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How long to give a disappeared member

#43
BklynKen said:
Read back in the thread. We've called and texted.
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You've called once and left a voicemail. Surely there's a time you can almost guarantee to get him? like before he goes to work, around dinner time, etc.? lots of people don't check their voicemail (I know I don't) and the text could have been seen at an inconvenient time and forgotten. One call and one text isn't really trying over the amount of time he's been MIA.
 
#46
Raymeous said:
It could be one of those "moms in the hospital things".

At this point I would be discussing with the drummer about starting a new band. Do NOT touch any of the existing material, just start fresh. If MIA shows back up you two can decide whether or not you want to keep the existing band going or not.

I would avoid sending any hate mail just yet but a friendly toned text about "How are things going? Anything we can do to help?" Tell him/her up front that you and drummer are looking to start a new project simply because you want to keep playing.
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+1
 
#49
I know every musician in Bklyn. Tell me his name and I'll tell you what's up. :)

A coupla years ago I went on vacation and got some kid I knew and trusted to stay at my apartment to watch after my 2 cats. Went on a cruise where I had no reception, and then to Fla for a few days. When I got to Fla I called to see how things were going. No outgoing message on his vioicemail, no response. Texted. Nothing. Emailed. Nothing. 2nd day. Called a guy I knew in his band. Was told he cancelled a gig last minute a few days earlier and couldn't say why, but said it wasn't good. He done disappeared. Nobody knew where he went. I was a mess. Finally, I get a call.

He got locked up.

Moral of the story... it happens. PS on this, he had to ditch his phone because of the info on it and the charges against him. He also got his girl to tend for my cats, but I guess had too much going on to think to tell her to contact me.

Iffin I were in your shoes I'd hit the guy up one more time with every possible connection (phone, text, email, facebook) and say, "Dude, obviously we're concerned. if you don't want to do this any more please just let us know, no worries if so. We'd like to proceed but not sure which way to go. If he doesn't get back to you in 3 days, move on.
 
#50
BklynKen said:
So I started playing with a singer/guitarist at the end of Nov. We came up with some great songs, and even more after we found a drummer a couple of months later. A little over a month after finding the drummer, we played out for the first time. We had seven original songs. Went well. That was March 8. That was the last time we saw the singer/guitarist, and the last communication was a text message from him a few days later, just answering my question about a new song's title. We haven't heard from him since. I'm getting impatient and want to get back on track. Trying to figure out how long is reasonable to give. I think we were building something really good. But unless he's dead or in a coma, I think this is really uncool and disrespectful to me and the drummer. Even if you're having some serious problems, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask to get a simple message asking to give you a couple of weeks or whatnot.

Thanks.
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Yeah, that's long enough. Start moving on. He might have legitimate reasons. He might be a flake. Either way, you're in the dark about it, band progress has halted, and the remaining members want to move forward. I'd give him one more round of calls/text and explain you guys are moving on and why.
Good luck.
 
#53
Melonthief said:
......Maybe you were imagining him? Lost at sea? Maybe he was imagining you?
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really could be this.. ^^^

Like a fightclub scenario. that would be crazy. Maybe everytime you call, its your number your dialing, and thats why nobody answers..its busy, ..cuz your on the fone.. wow. I think were gettin somewhere. did you perform an acoustic gig..alone?.. :hmm:

But reallyy, how did the gig go? HONESTLY? not just feelin cool cuz it was a gig. Did you and the drummer suck and he was soo embarressed he cldnt bear to be seen with you ?

I've had some wacky internet dates..and I was nice enough to finish the date.(cuz Im a nice guy like that) but holy mother of pearl..cldnt wait to get out..never to return. ;)



( unless of course if hes sick /dead/jail anything like that..but really)

I'm thinkin the most liley scenario is he dumped you guys.
Did he leave any gear behind? a guitar cable wouldnt be enuff for me to go back after runnin away from a sucky date.But if he has his amp at your house..maybe check some local hospitals.

That or the alien abduction scenario...
 
#56
Abducted by a cult called Afton. They recruit young musicians to go out and convince club owners and bands that bands should be paying to play. Then one day when there's no live music anymore the cult of Afton will have a mass suicide.
 

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