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I need to vent. We're about to botch a gig.

Oct 27, 2004
395
247
I'm frustrated and need to type. Warning: long ramble.
Last year, an old friend who I hadn't seen in years, we'll call him RG, contacts me about a gig he's got. It's covers, and it's him on acoustic, myself, and RG's friend on cajon. Low key, outdoor, and given two rehearsals, went incredibly well. RG had learned some chords wrong, but we fixed them.

Fast forward to this year, and we've got some time to rehearse. He wants a drummer and a lead guitarist too. The lead guitarist was easy: I called up my buddy, we'll call him LG, from my last band. He was in and couldn't wait to jam again. I drum too, so it was a little bit of a choice. Do I learn the drum parts and call up some bass-player friends that could nail the tunes in 5-6 weeks? Do I play bass and hope he can find a drummer? Hmm.

The second option is what happened. He knew a drummer. I was immediately suspect when I'm informed that he doesn't own a kit and would need to borrow one. (Well that's interesting; he doesn't ever play or practice on his own). The next thing I hear is, "Can he borrow yours?" Now, I'm not a snob. However, my cymbals are brand new, and really thin. My kit was bought secondhand last year. I don't know the drummer or how he plays, so no, I'm not too keen on loaning out my stuff to a stranger, and having him store it in his garage for a month.

First rehearsal, he hasn't touched the kit since we got the setlist four weeks ago. He "listened to the songs". He struggles to keep steady time and misses most of the transitions and sections (verse/chorus/hihat/ride/etc). Last rehearsal, he asked me, "Is that a bass?" I remained diplomatic. "Yes, sometimes basses have 5 strings." Whatever, that doesn't really matter.

Meanwhile, RG has unlearned all the correct versions of the songs, and we're rehashing chords with two rehearsals remaining. A few of the songs have changed key mid-rehearsal. Song roadmap is almost completely gone. It's not consistent from one run-through to another. "I'm not getting that chord." "I skip the solo section when I practice." "What are you playing during the solo section ?" "Ab minor? How do I play that?" Bar chords. "I don't know bar chords."

LG and I are having a great time playing with each other again. Past that, it's frustrating to see people using band rehearsal time as personal practice, especially with so little time to rehearse. The drummer has not played on his own time at all. The chords are on the internet. The song has been played and heard for 20-40 years. The crowd knows how it goes. It's frustrating. I can adapt to key changes, not instantly, but it takes a verse or two to "re-hear" it. But the leader and everyone else needs to be prepared. I stopped one song because RG was not even close to singing the correct melody on a well-known song, and the drummer was missing every last hit and detail, just plodding along out of style. And it's not like we're covering Rush.

I foresee a trainwreck, and there's not much I can do about it. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation.
 
It sounds like you're playing with people way below your level. I think you have 2 choices... accept and roll with it, or walk and find people to play with who YOU can learn from. It sounds to me like this is going to only frustrate you till you pop :) . I'd let it go now, or at the very least start start searching for something better as you move forward.
 
As unprofessional as it may sound, I would do as much as I could to stop this gig or get out of doing it. I hate when I'm not at my best on stage and I REALLY hate when my bandmates can't get with the program and affect my performance. It sounds like RG having to find replacement players won't really affect the overall vibe/quality of the songs anyways.

The way RG is acting reminds of guys I've worked with who are more about the image than being a musician. They're immune to how bad their performance is because all the glory comes from being able to brag to their friends/co-workers about how they're in a band.

On the other hand, maybe RG knows this and booked you for a gig that really doesn't require significant professionalism so he can be himself and just do what he wants without fear of being embarrassed on stage.
 
prince-no.gif
 
As unprofessional as it may sound, I would do as much as I could to stop this gig or get out of doing it. I hate when I'm not at my best on stage and I REALLY hate when my bandmates can't get with the program and affect my performance. It sounds like RG having to find replacement players won't really affect the overall vibe/quality of the songs anyways.

The way RG is acting reminds of guys I've worked with who are more about the image than being a musician. They're immune to how bad their performance is because all the glory comes from being able to brag to their friends/co-workers about how they're in a band.

On the other hand, maybe RG knows this and booked you for a gig that really doesn't require significant professionalism so he can be himself and just do what he wants without fear of being embarrassed on stage.
I would not have made it through the rehearsal. In fact, as a strict rule, I NEVER play with musicians who don't own their own instruments. Period.
 
I'm frustrated and need to type. Warning: long ramble.
Last year, an old friend who I hadn't seen in years, we'll call him RG, contacts me about a gig he's got. It's covers, and it's him on acoustic, myself, and RG's friend on cajon. Low key, outdoor, and given two rehearsals, went incredibly well. RG had learned some chords wrong, but we fixed them.

Fast forward to this year, and we've got some time to rehearse. He wants a drummer and a lead guitarist too. The lead guitarist was easy: I called up my buddy, we'll call him LG, from my last band. He was in and couldn't wait to jam again. I drum too, so it was a little bit of a choice. Do I learn the drum parts and call up some bass-player friends that could nail the tunes in 5-6 weeks? Do I play bass and hope he can find a drummer? Hmm.

The second option is what happened. He knew a drummer. I was immediately suspect when I'm informed that he doesn't own a kit and would need to borrow one. (Well that's interesting; he doesn't ever play or practice on his own). The next thing I hear is, "Can he borrow yours?" Now, I'm not a snob. However, my cymbals are brand new, and really thin. My kit was bought secondhand last year. I don't know the drummer or how he plays, so no, I'm not too keen on loaning out my stuff to a stranger, and having him store it in his garage for a month.

First rehearsal, he hasn't touched the kit since we got the setlist four weeks ago. He "listened to the songs". He struggles to keep steady time and misses most of the transitions and sections (verse/chorus/hihat/ride/etc). Last rehearsal, he asked me, "Is that a bass?" I remained diplomatic. "Yes, sometimes basses have 5 strings." Whatever, that doesn't really matter.

Meanwhile, RG has unlearned all the correct versions of the songs, and we're rehashing chords with two rehearsals remaining. A few of the songs have changed key mid-rehearsal. Song roadmap is almost completely gone. It's not consistent from one run-through to another. "I'm not getting that chord." "I skip the solo section when I practice." "What are you playing during the solo section ?" "Ab minor? How do I play that?" Bar chords. "I don't know bar chords."

LG and I are having a great time playing with each other again. Past that, it's frustrating to see people using band rehearsal time as personal practice, especially with so little time to rehearse. The drummer has not played on his own time at all. The chords are on the internet. The song has been played and heard for 20-40 years. The crowd knows how it goes. It's frustrating. I can adapt to key changes, not instantly, but it takes a verse or two to "re-hear" it. But the leader and everyone else needs to be prepared. I stopped one song because RG was not even close to singing the correct melody on a well-known song, and the drummer was missing every last hit and detail, just plodding along out of style. And it's not like we're covering Rush.

I foresee a trainwreck, and there's not much I can do about it. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation.

I can't play with people who can't play.
 
I'm frustrated and need to type. Warning: long ramble.
Last year, an old friend who I hadn't seen in years, we'll call him RG, contacts me about a gig he's got. It's covers, and it's him on acoustic, myself, and RG's friend on cajon. Low key, outdoor, and given two rehearsals, went incredibly well. RG had learned some chords wrong, but we fixed them.

Fast forward to this year, and we've got some time to rehearse. He wants a drummer and a lead guitarist too. The lead guitarist was easy: I called up my buddy, we'll call him LG, from my last band. He was in and couldn't wait to jam again. I drum too, so it was a little bit of a choice. Do I learn the drum parts and call up some bass-player friends that could nail the tunes in 5-6 weeks? Do I play bass and hope he can find a drummer? Hmm.

The second option is what happened. He knew a drummer. I was immediately suspect when I'm informed that he doesn't own a kit and would need to borrow one. (Well that's interesting; he doesn't ever play or practice on his own). The next thing I hear is, "Can he borrow yours?" Now, I'm not a snob. However, my cymbals are brand new, and really thin. My kit was bought secondhand last year. I don't know the drummer or how he plays, so no, I'm not too keen on loaning out my stuff to a stranger, and having him store it in his garage for a month.

First rehearsal, he hasn't touched the kit since we got the setlist four weeks ago. He "listened to the songs". He struggles to keep steady time and misses most of the transitions and sections (verse/chorus/hihat/ride/etc). Last rehearsal, he asked me, "Is that a bass?" I remained diplomatic. "Yes, sometimes basses have 5 strings." Whatever, that doesn't really matter.

Meanwhile, RG has unlearned all the correct versions of the songs, and we're rehashing chords with two rehearsals remaining. A few of the songs have changed key mid-rehearsal. Song roadmap is almost completely gone. It's not consistent from one run-through to another. "I'm not getting that chord." "I skip the solo section when I practice." "What are you playing during the solo section ?" "Ab minor? How do I play that?" Bar chords. "I don't know bar chords."

LG and I are having a great time playing with each other again. Past that, it's frustrating to see people using band rehearsal time as personal practice, especially with so little time to rehearse. The drummer has not played on his own time at all. The chords are on the internet. The song has been played and heard for 20-40 years. The crowd knows how it goes. It's frustrating. I can adapt to key changes, not instantly, but it takes a verse or two to "re-hear" it. But the leader and everyone else needs to be prepared. I stopped one song because RG was not even close to singing the correct melody on a well-known song, and the drummer was missing every last hit and detail, just plodding along out of style. And it's not like we're covering Rush.

I foresee a trainwreck, and there's not much I can do about it. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation.
Run. Away. Quickly.
 
On the other hand, maybe RG knows this and booked you for a gig that really doesn't require significant professionalism so he can be himself and just do what he wants without fear of being embarrassed on stage.

There is an element of that. RG is having fun, and having fun playing with others. However, "fun" is subjective. I have fun when the band smokes. LG and I were on fire on our last band, humbly speaking. He's a killer hard blues/rock player.

I would not have made it through the rehearsal. In fact, as a strict rule, I NEVER play with musicians who don't own their own instruments. Period.

I need to remember that, thanks.

I can't play with people who can't play.

I hate letting myself go there. I hate thinking that. It's so true though.

To look at it in another way, the leader and the drummer are playing with people better than them. Not everyone in a band is going to be playing with everyone better than them.

However, I think I've gotten to the point where I'd rather not play than play in situations like this.
 
I'd look to get the band out of the gig with RG. Things like this never end well.

Ive played a gig like this only one time. An acquaintance of mine knew I played and needed a bassist as they could never hold one down (should have been a flag). I took the gig and had to learn all their original songs, and at the first rehearsal I was teaching them how to play their own songs as the guitarist, singer, and drummer never kept a regular rehearsal routine. We got it together decently enough, but it was embarrassingly below my standard of quality. When they reached out to me for a second gig a few months later I told them my pay rate had gone up to a level I knew they wouldn't pay and got out that way.
 
Personally, I would take LG and start a new band. If bandmates won't take the time to practice on their own and a mate is dragging in people who don't own gear much less practice, all you've got to look forward to is a band that won't be wanted after your first gig which will go badly if your rehearsals are any indication. It's frustrating, but sometimes you just need to cut your losses and chase what you want.
 
As unprofessional as it may sound, I would do as much as I could to stop this gig or get out of doing it. I hate when I'm not at my best on stage and I REALLY hate when my bandmates can't get with the program and affect my performance. It sounds like RG having to find replacement players won't really affect the overall vibe/quality of the songs anyways.

The way RG is acting reminds of guys I've worked with who are more about the image than being a musician. They're immune to how bad their performance is because all the glory comes from being able to brag to their friends/co-workers about how they're in a band.

On the other hand, maybe RG knows this and booked you for a gig that really doesn't require significant professionalism so he can be himself and just do what he wants without fear of being embarrassed on stage.
No. I would not do that. It's music - do your best to have fun and make it sound good, and guide the band since it's clear they are learning from you. But mostly, have fun!
 
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Yikes!:nailbiting:

Been there and I totally feel for you on that one. Those absolutely horrifying gigs to wince through.

I would not have made it through the rehearsal. In fact, as a strict rule, I NEVER play with musicians who don't own their own instruments. Period.

^^^
This nailed it.

In this case, COVID-19 may actually be your friend. Make up an excuse not to do it. Blame the virus. Sounds like some of your bandmates should be more careful out of the house anyways. :)

^^^^
And this might be worth considering.
 
FWIW, I was brought in to play drums on an EP by a guitarist... I didn't own a drum set. I played pretty well, although was inexperienced with sound levels and technique - but my actual drum playing, sound, feel, tempo, rhythm, fills, knowledge of song structure, ability to lead and also follow, reliability and predictability were all top notch, since I'm used to playing on other instruments with a group.

Not owning an instrument does not mean you aren't perfectly capable of playing it very professionally in a gig if needed.

In my case, the guitarist and his cohorts were much happier with my drum playing in the studio than with their own real drummer (with much better chops than I had back then) whom they'd worked with in the past.

So I would have made the same decision you did, OP.... with similar frustration in the end.

I've often play with musicians who were pretty crappy - but it can still be fun if you can all manage to gel somewhat, and not be too picky about chords etc. Let them play the wrong chords - follow along or agree on a simpler chord structure during the solos or whatever, and make it sound as good as you can with awesome bass fills covering the boring parts LoL.

Good luck!