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How to "be" smart
- Thread starter Floating teetH
- Start date
i like "nevertheless." and "aforementioned."
also, as a speaker and writer of british english and living in the US, i like how angry people get when i spell words like 'favourite', 'colour','neighbour', etc. they're like "learn how to spell, b***h!" ahh, good times...
otherwise, my stupidity is always on display.
also, as a speaker and writer of british english and living in the US, i like how angry people get when i spell words like 'favourite', 'colour','neighbour', etc. they're like "learn how to spell, b***h!" ahh, good times...
otherwise, my stupidity is always on display.
As the family know-it-all (hey someone in the family was bound to end up with their PhD eventually, right?), I often catch the brunt of jokes. My mother-in-law got me this book one year, and it is a hoot! It's called Everything You Pretend to Know and Are Afraid Someone Will Ask.
It has different sections, and litterally gives brief explanations of different topics. Here is a sampling of the topics:
What is neofacism? Is it different from facism?
What was the Reformation?
Why are elections held on Tuesdays?
What is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?
What is a calorie?
What do water filters filter out?
What is an ox?
This is another book someone got for me. It's called Do Penguins Have Knees? It is what is called an imponderables book, and is pretty clever. It poses a question, and then gives an answer. Some examples of the questions:
What does the USPS do with mail it can't deliver or return because of lack of a return address?
What's the difference between a lake and a pond?
What happens to you social security number when you die? How and when, if ever, is it reassigned?
Why does grease turn white when it cools?
Very cool books!!! Some good laughs, and interesting reading.
It has different sections, and litterally gives brief explanations of different topics. Here is a sampling of the topics:
What is neofacism? Is it different from facism?
What was the Reformation?
Why are elections held on Tuesdays?
What is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?
What is a calorie?
What do water filters filter out?
What is an ox?
This is another book someone got for me. It's called Do Penguins Have Knees? It is what is called an imponderables book, and is pretty clever. It poses a question, and then gives an answer. Some examples of the questions:
What does the USPS do with mail it can't deliver or return because of lack of a return address?
What's the difference between a lake and a pond?
What happens to you social security number when you die? How and when, if ever, is it reassigned?
Why does grease turn white when it cools?
Very cool books!!! Some good laughs, and interesting reading.
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Ah, some great questions. Along the same lines, but with a wonderfully bent sense of humor, is Link Removed. Some of the questions he answers:
What are the real lyrics to "Louie, Louie"?
Is it true what they say about Catherine the Great and the horse?
Does the Vatican really have the world's largest pornography collection?
What are the nine Eskimo words for snow?
Why do men have nipples?
What does the 'H' stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
Why do pigeons bob their heads?
Why does lint collect in your navel?
If all one billion Chinese got up on chairs and jumped off at the same time, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?
How did they get Mr. Ed to talk?
Did brontosauri really have a second brain in their behinds?
What is a mojo, anyway?
Is it true Thanksgiving was invented by the editor of Harper's Bazaar?
Why do your fingers and toes wrinkle in the bathtub?
Is it true turkeys are so dumb they will look up at the sky when it rains and drown?
How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space?
How can they have Interstate highways in Hawaii?
Can people really hear radio broadcasts through their teeth?
Is there a place called Podunk?
What does Queen Elizabeth carry in that purse?
Who decided we have to put up yellow ribbons every time there's a war?
What was Barney Rubble's job?
So how do porcupines mate?
More wonderful questions that everyone wants the answer... whoops, I mean to which everyone wants the answer. Whew! Avoided the dangling preposition.
What are the real lyrics to "Louie, Louie"?
Is it true what they say about Catherine the Great and the horse?
Does the Vatican really have the world's largest pornography collection?
What are the nine Eskimo words for snow?
Why do men have nipples?
What does the 'H' stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
Why do pigeons bob their heads?
Why does lint collect in your navel?
If all one billion Chinese got up on chairs and jumped off at the same time, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?
How did they get Mr. Ed to talk?
Did brontosauri really have a second brain in their behinds?
What is a mojo, anyway?
Is it true Thanksgiving was invented by the editor of Harper's Bazaar?
Why do your fingers and toes wrinkle in the bathtub?
Is it true turkeys are so dumb they will look up at the sky when it rains and drown?
How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space?
How can they have Interstate highways in Hawaii?
Can people really hear radio broadcasts through their teeth?
Is there a place called Podunk?
What does Queen Elizabeth carry in that purse?
Who decided we have to put up yellow ribbons every time there's a war?
What was Barney Rubble's job?
So how do porcupines mate?
More wonderful questions that everyone wants the answer... whoops, I mean to which everyone wants the answer. Whew! Avoided the dangling preposition.
Rakie
Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...
Finally... A reason to visit the Vatican...
Hrmm, I don't dig the Man on boy porn man.
To get this thread back on topic, i think this should be called: How to "seem" smart.
Hrmm, I don't dig the Man on boy porn man.
To get this thread back on topic, i think this should be called: How to "seem" smart.
Hmmmm, maybe I read "large" wrong...
jive1
Commercial User
I have it easy.
All I have to do is neglect to comb my hair, throw on some glasses, and speak with an accent and I can get a job at most engineering firms and science labs. In the worst case scenario, I can TA for some college math course.
All I have to do is neglect to comb my hair, throw on some glasses, and speak with an accent and I can get a job at most engineering firms and science labs. In the worst case scenario, I can TA for some college math course.
