So, we're at a gig (private bbq party), we're on break, I'm off to the side chatting with Mrs. Iggy and I look over to see our lead singer hanging out by my bass. Uh oh, oh no, please don't... Yep, he did it, sets his plate of BBQ on my amp, picks up my bass and started trying to figure out how to make it go boom. [He's allegedly a bass player elsewhere, so why he couldn't figure it out makes me a little curious, TBH]. The drummer betrays me (sorry rhythm-brothers) and helps him make it work and he's off to the races accompanying a guest guitarist who was playing during the break. To be clear: He didn't ask, I didn't offer, he just jumped on it... So I'm still sitting to the side with Mrs. Iggy, and we're saying "ok, this is a bit rude, but I can bit my tongue, sleep on it, talk to the BL in a few days and ask him to set some ground rules going forward." Got it? Yeah, I'm good, we can do this. So I go collect my bass and start settling in for the next set. The lead singer turns back towards me, opens his mouth, and my brain explodes with "no, don't say it, don't use that word, we're almost in the clear, don't do it!" Nope. "Thanks for letting me use your bass" he says. shag. That's it, tongue is lose and 'Iggy the A-hole' is in the house. "I didn't let you do anything you rude MF-er, you just took.... " etc etc etc (way too many etcs) I tried to remember that we were at a gig, that professionalism is important, and band fights on stage are always gonna be a poopie-show. Failed, all of it. I went straight to a-hole mode, the only thing I did right was to keep my voice from getting loud enough for the guests to hear. I'm not good at standing up for myself, so I don't do it often, which means I don't getting any practice at standing up for myself, which means I'll always be bad at standing up for myself... yada, yada, yada So... LS quits the band, BL is mad, other band members all think I'm a huge a-hole, I feel like crap. Scale of 1(kinda dumb)-10(really horrible) how bad am I? For reference: -I've only been doing this for 18 months, lots of pressure, very little experience (not an excuse, just a statement of my naivete. -BL does agree that LS had no business touching my stuff.