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I hate birds... help me destroy them all.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Kwesi, Apr 3, 2009.

  1. Ever since so called spring rolled around birds have been landing on my car and dumping all over the passenger and driver side doors and mirrors. If I leave the car there for anything longer than 2 hours the birds get it. I won't call my car the cleanest thing in the world but I can't stand bird crap on it. It seriously makes me want to puke. I tried explaining the situation to my Dad and he basically thinks I'm being a whiny ***** and when I try to park it in a different spot he moves it back. I'm not even parked under a tree and the birds still get me. Our garage is filled to the brim with junk so It's currently impossible to fit a car into either sides and I can't think of much else to stop the barrage of bird junk.

    Does anyone have a solution (preferably one that does not involve shotguns and/or explosives :ninja:) that has worked for them that they wouldn't mind passing to me?
  2. hover


    Oct 4, 2008
    No real solution except to not park where they are.

    You can't just kill them...you could get and train a Falcon, or get a huge vacuum like NickTheBassist (and teach them a lesson) but short of those things,

    Buy a car cover.
    Or call Clean House and get that chick to get rid of the clutter and you all can bond as a family through the process and get free stuff.
  3. elpezpr


    Feb 7, 2008
    I hate them as well!!!
  4. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    I like birds... I have a few feeders and houses on my property.

    you could always buy a cover
  5. Absentia


    Feb 25, 2009
    Thinking your dads right.
    **** happens

    get a bucket and a sponge and get to werk.
  6. Joe Gress

    Joe Gress

    Dec 22, 2005
    Pueblo, CO
    Contact NTB.
  7. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    Yeah it's funny how Dad's are so often right! :p

    When you become of independent of them - that's when you get the right to have an opinion...;)
  8. Thanks for the support :rolleyes:, lol. I was thinking that maybe a feeder would distract them away from the car...

    ...Then I could pick them off with a BB gun :D. But, In all seriousness would a fake owl and a feeder help any? I have both I just haven't put them to use yet.
  9. TallLankyBastyd


    Jan 31, 2007
    And then you lose them again two days after the wedding when you move out of your parents house into your wife's apartment.

    ...the birds are the least of your problems!

  10. Happynoj


    Dec 5, 2006
    I like turtles.
    Better go and find your vacuum cleaner...
  11. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    You could always send a message back to the bird commander by crapping on the head of one of his chicks.
  12. Move into your in-laws' place and you'll completely forget the birds. :)
  13. alkaseltzer. :ninja:
  14. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
  15. RicPlaya


    Apr 22, 2003
    The Mitten
    I feed the birds at my house too

    Yeah your being whiney..nature is cool, humans are hard on things and plants and amimals is definatley affected by us. Not that I am some huge tree hugger, but be nice to the birds..they are cool. So you get a little poop on your car, when it rains it's gone anyway.
  16. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    Here's another vote for your Dad.
  17. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    You could always get a job and get your own place with a covered parking space.
  18. middy


    Mar 14, 2007
    A feeder would just draw more birds.

    A fake owl might work unless the problem birds are crows or jays, they're too smart for that kind of thing.
  19. RicPlaya


    Apr 22, 2003
    The Mitten
    What kind of car do you drive?
  20. Joe Gress

    Joe Gress

    Dec 22, 2005
    Pueblo, CO
    Don't do a feeder. It will attract more.

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