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I can't be the only one who suffers from this

jmattbassplaya

jmattbassplaya

Supporting Member
Jan 13, 2008
11,843
9,860
#1
I hate to be one of those guys who starts this kind of thread since it's summer time, but....

Does any other guy find himself always crushing on girls who already have boyfriends? No lie, tonight was the fifth girl in a row in the past month who I've met and have found myself crushing on only to find out that they already have another dude on lock down. And it's not even the girls, themselves, telling me they have a guy, but, rather, it's either Facebook or one of my guy or girl friends letting me know.

It just kinda sucks when you've already pushed the quantity over quality philosophy as far as it can go and need to get back into dating for your own mental and physical well-being. I just don't get why taken girls are always soooooo much easier to talk to and get interested in, even if you don't even know they're in a relationship yet.
 
#5
jmattbassplaya said:
I just don't get why taken girls are always soooooo much easier to talk to and get interested in, even if you don't even know they're in a relationship yet.
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Having a boyfriend makes her feel confident, and also means that you aren't a "threat" (for lack of a better word) to her. She doesn't have to be on her guard against you hitting on her, so she can relax. Relaxed and confident is attractive. It's as simple as that, IMHO.
 
#6
jmattbassplaya said:
I hate to be one of those guys who starts this kind of thread since it's summer time, but....

Does any other guy find himself always crushing on girls who already have boyfriends? No lie, tonight was the fifth girl in a row in the past month who I've met and have found myself crushing on only to find out that they already have another dude on lock down. And it's not even the girls, themselves, telling me they have a guy, but, rather, it's either Facebook or one of my guy or girl friends letting me know.

It just kinda sucks when you've already pushed the quantity over quality philosophy as far as it can go and need to get back into dating for your own mental and physical well-being. I just don't get why taken girls are always soooooo much easier to talk to and get interested in, even if you don't even know they're in a relationship yet.
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Because they're more relaxed about things. They don't have to be wary of every guy they talk to because they won't be going on an endless string of bad dates, worrying about whether the guy will do something to harm them.

OTOH, it could be you who's not seeing the signals that they're putting out there re: being in a relationship and then choosing to chase them anyway because, deep down, you don't want a committed relationship or don't trust women.
 
#9
images
 
#11
Could be worse, you could be married with kids and have lots of cute girls hitting on you and you can't do anything about it but say, "sorry, I'm married"...the right thing is usually the hardest!
 
#17
MJ5150 said:
No. Kudos to you for respecting the relationship though. I thought one of those paragraphs was going to end differently.

-Mike
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Agreed, I have an ex friend/boss that in the time I've known him has hooked up with and near stalked at least 5 married women. I finally go fed up and mentioned my dislike of the habit... I was instantly ejected from the cool kid club and soon after seeking new employment.

I might still get some satisfaction out of the whole situation. He has since (uncharacteristically) hooked up with a single Mom, knocked her up, and married her... I can only hope that some day she steps out on him :)
 
#19
Attractive women are always in demand. People in general tend to like to be in a relationship. Finding that moment when an attractive woman is available is not easy. I'm eleven years married, but during the (ahem) many years up until that point, I always had a whole lot of women friends. Some very attractive, and some not. I find having a huge pool of women who know, like and trust you is awesome, because sometimes one you always liked will become available, and it isn't very hard for a "friend" to become a "lover."

For those of you who have trouble making that (ahem) jump, I guess I should write a book, or something, because it's much easier than most people make it out to be.
 
#20
I don't believe, IMO, there is a correlation. You must also realize that women will lie about these things in order to get you out of their hair. No offense to you...but it's what many will do.

As a converse side-note: we used to have a joke at one of my older workplaces - guys who are in relationships always seem to attract more single women. Women see men who are in a relationship as worthy; they don't have to question "why?" he's not in a relationship (believe me, many women are dumb enough to do that). Many women also like the chase.


I personally have this odd trait where I instantly lose most or all attraction for women who are in relationships. No point in having any.
 

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