My bandmates do the scene. I don't. Can't, really. I'm the only guy working a full-time day job.
"Unfair" is a bit of a stretch, no?
"Unfair" is a bit of a stretch, no?
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I go to their gigs but they won't come to my gigs.
- Thread starter Axtman
- Start date
you should only go because you want to.
let it go...
nobody owes you anything for going to their gig other than your moneys worth during the show!
if they don't come to yours, thats fine. invite 'em, but i wouldn't overthink reality that people are busy and making it out to the gig can be tricky.
let it go...
nobody owes you anything for going to their gig other than your moneys worth during the show!
if they don't come to yours, thats fine. invite 'em, but i wouldn't overthink reality that people are busy and making it out to the gig can be tricky.
i always try to support my friends bands, not every gig just once in a while if it's relatively close..Is the music the same genre?...I go to see my friends jazz band once in awhile, but i'd doubt they'd come to my gigs doing blues/rock or metal.a little disheartening but no biggy, not like i disowned them or anything
Before I was a musician (and I use that term very very loosely) I noticed that the friends I had who were musicians were the least likely ones to come out with to support a good out of town band that was passing thru, and some of those friends were the first ones to pi$$ and moan that enough people don't come out for their shows. This was in the prehistoric pre internet time in a smaller town that didn't have much of a scene for what we liked (punk and some ska.) The irony was not lost on me.
These days it's even harder to draw in a bigger city with all the other bands and at home entertainment that's accessible to just about everyone.
With that said, you can't do everything every night of the week, especially after working 40-55hrs starting early most days unless that is your favorite and only 'thing.'
It's a conundrum, and not a reasonable expectation of 'a friend' you've seen a half dozen times to come to at least one out of a half dozen of your shows. Unless the music is truly awful, I'd probably just hand them a flyer or send a Facebook invite but stop verbally mentioning it.
I also don't want the success or failure of my band(s) to rely so much on my friends or family... I would much prefer people to be drawn to it on their own accord more than it being a favor to the band members.
Almost everybody will come out to see your first show ever, but after that your band(s) is (are) on their own.
These days it's even harder to draw in a bigger city with all the other bands and at home entertainment that's accessible to just about everyone.
With that said, you can't do everything every night of the week, especially after working 40-55hrs starting early most days unless that is your favorite and only 'thing.'
It's a conundrum, and not a reasonable expectation of 'a friend' you've seen a half dozen times to come to at least one out of a half dozen of your shows. Unless the music is truly awful, I'd probably just hand them a flyer or send a Facebook invite but stop verbally mentioning it.
I also don't want the success or failure of my band(s) to rely so much on my friends or family... I would much prefer people to be drawn to it on their own accord more than it being a favor to the band members.
Almost everybody will come out to see your first show ever, but after that your band(s) is (are) on their own.
I see where the OP is coming from. It's not about begging people to come, it's the feeling that he's turning up to see them play and it would be nice if sometimes they reciprocated.
I'm in exactly the same position. I've supported all the acts round here and had less support in return. Our band is playing venues that are a cut above the local scene though, with ticketed entry etc as opposed to free entry bar gigs etc, so it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is musicians supporting open mic nights and jams, but not other bands in the scene.
In any case, I actually prefer to play further from home where I don't know anyone....
I'm in exactly the same position. I've supported all the acts round here and had less support in return. Our band is playing venues that are a cut above the local scene though, with ticketed entry etc as opposed to free entry bar gigs etc, so it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is musicians supporting open mic nights and jams, but not other bands in the scene.
In any case, I actually prefer to play further from home where I don't know anyone....
I believe in musicians taking care of their own. I am not saying we keep score and only do a 1 to 1 relationship, but going to a gig once and a while would be nice.
On a related note, I have a friend (whom I go to her gigs) complain to me that her band does the same songs and does not want to do new songs. Her fear is that nobody will show up to her gigs because it's the same show as previous and will be the same show next gig. She has taken initiative and invite guest performers on her gigs hoping that will be just different enough and getting a few of the guest performer's people to show up.
On a related note, I have a friend (whom I go to her gigs) complain to me that her band does the same songs and does not want to do new songs. Her fear is that nobody will show up to her gigs because it's the same show as previous and will be the same show next gig. She has taken initiative and invite guest performers on her gigs hoping that will be just different enough and getting a few of the guest performer's people to show up.
This right here. And I gotta admit, I'm the same way. When a friend gets in a new band, I'll go see them once. Unless it's a great band and a great venue, I probably won't get out to their gigs again any time soon. It doesn't help that my wife isn't much of a live music fan.
There's always counseling.
Well, i never invited any of my friends out to watch me program and set up a milling machine, or rebuild an outboard motor or motorcycle. When i’m playing out for money it’s work so why would i invite my friends out to watch me work? Not to mention as an asocial personality type what few friends i have are not musicians (neither am i) so why should i put pressure on them to do something they have little or no interest in? The people i have invited asked me to let them know when i’d be playing out so i did. It was mostly coworkers and i have a hard and fast rule of no social intercourse with coworkers unless it’s a work related function or cannot be avoided, which is where being asked to let them know when i’m playing out, falls under.
I’ve always preferred to keep my social life and work life separate.
Gigging musicians are busy. It’s cool to go to support — people will come when their time is available and the vibe is right. Pushing it and pestering isn’t going to make it fun for anyone.
one way to connect within the scene is to pick up some quick cover gigs as duos or trips of mixed members of bands from the same scene.... brings people together and can get some crossover fan things happening.
one way to connect within the scene is to pick up some quick cover gigs as duos or trips of mixed members of bands from the same scene.... brings people together and can get some crossover fan things happening.
Yeah, I have to agree with this. You seem to be setting up expectations that are making you unhappy. If I set up a requirement that someone come see me play before I'd go out to see them, I'd never go out, and I'd miss a lot of fun.
I don't really understand limiting your entertainment options like that or making music about something that isn't music, it seems like a choice that makes your world awfully small. Why can't you just go out and have a good time and focus on your enjoyment of someone else's music rather than what you think other people should be giving you back? Resentment is a terribly heavy thing to carry around with you and it's not going to get you too far in this business.
If you can't do that, then you should probably stay home and watch TV.
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