Sorry to hear this. Maybe look to Tommy Shannon as inspiration. He's said his best years were with Stevie Ray and he misses him greatly, but he still plays too.
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I may be done. Help me out!
- Thread starter deeptubes
- Start date
Time will tell you what to do.For now; don't beat yourself up and allow some time for grieving and reevaluating.
My 2cent
After 10 days, of course you feel that way. Whenever people lose a loved one, they give up on lots of things; eating, work, appearance, etc. It`s a normal phase of the grieving process. But as you come full circle - and you will, in time - music may be the one thing that reconnects you to your lost friend. It may, no, most likely will, be the thing that eventually brings closure and acceptance. Do not sell your gear. Put it away, out of sight if needed. But one day you will pull it back out, most likely, and realize how healing it can be at the right time. Good luck, my friend.
I like everyone else is saddened by your loss, but I agree with everyone else, just take a break and give yourself time to heal. Don't make a rash decision, it will just add to your regret later. I know for a fact the only thing that has helped me keep my sanity this last year has been playing.
Take Care.
Take Care.
My deepest sympathies. You need to time to grieve and come to terms with your loss so a break is definitely in order.
I replaced the bassist for my current band a year after he died from leukemia. The band had stopped playing for much of that time and was uncertain about going forward together. When I auditioned, I was very nervous about replacing someone so close to the guys. I didn't know how to approach it so I straight out asked why they chose to find a new bassist and continue. Their answer was that they finally decided that their friend would've wanted them to continue.
I wish you the best.
I replaced the bassist for my current band a year after he died from leukemia. The band had stopped playing for much of that time and was uncertain about going forward together. When I auditioned, I was very nervous about replacing someone so close to the guys. I didn't know how to approach it so I straight out asked why they chose to find a new bassist and continue. Their answer was that they finally decided that their friend would've wanted them to continue.
I wish you the best.
Sorry for your loss man...but don't sell! Take a little break if you need to. Your friend wouldn't want you to give up. I would definitely want my band to keep going if I died.
- Jun 3, 2009
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- Disclosures
- Bassgearu, Music Industry Consulting and Sales. Tech 21, NBE Corp, Sonosphere.
My sympathies to you and yours for your loss.
While I have never lost my closest friends to death, I have lost all of them when the band broke up and they all moved far away. I felt similar, in that I would never feel the joy of playing like I did with them. And I was right. I took some time and put everything away in a closet for a long time.
Looking back on that time, I now see how wrong it was for me. You can never recapture anything of the past, as it is just that, the past. I have come to realize over time that the memories I have of them and our time together are sooo much more enjoyable in my memory and I can really appreciate the time we had together. Nothing can replace the way it felt with us all together. Nor should it.
I know now that I enjoy playing just as much, only not with the same feelings. I used my playing to work out the issues I had and came to understand I was human. I feel things. I honor those who have passed before me by being the best me I can be. That includes me playing and sharing my talent with others.
I can't tell you what to do, only you can decide. If you can look at your self in the mirror and honestly say you never want to play again, that you can live without playing or your gear, then you have already decided. Do what you feel you should. Yes, gear can always be replaced. If you cannot look in the mirror and hear your self say give it up, then you aren't ready and will find that when your grieving is over the music will bring joy back to your life.
I am sorry for your loss. I and the rest of us on TB are here for you.
While I have never lost my closest friends to death, I have lost all of them when the band broke up and they all moved far away. I felt similar, in that I would never feel the joy of playing like I did with them. And I was right. I took some time and put everything away in a closet for a long time.
Looking back on that time, I now see how wrong it was for me. You can never recapture anything of the past, as it is just that, the past. I have come to realize over time that the memories I have of them and our time together are sooo much more enjoyable in my memory and I can really appreciate the time we had together. Nothing can replace the way it felt with us all together. Nor should it.
I know now that I enjoy playing just as much, only not with the same feelings. I used my playing to work out the issues I had and came to understand I was human. I feel things. I honor those who have passed before me by being the best me I can be. That includes me playing and sharing my talent with others.
I can't tell you what to do, only you can decide. If you can look at your self in the mirror and honestly say you never want to play again, that you can live without playing or your gear, then you have already decided. Do what you feel you should. Yes, gear can always be replaced. If you cannot look in the mirror and hear your self say give it up, then you aren't ready and will find that when your grieving is over the music will bring joy back to your life.
I am sorry for your loss. I and the rest of us on TB are here for you.
Since I don't know you, I'm just guessing, but since you posted here on Talk Bass, there must still be a desire to play. That desire may covered up by the pain you have, but If I were you I wouldn't make any important decisions until you have had a good amount of time to work through this.
Words are never enough, but I'm very sorry for your loss.
Words are never enough, but I'm very sorry for your loss.
I think "with time" that you'll find that playing will bring you closer to his memory, rather than reminding you of the current hurt your going through.
Use playing as a way to embrace his memory rather than seeing playing as a hurtful reminder.
Use playing as a way to embrace his memory rather than seeing playing as a hurtful reminder.
My sympathies, there is no need to feel as if you need the answers to the gear or any other questions today.
You are now grieving, it is probably not the best time to be making major decisions. You are not alone, as I am sure many TBers have experienced great loss in their lives and do understand your pain.
I hope that one day, you will be able to celebrate his life in a way you know best. With music.
I hope that one day, you will be able to celebrate his life in a way you know best. With music.
A year and a half ago my guitarist died suddenly. It still leaves a void me. Sorry for your loss, but give it some time. Then make your decision.
Music can make you remember "good times" and also help you to forget "bad times". Dont quit the music, use it.
- Nov 9, 2009
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- Endorsing Artist: Reunion Blues, 64 Audio, Mesa Engineering, Ernie Ball.
Give it some time. Maybe you'll decide that not playing music anymore is the right decision for you, but give it some time first. You're still in the phase where this would be considered a 'rash decision'.
Personally, I hope you don't give up music, but hey, I don't know you. I don't know what's best for you.
Personally, I hope you don't give up music, but hey, I don't know you. I don't know what's best for you.
This:
Keep playing, if only to keep the spirit and memory of your friend completely alive. Of course I don't mean play NOW. Take the time you need to grieve, as much time as you need. But don't forget who you are and don't let your friend's dream die with him.
Sorry for your loss.
Keep playing, if only to keep the spirit and memory of your friend completely alive. Of course I don't mean play NOW. Take the time you need to grieve, as much time as you need. But don't forget who you are and don't let your friend's dream die with him.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. Dont make any decisions, Give yourself time to grieve. Take it a day at a time. Hang in there. I know it's tough.
take some time to regroup and grieve. The urge to play will come back to you and when it does you will want your gear there.
I was in the middle of a cross Canada tour with my original band when my father passed away - after that I took a few years off from music but now I'm back in the saddle again.
You'll know when you're ready to play again
I was in the middle of a cross Canada tour with my original band when my father passed away - after that I took a few years off from music but now I'm back in the saddle again.
You'll know when you're ready to play again
As time goes on, you will learn to live with the sadness and you'll become thinking more and more of the good times you had with your friend. As this happens, you may want to continue playing. I don't think that your friend would've wanted you to quit.
