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I am NOT "your" bassist

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by JimmyM, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    I see this all the time on here and other places, and I just saw a couple posts on here that made me have to post this thread...

    People refer to other guys in their bands as "my guitarist" or "my bassist" or whatever, and I cringe every time I see it. If there's anything that gets my goat, it's being referred to as someone's bassist by another person in the band. I once got into a big backstage shouting match with a famous guy who will remain nameless because he called me "his" bassist onstage (not Bowzer, BTW).

    So let's get this clear...I am not anyone's bassist. Do not refer to me as your bassist at any time ever. You do not own me just because you're renting me for a few hours. If you want to refer to me as "our" bassist, that's fine. But I highly resent someone trying to put themselves over as the big shot by calling me their bassist. That's all it is...a big power play.

    I've had people tell me it's a sign of comraderie. Bullcrap. It's a power play. Well, how much power over me will you have when I bail on your ass?

    Anyway, YMMV, but I hate it and had to say something. Chances are someone in your band hates it, too. So if you're compelled to refer to your bandmates as "my _____er," you may want to think twice about that.
  2. jgroh

    jgroh Supporting Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    Can I call them my bitch? =)
  3. JoshB

    JoshB A great man is always willing to be little. -RWE Supporting Member

    Wow...bad day there Jimmy?

  4. Wow- sorry you feel that way, Jimmy. Being barely more than a hobbyist, my opinion/POV will be vastly different, but I take it as a compliment when my favorite drummer refers to me as *his* bass player, & vice-versa, I believe(this is the only situation where the term is used regularly, IME). Again- I'm sure it would be different if I had more truly professional experience.
  5. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Jgroh and Josh, ha ha.
  6. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    I always refer to bandmates as "our"....... player.
  7. I call the guitarist in my band as "my guitarist" to outsiders, because it's shorter than saying "the guitarist in the band that I play in". He does the same. It's not a power play IMO, just economy of language. It IS a power play if the pther person intends it, but IME they dont. It's just common speak.
  8. RDW


    Feb 5, 2008
    Right on, my man.... oh, uh,

    ...our man??? :)

    All kidding aside, it irks me too. I much prefer "the ______ player in our band."
  9. jtc_hunter


    Feb 16, 2007
    Well, I suppose you would be "their bassist" if they bought you on the auction block and now have shackles and chains on your ankles. Now , "our lead singer" , a gorgeous brunette, can call me "her bass player" anytime she wants to. I dont mind. And at the end of the night, when the house pays me the cash, I guess the rest of the band can call me, "their cashier" or 'their paymaster" etc.etc. etc. Jimmy, It kinda sounds like you dont want to be anybodys anything.
  10. jtc_hunter


    Feb 16, 2007
    Good one, I like that!!:hyper::bassist::bassist:
  11. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Well I don't mind when my wife calls me her husband. That's about it. I guess I have issues about it because the people I've worked with in the past who have called me "my bassist" were tremendous egocentrics who were absolutely doing it to make themselves look like big shots at my expense. So it's been ingrained in me that the people who do it aren't looking for comraderie...they were looking to make themselves look like big shots.

    And I'm not buying the "the guitarist in the band I play in" argument. It's not shorthand for anything to call someone "my ____." Is it so hard to substitute the word "our" instead of "my"? Is that too much to ask for?
  12. Rick Auricchio

    Rick Auricchio Registered Bass Offender

    The terminology gets a little different for a duo act, where "my" tends to work better than "our."

    But I agree that people referring to a colleague as "my ___" should not use that term to imply ownership of the person.

    I always liked how, in The Sopranos, there was a difference between "my friend" and "our friend."
  13. jgroh

    jgroh Supporting Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    Yeah if it is someone that has a huge ego and is obviously using it to make themselves look more important, then that would (and has) bug me too. When we do it in our band, its no big deal because we are all equals.
  14. oh god Ihad flash backs of a band I was in. always with the my bass player crap, same dudes refer to themselves as the "ORIGINAL" members because they got stoned in 10th grade and decided to be rockstars. all that I figured was to mask the fact that I was the butt whiper of the band, calling and scheduling practices, booking and promoting and such:mad::mad::mad:
  15. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    I agree, "our" is acceptable "my" is not. Being referred to as "my bassist" tends to irk me.
    I'm no one's ego fodder but my own :)
  16. uaudio


    Apr 11, 2008
    If I call you "my friend" does that mean you belong to me?
  17. Jazzman


    Nov 26, 2002
    Raleigh, NC
  18. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    No, because that implies comraderie and equality.
  19. this "my" would usually happen when introduced to good looken females at the shows.

    so again with the :mad::mad::mad:
  20. Jefenator

    Jefenator Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2008
    Haven't been "my" bass player yet. I thought "our new" bass player had a strange ring, especially since I was under the impression that I was only subbing. :meh:

    I didn't make a big deal out of it. When they asked if everyone could make rehearsal on Thursday, it was like: sorry (I guess I'm "someone else's" bass player that evening :D)

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