or trios that are just starting out and need opportunities to refine their chops together. This is a freaking LOUD AS HE!! blues band with decent chops, we don't need this gig, and I can't even wait to see how well this goes over
Good times </sarcasm>.
Last edited:
And yet...there's a true story I like to tell.
Pinole is a small suburban town in the San Francisco Bay area, the sort of place that Goffin and King wrote "Another Pleasant Valley Sunday" to celebrate. Going back to at least the 1970s, the town has held an annual "Summer Fun Fair" in a park near the town center, where there would be activities for kids, food stalls, and live music. At some point circa 1978, the organizers promised an up-and-coming local rock band that if they played for free, the city would at least guarantee advance publicity, etc., to make it worth their while. Yeah, one of those gigs. But the city didn't live up to their promise to the band - or so the story goes. And that stuck in the craw of some of their friends, who happened to also be my friends. For the 1980 edition of the Pinole Summer Fun Fair, as an act of vengeance, they signed up an imaginary band called "Sweetwater", which they claimed was a mellow, "contemporary FM" act, to play the Fun Fair early on Sunday morning. But "Sweetwater" was just a tongue-in-cheek code name for the real imaginary band, Jim Jones and the People's Temple, which was anything but a mellow acoustic act.
I was not part of the lineup for the opening number, and I happened to be in the middle of the Fair when the opening, out-of-tune chords came crashing across the park. Every head turned as one toward the stage as one, slack-jawed. The fair organizers ran up to the guy running the PA board, asking him to turn down the band. But he was in on the joke, and swore that it was all the stage amp mix, and there was nothing he could do - which wasn't quite true. It was wonderful. The singer had pumped himself up with way too much hard alcohol for so early in the morning and was in full punk rant mode. A keyboard player had built a simple synth for the occasion out of spare parts attached to a piece of wooden plank, which he proceeded to chop to pieces as part of the show, while I did my best to hit a wild note on the bass sync'ed with each blow of the hatchet. At the end of the set, some of the guys threw packets of grape Kool-aid out to the audience, each with a little sticker "Compliments of Jim Jones and the People's Temple".
Elements of the Oakland Raiderette cheerleading squad were there that morning for photo ops, but for some reason they didn't want to be photographed with us.
Musically, it was far from the best thing I've been involved in, but I'm still very proud to have been a part of it. As I put it to one of the Pinole guys who couldn't figure out why I was so motivated to participate, it's not every day you get the chance to terrorize a small American town with rock'n'roll.
It was also the first gig where I ever used the stage name "Sid Fang".
Last edited:
Seems like a very calm level headed approach. No drama. No back stabbing. I’m surprised…thought you were a musician. Haha.
Congrats on working it out. Good stuff.
Congrats on working it out. Good stuff.
