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How to respectfully turn down free drinks
- Thread starter bulldean
- Start date
I don't think this deserves a respectful reply. You didn't ask to have beer placed near your gear, and yourself. Would suck to spill beer on pedals. Would suck worse to step on what was once stage but is now 4 beer glasses and you fall and injur yourself. I'm gonna guess annoying beer groupie guy isn't gonna be worth much. I would begin the process of complete disengagement. Ya definitely talk to staff but stop pretending that guy is a person. They are not treating you like one. They want attention. Give them none.
Yep, a lemon or a lime wedge makes it look like a mixed drink. Ginger ale on the rocks looks like whiskey and soda. I hate shots, and I hate it when well-meaning fans buy them. I usually try to pour them out in the rest room.
Almost everybody is assuming that OP"s band members do not want to drink alcohol. I read it differently: they don't want to be seen associated with that person, to be mistaken for his friends. I'm not sure if "thanks but I don't drink" will work. The problem is the same if he brings non alcoholic drinks, isn't it?
As someone hinted previous page, it would be better to give details on what "bad reputation" means.
As someone hinted previous page, it would be better to give details on what "bad reputation" means.
Saw this in a movie, I think.
Order a shot and a beer. Take the shot (but don’t swallow) and spit it back into the (empty) beer bottle. Looks like you’re chasing ten shots of whiskey with a beer. And still played like you were stine cold sober.
Now that’s boss!!
Order a shot and a beer. Take the shot (but don’t swallow) and spit it back into the (empty) beer bottle. Looks like you’re chasing ten shots of whiskey with a beer. And still played like you were stine cold sober.
Now that’s boss!!
Really? It's come to this?
What happened to us just saying "no thanks Bruddah, I gotta keep playing, so that You can keep having FUN."
Social media, and fear of reaction has made COMMUNICATION such a sad thing.
I'm being REALLY F'N HONEST here. No apologies.
What happened to us just saying "no thanks Bruddah, I gotta keep playing, so that You can keep having FUN."
Social media, and fear of reaction has made COMMUNICATION such a sad thing.
I'm being REALLY F'N HONEST here. No apologies.
Always look on the bright side of life. At least he's not trying to mooch drinks on the band's bar tab 
Your problem seems to be that this guy is buying the band drinks in order to buy their friendship and get to hang with them during breaks and probably after the show, not just the alcoholic nature of said drinks.
It looks like the band does not like hanging with him as much as he does like mingling with them. Is he attending your shows alone or is he in company?
However, at one point you will have to let him know that you don’t want him around all the time. The free drinks will then stop automatically.
It looks like the band does not like hanging with him as much as he does like mingling with them. Is he attending your shows alone or is he in company?
However, at one point you will have to let him know that you don’t want him around all the time. The free drinks will then stop automatically.
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"Hey, thank you so much!! i gotta tell you, I'm getting on a program because of some problems I've been having, so I can't take that but someone here definitely can. I appreciate you but for the foreseeable future, I'm going non-alcoholic. If the offer's still up, I'd crush a cranberry juice and tonic my brother. Thank you!"
I thankfully haven't been the audience member with heavy drinking problems, but had once offered a wonderfully kind fellow bassist a round, and he gave me something along those lines, definitely very paraphrased lol. It told me he really wanted to be nice about it but was riding the wagon with dedication. I got him a cranberry tonic.
For a very drunk patron or friend offering, maybe "Man thanks but Idunno if I can even stand right now! Tell you what, I'll love you for 4158 years if you got me a big ol' glass of water my bro" and you might get good results.
I feel like with consistency, even if you've already been consistent lol, you can get the homie to take it down a notch with some work and polite pressure. And as noted, I've been the one making a drink offer, but once I knew that cat didn't partake as of present, I knew to offer something like a tonic & cherry.
While I do still engage in said activity to a limited extent, I've politely redirected a number of drinks offered me, no problems ensuing. In a lot of places, sobriety awareness is getting more mainstream and I support it.
I thankfully haven't been the audience member with heavy drinking problems, but had once offered a wonderfully kind fellow bassist a round, and he gave me something along those lines, definitely very paraphrased lol. It told me he really wanted to be nice about it but was riding the wagon with dedication. I got him a cranberry tonic.
For a very drunk patron or friend offering, maybe "Man thanks but Idunno if I can even stand right now! Tell you what, I'll love you for 4158 years if you got me a big ol' glass of water my bro" and you might get good results.
I feel like with consistency, even if you've already been consistent lol, you can get the homie to take it down a notch with some work and polite pressure. And as noted, I've been the one making a drink offer, but once I knew that cat didn't partake as of present, I knew to offer something like a tonic & cherry.
While I do still engage in said activity to a limited extent, I've politely redirected a number of drinks offered me, no problems ensuing. In a lot of places, sobriety awareness is getting more mainstream and I support it.
No, the band works for the audience, and I work for the band. The bar benefits by having the audience show up. The band makes that happen. It's symbiotic, not hierarchical.
I think that you've taken the working relationship one level of abstraction too far, but that's your story. The only exceptions I can think of are where the bar has a house band (permanent contractual arrangement) or "artist in residence" (temporary contractual arrangement).
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This, among many other factors, led me to stop playing in bars almost entirely. There are plenty of other venues where I live, thankfully.
OMG, I quaffed many bottles of OB and Crown back in the late 70s. I remember when Isenbeck (locally brewed version of an actual German beer) came out and it was much better, but still not up to even the worst American lagers, never mind European lagers and pilsners.
I must be doing something wrong... in the entire time I've been playing, I don't believe an audience member has bought me a drink.
Maybe, the owner of the venue, once or twice... there was that one time during load out, where I 'shared' a Colt 45 with a homeless dude, but he wasn't an audience member, per se.
Come to think of it, his name might have been Percy.
Maybe, the owner of the venue, once or twice... there was that one time during load out, where I 'shared' a Colt 45 with a homeless dude, but he wasn't an audience member, per se.
Come to think of it, his name might have been Percy.
