Dismiss Notice

Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

:( I get no credit.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Tym2cu_bass, Oct 16, 2004.


  1. Iono why, but for some reason, in other peoples eyes im always doing something wrong!

    I'm lead t-bone in the jazz band, and whenever something bad happens, they blame it on me, and they're serious - I'm one of the best bass players in my school and no one wants me in their band - I'm in all advanced classes, yet everyone still thinks I'm dumb - I try to be nice, but everyone just trys to shove me around - I dont spend too much time on the couch, or on the computer, and everyone still calls me fat and lazy (im 115 pounds and i'm 15... how could i be fat?) but they are serious about it. I mean come on, is my life supposed to suck? oh ya, and to top it off, I have one of the best t-bones ever made, a 1940's King 2b, but it needs a new paint job, and just because of that they think it sux which somehow leads to me sucking? and i want to get it fixed but i dont have the money to fix it :(

    How are you supposed to get ahead? I mean come on... if i ran for something like class president or something (and i'm far qualified, i know enough about wat people want, school, and politics) i probably wouln'dt get a single vote and some loser would. And its not like im an @$$, im raelly nice to people, they just aren't nice back... *** is wrong with me!??!?!

    :( *jus' letting off some steam... i had a misserable day*
     
  2. Rhythmalism

    Rhythmalism

    Sep 25, 2004
    Jocks and party-ers win through college. After that, they'll be bagging your groceries.
     
  3. Sonorous

    Sonorous

    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    You said that in another thread... don't say stuff like that and things will get better.
     
  4. Ericman197

    Ericman197

    Feb 23, 2004
    Iowa
    It's your own fault, but not for the obvious reasons. You lack confidence and self esteem. I was like that as well, and to some extent, I still am. I was what you would consider a "nice guy." You know the type. All the women say they want a nice guy but when one comes along, they wouldn't give him the time of day. This is because people want what they can't have. By being nice and lenient towards everyone, you present yourself as one who can be taken advantage of. Kids pick on you not because you're a fat lazy idiot, but because they can get away with calling you those types of names. If you don't do anything about it, they'll continue to do so. Teasing is something which is ingrained in the human psyche; it's unfortunate, but it's not going to go away any time soon. You can either keep on taking it as I did and let your confidence plummet, or you can do something about it and "rise up," so to say.

    It could even be a mental illness that is the root of this. I'm not sure whether it was depression which caused me to become a loser, or whether my downfall made me depressed, but taking Effexor XR was extremely helpful. With the support of my friends I was able to overcome most of my problems. Nowadays, if someone was to make fun of me, I'd just ignore it. You don't have to get in their face about it and threaten them, but you shouldn't take it to heart either. Kids are cruel, and so am I. I hate to say it, but I'm as guilty as all the other bullies. I don't physically harm anyone, nor do I verbally abuse others in a malicious manner, but I can think of plenty of instances where I've been mean towards someone who I perceived as being "weak." Unfortunately, in many situations, if you are nice to that weak person, you too will be perceived as weak.
     
  5. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    Don't Sweat the Small stuff. It's high school, take everything people say with a grain of salt. Find your true friends and forget about the people who dislike you.

    A few suggestions
    1. Somebody shoves you seriously, follow that with a punch to the face. I guarantee that will be the last time somebody shoves you. :D
    2. If somebody makes fun of you; make fun of them. If this causes physical action, refer to point 1. :D
    3. Don't toot your own horn to much.


    I had a problem with a few people when I was in 9th grade (I believe they were seniors). Alot of verbal abuse that I ignored and nothing came of it.

    But I get a kick knowing that my college is going according to schedule (3rd semester), while they are still going to community college; when they should be almost finished with their Bachelors.
     
  6. I'm getting through it without drugs.

    To each their own, though, I guess. :meh:
     
  7. Stupid world
     
  8. Diowulf

    Diowulf Guest

    Aug 4, 2004
    San Rafael CA
    Sorry to hear man. :(

    I kind of agree with Ericman on this issue. You should stick up for yourself, because there are bullies, and they do pick on the nice ones. And that saying "nice guys finish last" I think it's true, because I'm a nice guy too.

    I also think they do it partly out of jealousy. Your better than them, and they know that, so they want to make you feel as low as possible to make them look better than you.

    The world can be a better place, just stick in there and you'll see :)
     
  9. Ericman197

    Ericman197

    Feb 23, 2004
    Iowa
    Jealousy is also a factor. There are so many levels of complexity to these issues that it's extremely difficult to pinpoint one individual cause. I know it was my own fault for being taken advantage of in the past; although in most cases the person taking advantage of me shouldn't have done it, they did. The only thing I would suggest is to not use physical violence or provoke anyone into fighting you. Will it earn you respect? Maybe. Could it ruin your life? Yes.
     
  10. I agree. I don't think that drugs are the instant solution. Standing up for yourself can be, though. Having low self-esteem when you're a teenager is a vicious cycle - when you lack esteem, you get picked on and suffer more damage to your self worth. The only way to break through is to find reason, find confidence in who you are and say "**** off" to everyone else.

    If you don't think you're strong enough to make it on your own and you need professional help, try therapy before accepting drugs. Drugs can be very helpful, but therapy is consistantly more successful in both short and long-terms and has no potential side effects.

    Finally, I wanna say that you're not alone with this. As demonstrated by the bully thread, a lot of people have trouble through their teens. Just always remember that.

    Leigh
     
  11. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    Who cares?

    Honestly, thats the best advice I can give.

    It shouldnt matter what they think, its your life that you are living and the consequences of your actions are yours alone so what difference does it make to them?

    So then why do you care what they say?

    I gotta agree that you cant make yourself a target though. If you let them push you around and make fun of you, then they will. Easy prey is what they look for.

    <Now, I'll nit pick>

    Are you 100% certain its not your fault in some way? You are lead, so in a way you're responsible for everyone else and they follow you.

    Says who? I knew plenty of guys who were "better" than me but no one wanted them in their band because they were wankers or stuck up creeps who made a big deal over how good they were. I judged my sucess as a bassist and still do, by how many bands want me to work with them.

    I was in honor classes too so I know what its like in them. There were plenty of idiots in those classes. Dont think that being placed there means you are smart, it just means that you do good in school. There is a big difference. I dropped all my honors classes and phazed down because I was a lazy slacker. That doesnt mean Im dumb. Goes the other way around too.

    Funny how one persons idea of friendly is another's idea of annoying. Maybe you try to hard. Stop carring what other people think and it'll be cool. Im not saying to be a jerk, but dont sweat so much. If you see someone who needs help, help them, but dont rush to help someone if they've already told you to buzz off. Dont let them shove you around either.

    How tall are you? Are you muscular? Heck, you could be fat at 115 and 15 years old. How do you know they are serious. Maybe they just like making you feel bad because you make it easy for them. How much time on the couch and computer are we talking about?


    Life isnt supposed to suck, but it will anyways as long as you keep looking at the world in this way.

    In conclusion:

    You shouldnt care what they think.

    Make sure you arent blowing your own horn when you shouldnt be.

    Stick up for yourself.
     
  12. Ericman197

    Ericman197

    Feb 23, 2004
    Iowa
    Maybe they're joking. I get called fat all the time and I'm 165lbs. and 6' tall ;)

    With regards to the prescription drugs, it depends on your problem. If your problem is chemical, therapy will be about as helpful as masturbation. If you have a chemical imbalance, correcting it will be the easiest and quickest solution. Drugs won't make your problems go away, but taking them will give you a different outlook on things.

    Side effects of most anti-depressents are extremely mild. The only thing I'd be concerned with is stunting your growth, which can happen. That's why such medication is generally not prescribed to anyone under the age of 18 unless it's a very serious case. I started around age 16 though, and I've had no problems whatsoever. I've known other people who started even earlier than I did, took much harder drugs and had no problems. It wouldn't be such a bad idea to see a psychiatrist about these matters; he'll take into consideration the side effects and prescribe whatever will work best for your situation. Effexor XR works quite well for kids and has a much lower incident of side effects than other anti-depressents.
     
  13. Ericman197: If it is solely chemical then I would suggest drugs. However, his problem is related to being picked on at school. What he needs is coping strategies and someone to talk to about the problems. I'm not disregarding the benefits of drugs under certain circumstances. But I do believe one of two things could be happening here - he could be making himself an easy target, or else he is putting out a bad vibe. In either case, drugs may (only may) solve the problem temporarily. From his post, it appears that he is doing all he can to put out a good vibe, so it just appears that people are picking on him because he has made himself a target. Drugs will only numb the attacks.

    Tym: you gotta remember that the smartest, the nicest or the 'best' person means nothing when you're a teenager. Look at what it is that others are perceiving as cool and you might find that they aren't qualities that you want to have. In which case, the opinions of a bunch of tools isn't going to worry you so much. And as soon as you stop caring, they will stop teasing.

    Leigh
     
  14. Only

    Only

    Sep 8, 2002
    Warrensburg, MO
    Yes, high school sucks. But it ends, too. Things get better. I was you almost...Except I don't play T-bone. In five years, is it going to matter that some dork in history called you fat? Not likely.

    Also, it appears that Steph is now stealing my lines. But that's OK too. ;)
     
  15. Im 5'6"... so no, i'm not fat, i only spend like an hour on electronics a day, maybe two hours on a lazy day..... and i run my mile in under 6 minutes... and yes, on your thing saying "just cause you are in honors classes doesn't mean your smart" ... im not just book smart...


    And i dont plan on taking drugs for it, most of those drugs are just placebos anyway. Sides, i was always tought drugs was a weak way out of things.


    But what really pisses me off is like modern pop. All those loser rappers all rapping about capping people off, doing drugs, sleeping around, and i mean ***. They get all the attention because they are living in a sinfull fantasy life. Them in their big clothing trying to look all cool... lazy disgusting bastards. And they can get away with everything..
     
  16. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    Connecticut
    Oh, come on, are you serious? You sound like either a 90-year old or the kind of kid that thinks "they should like me cause I'm smart and have the most powerful D&D character in town." The popularity of other people doesn't diminish the popularity of you. If everyone suddenly stopped paying attention to "all those loser rappers" they wouldn't suddenly start paying attention to you. You don't know ANYTHING about the people making the music or how hard they've worked to get there.
     
  17. Squidfinger

    Squidfinger I wish I could sing like Rick Danko.

    Jan 7, 2004
    Shreveport LA
    One of the best posts ever. The hierarchy changes drastically after you get out of school. You'll see. Just keep trudging along, it'll pay off. High school is meant to be a pile of dog crap. I don't trust anyone who says that HS was the best time of their life.
     
  18. Sonorous

    Sonorous

    Oct 1, 2003
    Denton, TX
    :eyebrow: