• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Humorous yet meaninful quotes

C

curbowkid

Jun 27, 2011
1,779
12
Brooklyn, New York
#1
Feel free to ad your own!

"a father bull and his son are sitting on top of a mountain over looking a field of cows. The son says "hey dad let's run down there and **** one of those cows!" to which the father bull calmly replies "no, let's walk down there and **** all of them"
-co worker
 
#3
curbowkid said:
Feel free to ad your own!

"a father bull and his son are sitting on top of a mountain over looking a field of cows. The son says "hey dad let's run down there and **** one of those cows!" to which the father bull calmly replies "no, let's walk down there and **** all of them"
-co worker
Click to expand...



That was from the movie 'Colors'
 
#7
"If ignorance is bliss...why aren't more people happy?"
- Anon.

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels"
-Groucho Marx

"No pleasure in life is worth giving up for a few extra years in the nursing home"
-Rumpole of the Bailey

[on being asked by reporters if he had reported his wife's stolen credit card to the police]
"Oh, hell no! Whoever stole it is spending less than her."
-Ilie Nastasie

"There are no stupid questions... only stupid people who ask questions"
- Chris Berman

"If a tree falls in the woods, how many liberals would it take to find therapy for all the trees around it?"
--Bucky Cat

davesignatureII-1.png

ps- edit-

fhm555 said:
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are NOT after you.
Click to expand...

or, as Henry Kissinger said, "even paranoids have enemies"

"I know I'm paranoid, but i'm worried that i'm not paranoid enough"
 
#9
"It's extraordinary how potent cheap music is." - Noel Coward

"A good composer is slowly discovered; a bad composer is slowly found out." - Ernest Newman

"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves." - Dorothy Parker

"A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping." - Kenneth Tynan

"Sooner or later we all quote our mothers." - Bern Williams

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward." - Lewis Carroll

"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." - Gustave Flaubert
 
#11
P. Aaron said:
Lady Astor: "Sir Winston, you are drunk". Winston Churchill; "My Lady, I may be drunk but you are ugly. In the morning, I will be sober but, you will still be ugly".
Click to expand...

I do love that one :D

Another funny one:

Lady Astor to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea," to which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"


"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"

I do not know where the quote originated from, but it's fairly on the mark!
 
#17
Here's a few that are always guaranteed to make me smile... ;)

Hell is other people.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you may have underestimated the seriousness of the situation.

Life’s ***, and then you die.

A psychotic is a guy who’s just found out what’s going on.

They told me to smile, because things could be worse. So I smiled, and things got worse.

That light you see at the end of the tunnel? It’s a great big express train, heading your way fast.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back