I am NOT "your" bassist

[dannster]

And I'm not buying the "the guitarist in the band I play in" argument. It's not shorthand for anything to call someone "my ____." Is it so hard to substitute the word "our" instead of "my"? Is that too much to ask for?

If one is to say "our ______" one better be standing next to a fellow band member or risk having the one you are talking to stepping away slowly for fear of being stabbed by one of your mean personalities.

I think I'm the exact opposite and would take offense if they didn't call me their bass player. To me it would signal my imminent replacement.

 

[Mikio]

dude, that's being paranoid, that's just a comon a saying, like "my band", "my house " [my parents house, actually], my friend (?), stop thinking too much about things, and worry about playing xD

 

[arstneio]

what if it's a two piece band with just a singer and a bass player?

Then, if he said "our bass player," it would seem like he's talking gollum style.

 

[nsmar4211]

We call each other "my" all the time...... "my bass player", "my guitarist", "my singer", "my drummer". Since I'm only in one band it doesn't bother me a bit. Be thankful they aren't calling you "that pain in the tail guy who plays in the band I'm playing in". Much easier just to say my guitarist. If I don't want to be referred to as someones bass player, I probably don't belong playing in a band with them...............

 

[Norwegian Bass]

I never use the term "my" when talking about the guys in the band. I don't call it "my band" either. I think it sounds stupid and pretensious, especially in norwegian.
If someone says "my bassist" about me I don't mind. I'm not easy to offend.

 

[acleex38]

The only time I've been bothered by being called "my bassist", it wasn't on my own behalf. I thought it was presumptuous. I was sitting in, but my main gig was with a different band (that I'm still in). The vibe was "this person who I'm sitting in with is poaching the band's bassist."

 

[JimmyM]

We call each other "my" all the time...... "my bass player", "my guitarist", "my singer", "my drummer". Since I'm only in one band it doesn't bother me a bit. Be thankful they aren't calling you "that pain in the tail guy who plays in the band I'm playing in".

Oh, they say that But I don't care...they're as big or bigger headcases in their own ways. But we make money so we've come to an understanding over the years. All musicians are headcases to some degree. It's kind of a prerequisite.

 

[EthanTheBassist]

what if it's a two piece band with just a singer and a bass player?

Then, if he said "our bass player," it would seem like he's talking gollum style.

That's funny! I think on stage, you could always introduce them as "...and this is 'so and so', on bass!" instead of placing ownership of anykind whether "my" or "our."
My 2 cents.
Ethan.

 

[Stumbo]

IME, the only person controlling your feelings/emotions is you. Whether it's "our, my, the" or some other pronoun or adjective (effing bass player!), if it's something that bothers you, speak up about it and either accept it or move on. It's not good for the soul to build up anger that comes out years later, especially based on a two letter word.

 

[JimmyM]

IME, the only person controlling your feelings/emotions is you. Whether it's "our, my, the" or some other pronoun or adjective (effing bass player!), if it's something that bothers you, speak up about it and either accept it or move on. It's not good for the soul to build up anger that comes out years later, especially based on a two letter word.

It's OK, Stumbo. It's nothing that I dwell on. Just a topic I thought I'd like to address on a slow day and stir some conversation. Seems like it's about 50/50.

 

[PBass101]

I'm really not the sentimental type, but I refer to my guitarist as "my guitarist" out of the fact that I and our drummer are the only musicians he's played with in his adult life.

Fair enough?

And if I found out that I offended him by calling him "my guitarist", I wouldn't be surprised, nor would I care. I'm the bass player. Everything I say is wrong anyway.

 

[Andrew Jones]

Not meaning to be argumentative but..... do you have the same objection to,

"My Boyfriend" "My Father" ,Ect?


Aj

 

[phatbass]

I see this all the time on here and other places, and I just saw a couple posts on here that made me have to post this thread...

People refer to other guys in their bands as "my guitarist" or "my bassist" or whatever, and I cringe every time I see it. If there's anything that gets my goat, it's being referred to as someone's bassist by another person in the band. I once got into a big backstage shouting match with a famous guy who will remain nameless because he called me "his" bassist onstage (not Bowzer, BTW).

So let's get this clear...I am not anyone's bassist. Do not refer to me as your bassist at any time ever. You do not own me just because you're renting me for a few hours. If you want to refer to me as "our" bassist, that's fine. But I highly resent someone trying to put themselves over as the big shot by calling me their bassist. That's all it is...a big power play.

I've had people tell me it's a sign of comraderie. Bullcrap. It's a power play. Well, how much power over me will you have when I bail on your ass?

Anyway, YMMV, but I hate it and had to say something. Chances are someone in your band hates it, too. So if you're compelled to refer to your bandmates as "my _____er," you may want to think twice about that.

+1.

It's one of the biggies that gets my goat. Doesn't sound like much until you've been there.

 

[JimmyM]

Not meaning to be argumentative but..... do you have the same objection to,

"My Boyfriend" "My Father" ,Ect?


Aj

Of course not. I'm a hell of a lot closer to my wife and kids than anyone I play in bands with. And it's not being used as a power play by insecure bandleaders.

 

[afromoose]

I think that bass players can be sensitive about this kind of stuff, because by the nature of the bass you get overlooked a lot even though you have a pivotal role in any group and a lot of the time you have to tie other musician's shoelaces who then get all the attention and other people assume that the lead man is your puppet master and you can feel like you're always living in somebody else's shadow even though you're very deeply essential to the music and just as much a steering force as anyone else. But that's the breaks of being a bass player. I can't imagine as many guitar players having a problem with this kind of thing, but I might be wrong.

One thing that annoyed the crap out of me once was our lead singer referring to different directions or decisions the band could make and saying 'I' would like to do this and 'I' would like to do that. I gave him hell about that, and told him straight away - "well, YOU might want to do this, but there are 4 people in this band, they come to every rehearsal just like you, maybe they would like to decide how they spend their time too?"

I think that whereas it is a kind of natural thing to slip into the first person, people should learn to not do it, because language has a subtle effect on how we think and how everyone surrounding perceives what is going on. If your lead singer or front man is talking to an interviewer and they habitually use the word 'we', that comes across VERY differently to a front man who habitually uses the word 'I'. It's a combination of common courtesy and common sense to learn this difference, I think.

 

[Muusers]

I see this all the time on here and other places, and I just saw a couple posts on here that made me have to post this thread...

People refer to other guys in their bands as "my guitarist" or "my bassist" or whatever, and I cringe every time I see it. If there's anything that gets my goat, it's being referred to as someone's bassist by another person in the band. I once got into a big backstage shouting match with a famous guy who will remain nameless because he called me "his" bassist onstage (not Bowzer, BTW).

So let's get this clear...I am not anyone's bassist. Do not refer to me as your bassist at any time ever. You do not own me just because you're renting me for a few hours. If you want to refer to me as "our" bassist, that's fine. But I highly resent someone trying to put themselves over as the big shot by calling me their bassist. That's all it is...a big power play.

I've had people tell me it's a sign of comraderie. Bullcrap. It's a power play. Well, how much power over me will you have when I bail on your ass?

Anyway, YMMV, but I hate it and had to say something. Chances are someone in your band hates it, too. So if you're compelled to refer to your bandmates as "my _____er," you may want to think twice about that.

Is it that time of the month again already?

 

[Marlat]

Are you someone else's bassist?

 

[bassmanrocke]

I think the intent of the person calling me "his bass player" really determines my response to the statement. If I feel that both my talent and participation is valued then I do see it as a sign of comradarie. If my input is disregarded, and I am not treated as an equal member then I am highly offended and will respond or exit all together.

 

[Montsegour]

I caught my self with that phrase : "My guitar player is..." but hack, I never ment to offend someone nor put my self above..
When I look at it a bit better, we never had a contract or whatsoever that would make us serious or smth, we're just pals making some music =)

 

[cnltb]

I got no problem with people calling me "their" bassist.
Any sense of "ownership" would be on their part, if at all existent ( which I have not yet had the displeasure of perceiving as yet from anyone I have worked with) and will most likely evaporate when I decline to do one of their gigs for one that may be conflicting with their schedual but is more appealing to me.