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In over my head?

#41
Well, definitely the drummer has an awful attitude and probably is contributing his own mistakes and blaming them on you from time to time. Just carry on and don't worry about this band's ****! Do your thing and do it well.

Also, the BL/ guitarist is probably not perfect either otherwise they would have a permanent bass player. These guys may have some good raw talent and professionalism on one hand but they also appear to be blustering asshats on the other.

Amen.
 
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#42
lo_freq_geek said:
I'm gonna practice like crazy for the gig at the end of the month and crush it!
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This is the best you can do regardless of the degree of Eye Stinkiness™ :sour:. You'll improve as a musician no matter what. Just sounds like the drummer is lame in the tact department; he certainly doesn't understand that giving the stink eye isn't gonna achieve anything -- once the flub has occurred, you can't go back in time and change it.

I just used a sub drummer last night after only one very short rehearsal; the guy is a great drummer but understandably wasn't on top of everything, but his attitude was good, so I just smiled at him when he goofed. There were no train wrecks, just a few form misses. The groove was always there, and the crowd loved it (better than with our former drummer). Afterward, he said he hoped it would become a permanent gig and wanted me to tell him what he needed to improve upon. I doubt he would've been as eager to please if I had glared at him during the gig.
 
#43
wintremute said:
Over my head, I hear music in the air. Over my head, I hear music.

In pretty much every aspect of life I want to be around people who are better than me at something, because it pushes me to become better. These guys are taking you on a wild musical journey, and the worst of it is that one of them (who won't make time to rehearse) complains some times? Stay in this rodeo as long as you can, and when you look back you'll say "that was a hell of a ride" with a big grin on your face.
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I agree with wintremute here (and appreciate the Kings X reference!). Wish I could find a gig like that. It sounds fantastic, especially to be able to play all those different styles in one show. Obviously you have talent or you wouldn't be there. Hang in and keep on smilin'!
 
#44
When a person acts up towards you, you have two basic choices, ignore it, or confront them.

If you confront them firmly but politely, usually they will back the **** off.
With this guy, I'd say, "Hey friend, if we want to get tighter, than we will need to rehearse. But you don't play perfect yourself. That fill on _____ song was WAY off man."

My bet, is like most drummers, he plays half your songs about 10 bpm fast, and speeds up and slows down all over the place.

Or just flip him off.
 
#45
Ride it out brother. Toughen up your skin.
You are currently in a great situation because of playing with better
musicians and out of your comfort zone. That = growth as a musician.
I've been there many times. You do feel the pressure from others but you
get to learn a lot under pressure.
Jump in there and enjoy.
 
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#46
You have lots of choices - push for more rehearsal, go find something else, make the most of it as it is, and all things in between - but in the end, it's down to whether you're enjoying it. If you aren't, change something or move on. Sorry, I know it sounds obvious, but if you're just doing it for fun like most of us, it has to be fun! :)
 
#49
As others have said, if you're getting called back, they obviously think you're cutting it. Keep practicing, and politely mention how you'd like to rehearse more if the topic ever comes up.

If the BL and drummer are that tight, and you get confrontational with the drummer, I'd imagine that's a quick way to not keep getting called back.
 
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#50
Just work on your parts and use the drummer for time. Try recording your rehearsals and play along,see if that helps you get a feel for playing live with the band. I have found repetition helps develop the muscle memory you need. Do you play any originals? I have always found it easier to play my own bass lines than trying to get into the mindset of another player.
 
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#51
lo_freq_geek said:
For the past 10 months I have been subbing in a trio. I've known the lead player since high school; he's a decent guy and an AMAZING musician. The song list is all over the map - old country, 70's classic rock, jazz fusion... The gigs are pretty steady at some very sketchy venues but the pay is decent. The drummer and lead player have been together for 5 years but have played professionally for close to 30 years each. I've been playing for most of my life (I'm 52) but its not my main gig - I have a full time career and busy family. They are both WAY more musically talented than I am. I play in the pocket with feeling but I'm no virtuoso. I've learned over 50 songs for these gigs but still make occasional mistakes on gigs.

The main problem as I see it is a lack of rehearsal.. we've had 2 with the drummer and maybe 5 with the lead player and I going over new songs. Were doing stuff like Beck's Scatterbrain and Cobham's Stratus but have never rehearsed them as a band. I learn the songs from the CD then try them live. The 2 rehearsals that we've had have boosted my confidence and tightened up the arrangements. The drummer has blown off at least 6 practices at the last minute but is the first to bitch about me missing a change or other clams. They have another bassist that they use for some gigs but the seem happy using subs - no permanent bassist in close to a year.

I have fun playing out with them and I know I've grown as a musician, but the stress of getting stink-eye from the drummer is getting to me. Plus I am developing a complex because I know I'm not as good as these guys. I have a handful of gigs booked with them over the summer - including some higher profile shows that aren't in dive bars. Any advice? Anyone been in the same boat? Should I ride it out? Ignore the drummer's negativity? Thanks for reading.
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Maybe the drummer thinks the best compliment is criticism? Some people are like that.
 
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#52
If he says anything, just ask him when the best time would be to get together with him and rehears.

If you enjoy the gig otherwise, just do the stealth eye roll when he bring up the misses and keep playing with the band.

PS. BTW.... It doesn't sound like you're in over your head at all. It sounds like you're keeping up and learning just fine.
 
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#53
TL;DR and I bet someone else said this already, but...

The experience for you is valuable, so don't quit.

The next time the drummer gives you the stink-eye for a clam, remind him that it's only music, no one died, and then remind him that he blew off the last 6 scheduled rehearsals. Then tell him until he comes to a number of rehearsals don't expect any miraculous changes.
 
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#54
Im sure you do this.... but when you listen to the recordings of your performance.... what is the problem? Form, not syncing in the groove, not ending well?
If you isolate and fix yourself it will show such a sense of maturity and moxy that the drummer may come around.
It is definitely intimidating but know that you are growing. However if you are not relaxed when you play that growth is going to be limited.
 
#57
I call it, The Dreaded Look-Back - lol !

I once saw Ray Charles swing around and lay into his bass player on-stage, between tunes. Ray was off-mic, it was just for a couple seconds, and the exchange was mostly invisible to the audience. But, it was clear to me that is what was going on.

One of the best soul bands I ever worked with had a drummer that was actively trying to get me replaced with one of his buddies. The band leader stuck by me. Made for a weird working vibe. But the money was good, the arrangements were a blast, the musicians were top-notch, I learned a lot, and it sure kept me on my toes - lol.

So anyway, it happens ...

If you're getting the calls, don't sweat it.
If you feel like you're growing, don't sweat it.
If the drummer's grumping has you pushing to improve, don't sweat it.
Keep working on your thing and learning.

Remember:
"If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room ..." - Anonymous
 
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#58
lo_freq_geek said:
I learn the songs from the CD then try them live. The 2 rehearsals that we've had have boosted my confidence and tightened up the arrangements.
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"The way you practice (rehearse) is the way you play." --Shannon Sharpe (two Super Bowl rings with the Denver Broncos).

You are spot on the money with your assessment. It's not their talent or your perceived lack of improv skills. Talent has nothing to do with it. Coming together pre-performance and playing to a common shared arrangement, making important decisions in rehearsal to smooth potential stumbling points, is key to getting consistently tight on stage. You can't be expected to read minds on stage.

You and your boys need to get into a routine of productive goal-oriented rehearsals, at least short-term to get everyone on the same page. I hope you can impress this on them. The difference in your public performances will be like night and day.
 

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