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I hate it when everyone plays "blame-the-bassist"

P

pinrar

Apr 23, 2012
21
0
Turkey
#1
Well, when we botch a song, and no one knows what specifically went wrong, people tend to blame it on me. I'm a newbie, OK, but jeez I KNOW what I play!

I am usually a very calm person, and I know I have low self esteem on top of that, but at one of the rehearsals I totally flipped when the guitarist told me that I wasn't following the drummer. I told them there was no such no thing. (By "told" I mean "yelled in his face"). We had a huge fight and we booked a recording session the next week.

I was very frustrated and angry when I got there, but I played very nicely and he had to shut up. :cool:

I hate hate hate when someone tells me to add a fill somewhere when I'm already doing it. One time, I played through a song (Be Yourself - Audioslave) with half-step off tuning, and when the song was over, I started retuning. One of them asked why I was retuning... he didn't notice that I was off :eyebrow: I am not a quiet player, and we have a single guitar. I mean, how can you NOT notice the bass going half step higher in that song?! They are all great people, all good friends of mine, and they are good at their instruments; I just wish they actually listened to my playing before criticizing me.. /rant

Have you played with people like this? How long did you put up with them? Or are these normal incidents? What kind of attitude would help me sort things out?
 
#4
Sorry for not being clear, English isn't my native language and I was... ranting.

During the fight, at one point, it was down to my word vs. his word.

"You miss beats"
"No I don't"
"You do"
"No I don't"
"I wish we had recorded that so you could see"
"Maybe we should next week".

And we booked the session. Does this relate the sentence to the rest of the post? Or am I still not getting it :hiding:
 
#5
pinrar said:
Have you played with people like this? How long did you put up with them?
Click to expand...

Only once, he was a guitarist friend of another band member and wanted to do a few Shadows tunes at one gig. I repeatedly asked for the music or a cassette (you can tell how long ago it was) so I could learn them but never received either.

At the rehearsal I did ok winging it IMO, but his timing was all over. He blamed it on me and he was oh so close to being beaten about the head with a p bass but I managed to control myself.

Come the night of the gig and I got my own back, when he stepped on stage to be the star I stepped off, closely followed by the keyboard player. It was a complete train wreck.

Or are these normal incidents? What kind of attitude would help me sort things out?
Click to expand...

I find attack is the best line of defence, get the first strike in - but make sure you are right before you say anything.

With my current band I am the one who is always listening to the others and can spot when someone plays a maj chord instead of a min, and I don't mind letting them know. It just keeps them on their toes.

I don't mind them pulling me up if I am wrong, I just try and make sure they don't often get the chance.
 
#7
pinrar said:
Sorry for not being clear, English isn't my native language and I was... ranting.

During the fight, at one point, it was down to my word vs. his word.

"You miss beats"
"No I don't"
"You do"
"No I don't"
"I wish we had recorded that so you could see"
"Maybe we should next week".

And we booked the session. Does this relate the sentence to the rest of the post? Or am I still not getting it :hiding:
Click to expand...

Makes sense to me. That's kinda what I figured you meant in the first place. You could have added to "scheduling a recording session" a clarification like "To see if I'm messing up or not."
Not a big deal, I understood what you meant. (took me a minute, but I got it)
 
#10
The rhythm section drives the bus. If the guitar player isn't able to follow what the rhythm section is laying down, well maybe he needs to go back to the woodshed and practice.......

If you and the drummer are on the same page, well...... It aint your problem.
 
#11
Well that is guitarists and also singers for you, God forbid they are a singer who also plays guitar. It's one of the classic ha ha's to blame stuff on the bass player, I got it all the time too when I was in my last band. Most times I would fight back if I felt I was in the right (most times I was), but also most times it was just not worth the headache for myself.
 
#12
A band is a group of people who strive to attain the same goals. To be honest, depending on where you plan on going with your music career, never attack. Here's why: it causes drama, the death keel of many a band/project.

A person who goes through the trouble of learning music, even a mediocre musician, spends hours upon hours to get where he/she is. This means that at least on some level, they're passionate enough to put in some time. If they love it, they can get touchy about it. It happens to all of us from time to time. We get emotional and take stuff personally. You yourself said you hate when someone blames you. Of course you do. You've practiced, you do your best and someone tries to blame inadequacies on you. It hurts. But the point I'm trying to make is that it hurts for others as well. So unless you want to be the person who doesn't give a rat's hind-quarters about his/her colleagues, don't jump straight attacking.

Recording was a good idea. It provides an opportunity to analyze what is truly happening. If you want a suggestion; keep in mind that it's not about who's fault it is, it's about trying to make the band better. This allows everyone to work towards a common goal, rather than play the finger pointing game.

Passion can be volatile. Anyone who's been around long enough knows that the #1 reason given for bands breaking up is "egos" (or "creative differences" if you want to be polite about it). It's a mine field that has claimed enough victims. Work together, always. That's the whole idea behind a "band" anyway.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to be self-righteous. I just don't like how some bandmates just turn on each other with such ease. I don't like where the industry is right now and being at odds with other musicians isn't going to help anyone. Also it's almost 10am and I haven't slept yet.
 
#16
A fair advice : keep at it,play better and better,do not listen to anyone,do not get bothered when people is wrong and still blaming you.
When you become a better musician,people around will stop complaining.
When you become a better musician,if they still complains,you have so many choice in front of you : you can leave the band and find others faster,or they will come for you,whichever happen first.
Believe me : there is NOTHING people can say when you are at that level.
That's the way to handle it.
Grow up musically.
 
#17
Tom_RCJ said:
To be honest, depending on where you plan on going with your music career, never attack. Here's why: it causes drama, the death keel of many a band/project.
Click to expand...

I do agree that attack is not always the best policy, tact and diplomacy are far better as you never know when you will bump into them again so always better to be on good terms than bad.

As a retired engineer and weekend warier since school days I have no doubt that my musical career has gone about as far as it is likely to go.

I am the pretty laid back type, until accused of being wrong when I know for sure I am right, then you better have your facts straight as I wont let it rest until sorted out.

MIJ, MIA, MIM, Squier, SX?
Click to expand...

MIA '62P, now retired from active service. With the amount of battle scars it picked up from 35 years of gigging another couple wouldn't be noticed.
 
#18
eb3mike said:
Still getting it in my 60s. On covers I calmly say let's listen to to the recording... again. Gives me a chance to point out mistakes by the other band mates. Especially the BL singer.
Click to expand...
+1

We now record all rehearsals primarily for critical listening but it has the added bonus that we work harder on preparation to make sure there are the minimum amount of mistakes.
 
#19
Phalex said:
The rhythm section drives the bus. If the guitar player isn't able to follow what the rhythm section is laying down, well maybe he needs to go back to the woodshed and practice.......

If you and the drummer are on the same page, well...... It aint your problem.
Click to expand...

THIS!!!^^

Get really tight with your drummer. My drummer and I keep our guitard in check regularly. We were working up a new tune the other day and he kept coming in like a half beat early on this walkdown part in the bridge. He blamed us first and we just laughed and played it through with a count and showed him how to count to four.
 
#20
pinrar said:
Well, when we botch a song, and no one knows what specifically went wrong, people tend to blame it on me. I'm a newbie, OK, but jeez I KNOW what I play!

I am usually a very calm person, and I know I have low self esteem on top of that, but at one of the rehearsals I totally flipped when the guitarist told me that I wasn't following the drummer. I told them there was no such no thing. (By "told" I mean "yelled in his face"). We had a huge fight and we booked a recording session the next week.

I was very frustrated and angry when I got there, but I played very nicely and he had to shut up. :cool:

I hate hate hate when someone tells me to add a fill somewhere when I'm already doing it. One time, I played through a song (Be Yourself - Audioslave) with half-step off tuning, and when the song was over, I started retuning. One of them asked why I was retuning... he didn't notice that I was off :eyebrow: I am not a quiet player, and we have a single guitar. I mean, how can you NOT notice the bass going half step higher in that song?! They are all great people, all good friends of mine, and they are good at their instruments; I just wish they actually listened to my playing before criticizing me.. /rant

Have you played with people like this? How long did you put up with them? Or are these normal incidents? What kind of attitude would help me sort things out?
Click to expand...

I think everyone has played with douches like this at some point. I used to question myself and my playing because of these guys, until I realized that they were attacking me to cover up their own insecurities and mistakes. It all came to a complete stop when I bought a digital recorder, and started taping rehearsals and shows.

There is no question about who messed up... they just can't hide.

And if everyone can improve their playing because they can actually hear their own mistakes, then everyone wins. Of course, there will always be the idiots that just won't admit it was them that screwed up regardless of what they hear on the recording... but you're better off without those guys anyhow.
 

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