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I need a pep talk

dbase

dbase

Supporting Member
Jan 3, 2008
8,228
28,214
South Jersey, USA..
#1
I'm in two bands that never get or care to practice for various reasons. We are in our 60's and 70's but you would think we were in our teens. Personality conflicts galore. I cant practice bass myself, I need at least a drummer or guitard player.
One band is Country, playing bass for them easy. But we played a gig and the crowd started call in requests, none of which we ever played. H"Hey you know some Neil Diamond?" So to appease them we started playing Sweet Caroline. I sucked big time.. only could conjure up at least two notes that were correct, the rest were out of the park. I couldn't even fake it. I didn't know what key we were in and couldn't find it till the song ended. The rest of the rehearsed gig was fine. Now the 2nd band is a rock band and we have a wedding in May. Nobody has time to practice... We have 4 new songs to learn and since we only play 6 big gigs a year, we need to get tight. Nobody seems to care. I refuse to be embarrassed again at this gig.. Should I just hang it up.. not too many bands in the area looking for a 66 year old bassist. I think I've lost my edge, I want to drop out of TOP GUN. If I cant play well I don't want to play at all. I cant even "Fake It" anymore. Sorry for being long winded. Somebody stop me.
 
#3
Is there any chance you guys can agree on a pre-recorded version of the song(s), everyone learn them dead-on to the recording on their own, then play them?

I play in 2 bands at the moment that are 2 different things (1 is classic rock, the other Jazz/Bossa), but we use the same method with 2 variations.

The rock band literally plays the radio version of the song, with no improving or jamming (:(). But when we add songs, we send out the version of the songs in the keys for the singer/guitarist (thanks to garageband pitch shifting) and we learn them. When we get together and play, we're most of the way there.

With the Jazz thing, it's opposite. It's always changing and and nothing but improvs and jams. We will listen to a version or 2 for an influence, then usually reference a Real/Fake book for the changes/key. We then build our version off that.

iTunes/headphones are your friends!

Good Luck!
 
#4
Why not practice to the song on youtube or something, that's how I learn all the songs for my bands, and I am usually the one that knows them best! not practicing your bass alone just seems like an excuse to me! By the way.....I would scoop you up in a minute if I needed a bass player, age would not be a problem!
 
#5
Our rock band practices that way. We pick the cover song and we each learn that version on our own. When we get together hopefully everyone has done their homework and we tighten up the song. I've been out live and we were going to play "Some kind of Wonderful" by Grand Funk which I think is the simplest bass line ever. The singer says, I want to do it like Jos Stone, Wow .. totally different bass line and beat. She knew the song, the band didn't. This was live on stage. I had to improvise since I never heard that version. They do this kind of stuff. I take a blood pressure pill.
 
#6
dbase said:
Our rock band practices that way. We pick the cover song and we each learn that version on our own. When we get together hopefully everyone has done their homework and we tighten up the song. I've been out live and we were going to play "Some kind of Wonderful" by Grand Funk which I think is the simplest bass line ever. The singer says, I want to do it like Jos Stone, Wow .. totally different bass line and beat. She knew the song, the band didn't. This was live on stage. I had to improvise since I never heard that version. They do this kind of stuff. I take a blood pressure pill.
Click to expand...

That sounds more like a communication issue than a rehearsal
problem. Everyone needs to be on the same page. If you have one of 'those' singers, then you might want to get her to tell everyone way upfront what version she wants to do and in what key. Better yet, ask her to find and provide the version to everyone.

FWIW, I recommend that she provide an iTunes/CD version instead of a youtube version. Youtube versions get mixed up, usually sound like garbage, and can be in different keys or even in-between keys...
 
#7
jarrydee said:
Why not practice to the song on youtube or something, that's how I learn all the songs for my bands, and I am usually the one that knows them best! not practicing your bass alone just seems like an excuse to me! By the way.....I would scoop you up in a minute if I needed a bass player, age would not be a problem!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the kind words... I do practice with a mixer and computer, and play along with YouTube songs... That gets old after awhile as I rather be playing with a live band.
 
#9
Have you considered starting another band with new people if you're not getting satisfaction out of your current ones? It doesn't matter how old you are, as long as you can play bass that's all that should matter!
 
#11
Godfather said:
Sounds like you are done....no shame in moving on to something else
Click to expand...

Sad to say, but I agree with the above. Enjoy the many other things life has to offer. Perhaps you may just need a break. Just remember you can probably always come back to playing if the flame starts roaring again. Also find new or other people to play with. I started out on guitar and then picked up and started playing bass because the first band I joined needed a bass player and then stuck with it along with playing guitar on the side as a hobby. Now that I am currently bandless I got back into guitar and the bass has sort of became my secondary instrument. Of course there is more in life than just music, I also have gotten back into sports. But that's me and my input.
 
#12
I recently quit a band because the guitards didn't have/make time to practice and they didn't care if we sounded sloppy. The few gigs we played were embarrassing, but both of them thought everything was fine. They pretty much ignored every concern that the drummer and I raised over the course of the year we were together. When he and I finally bailed, neither of them could understand why we did it. As someone said above, your problem may be a communication issue, but it could also be that the other members of your band really just don't care. If that's the case, get out because it won't get any better. Something else will eventually come along. For example:

A couple weeks ago, I got a call from one of my old bands. They needed a sub for an indefinite period of time while their bassist is out having surgery. When we got together for our first rehearsal, I was amazed at good we sounded after having been apart for 2 years. But then again, those guys have always put in more effort than the band I had just ditched.
 
#13
You said you train wrecked sweet caroline..let me ask you this:

How did the crowd react?

The reason I ask is that I train wreck that thing and few others every night and the crowd does not care in the least. They LOVE it. Sometimes I want to walk out into the crowd and slap each and every one of them in the face for being so unaware of the suck but, when they're yelling and filling the tip jar...sometimes it takes a little of the sting out of it, sometimes it just makes the frustration worse.

If you're a stickler for presentation, it seems like you're in a pretty toxic environment. The problem with being a stickler is that you will never really be happy and you'll always be pushing for a little more.

I just turned 53 and have been doing it seems like forever. I've been in perfectionist bands that could really produce quality and I've been doing what I'm doing now that produces smiles from the crowd and money from the tip jar. Once you get your mind around the fact that you're there to make other people happy more than yourself and you take a little pleasure in their pleasure, things get a lot easier. Nobody really goes out looking to be impressed by a band except other musicians and they don't pay the bills.

I guess my advice is to take a deep breath and give up. Stop trying to swim against the current and just enjoy the float.
 
#14
I think I got the pep talk for you:

should I just hang it up.. not too many bands in the area looking for a 66 year old bassist.
Click to expand...

Lemmy.jpg


Motorhead - Overkill (live) Full HD - YouTube

1945-Present (66)
 
#15
You are putting sound waves into the air in an attempt to make people feel better/good. Your mistakes disappear as soon as the sound wave decays. The vast majority of the people you play for do not know songs note-for-note. They might know the chorus. They do know whether or not you made them feel better/good.
Ease up on yourself a little and keep rockin'.
 
#18
Steve said:
You said you train wrecked sweet caroline..let me ask you this:

How did the crowd react?

The reason I ask is that I train wreck that thing and few others every night and the crowd does not care in the least. They LOVE it. Sometimes I want to walk out into the crowd and slap each and every one of them in the face for being so unaware of the suck but, when they're yelling and filling the tip jar...sometimes it takes a little of the sting out of it, sometimes it just makes the frustration worse.

If you're a stickler for presentation, it seems like you're in a pretty toxic environment. The problem with being a stickler is that you will never really be happy and you'll always be pushing for a little more.

I just turned 53 and have been doing it seems like forever. I've been in perfectionist bands that could really produce quality and I've been doing what I'm doing now that produces smiles from the crowd and money from the tip jar. Once you get your mind around the fact that you're there to make other people happy more than yourself and you take a little pleasure in their pleasure, things get a lot easier. Nobody really goes out looking to be impressed by a band except other musicians and they don't pay the bills.

I guess my advice is to take a deep breath and give up. Stop trying to swim against the current and just enjoy the float.
Click to expand...

You all are probably going to kill me when you read this but the country band is three piece, two guitards and bass. We play exclusively for Assisted Living centers, Nursing homes and the like. We have a captured audience. Most are in wheel chairs and are wheeled up in front of the band. and when we play we play at full volume with a PA for vocals. No one has ever complained to us about the volume, they all have hearing aids or are asleep.
I could play out of tune the whole set and afterwards they will roll up to us in their wheelchairs and say how great we were and when are we coming back. I, myself know I sucked on some songs and cant stand it. The bad does never practices. They try new songs on the fly. I want to get better, have set lists etc. instead of trying to decide the next song were going to play during the set. I feel we will lose the audience, but they have already fallen to sleep... Its kinda funny to play in that situation but its for a good cause. The rock band is different, we have a structured set decided on well in advance and we follow the set to a T. They too don't have the time to practice because some work out of town and are away for weeks. I'm retired and can play at a moments notice.

I think Steve said it best, to take a step back and stop trying to swim upstream... Or keep looking for another band.
Sound advice, pardon the pun.... I have to get back in my groove and start having fun again with the band instead of being too critical. I feel much better now .. Time for a Miller.
 
#19
I can tell you that as a younger guy (23). I quite like the prospect of learning from somebody who has lived a lot more than I have.

I feel like an old soul a lot of the time. I have a special connection to Chuck Schuldiner, because I feel like he was the same way.

There is a market for older musicians, just don't make your age the focal point, make your experiences the focal point.

I think right now your in a band that doesn't care, and playing to a crowd that doesn't care. The problem is that YOU DO care. Don't quit, but get a new band. Get a metal band, metalheads will try anything lol.

 

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