Interviewing bassist stories

[miked51]

hi all, mike duclos here.....this thread has kept me reading and drinking coffee half the day, when i'm trying to do my taxes. i actually met and became friends with mssr. thunes through mssr. wictor's book (a fantastic read, if you haven't yet). thunes is one of the world's last originals and TW captured that.

i used to write things bass for guitar world and guitar school mags. a little bit for BP, and some for a fledgling mag call Bassist, for whom i was able to interview and write about some legendary jazz bassists (ooh, jazz!)...all in all i wrote this bits for about six years--enough to burn out on it. my stories pale next to tom's....though i do have a few tidbits. I REALLY WISH I COULD THROW THE REAL NAMES OUT THERE. but i won't. many of the people i met were very nice, respectful and often funny.

one guy, bassist for a massive band (i mean, like big) was to begin writing a column for GW. my editor called and asked me if i'd ghost write this guys column. hey why not, it'd be fun. 'c'mon down to the office, we just received the first column from him. come get it.' this was just before the age of email. so i stroll into his office coffee in hand, put the cup down on some small napkin on his desk, chat for a minute, then ask for the column form said massive bassist. editor said: "your coffee's on it." what? i move the cup and there's a coctail napkin with three or four scribbled illegible lines. i took it home and wrote something about the blues. making what i thought he should be in my world.

another guy, also in a very popular band, and somewhat of an innovator on the bass, tapping and all that...he played some extraordinary stuff, no one else was really doing what he did. i gues that's why i said 'innovator' above. i was to interview him and transcribe a signature song of his (that was a bit of a b**** to play.....do we really have to asterisk all of the good words on this site?). only he was on the road, opening for Rush, and for some reason could only call me from a stageside pay phone during the Rush soundcheck. for days my phone would around the same time and i'd be delivered pulsing white noise accompanied by a shouting voice "HI, MIKE. IT'S ____!" and that's all i could make out. i think because my ear became trained to the rhythm of the opening line. anyway, all i got on tape was yelling and nise. so i wrote it out like that for my editor, who found it funny, and unusable.

one more....a hugely successful bassist you've seen everywhere, tv, tv, more tv. the one guy i interviewed and didn't like. a very obnoxious guy. i had to follow up with him on a couple of questions, things unclear, etc.... i left a message on his machine very quickly mentioning a couple of things i'd like to clear up if he had the time....hours later i was stepping out of the shower when i heard a frantic voice wheeling away into my machine. i stood there in towel listening as this guy ripped out his soliloquy.... it was actually fascinating. in my initial interview he came off a bit thick and dull. now he was lucent, poignant, intellectual. i don't care if i jsut misspelled lucent. lucint. luecent. anyway, finally i picked up the phone interrupting this flow of brilliance and laughing to myself. "hey, ____, thanks for getting back to me. the first thing i wanted to ask you about was_____." then he started again. the exact same words he's just floored my machine with. he'd written it all out, very carefully. wow, i thought, that guy really cares. maybe i'm wrong about the guy. then when he was finished he started in again with the obnoxious bit. i wasn't wrong. he was just being careful about his press. smart move. who knows, maybe given the chance i would've let him look stupid.

that's it from me!

Thomas, more....

 

[wiscrna]

From another lurker:

This is pure gold. Thank you for putting yourself out there. As much as this is cathartic for you, please know that your anecdotes are pure entertainment for many of us.

Amusing, fascinating, and cringe-inducing, all at the same time. As an amateur bass player, with zero experience in the music industry, this is education in areas I didn't even know existed.

Mr. Wictor, Mr. Thunes, please don't feel that a relatively small audience share is indicative of this being uninteresting...it's indicative of a lot of people sitting back in their seats, with their mouths agape - enjoying the hell out of what they're reading.

Thank you again.

Will

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

only he was on the road, opening for Rush, and for some reason could only call me from a stageside pay phone during the Rush soundcheck. for days my phone would around the same time and i'd be delivered pulsing white noise accompanied by a shouting voice "HI, MIKE. IT'S ____!" and that's all i could make out. i think because my ear became trained to the rhythm of the opening line. anyway, all i got on tape was yelling and nise. so i wrote it out like that for my editor, who found it funny, and unusable.

Earlier in the thread I mentioned a farting, belching drunk bassist.

I actually caught all his farts on tape. Nine. Yes, I counted them. I thought about doing something with them. In today's world, I could make ringtones out of them, I suppose. But he's no longer the star he once was. I don't think anyone would want to answer his farts anymore.

In another interview, the bassist was calling from Britain. The connection was horrible, and he had one of those regional accents that Americans can't possibly understand anyway. I kept having to ask him to repeat things, and he was getting really impatient with that, so I figured heck, I'll just let him answer and then I'll go back and listen to the tape.

After the interview ended, I rewound the tape to the point where I stopped asking him to repeat, and I tried to figure out what he was saying.

Imagine a man fills his mouth with pebbles, climbs into an empty 55-gallon drum, turns on a power drill, and then starts shouting in Serbo-Croatian. Imagine a Serbian pirate does all that. A Serbian buccaneer going "Ahrrrrr" every three words.

It was hopeless. So I had to call his British agent and play the tape for her over the phone, and she interpreted, bless her heart. She had a great sense of humor, so I was lucky.

 

[Spectrum]

Okay, hours have passed since I picked up this thread where I left off the other day. I subscrined to it somewhere around page 3 and since I'm an insignificant weekend plinker I thought I'd just lurk here and watch the grown-ups talk, but I just wanted to thank Tom, Scott, and now Mike for this great read. This is some of the best stuff I've ever seen on the web, let alone TB. It sure beats the endless "What color pickguard do I choose" threads or "How do I deal with a jerk guitarist" threads and so forth (which are sometimes funny nevertheless).

I think I'm going to pay a little visit to Amazon.com and look up a few things, like maybe a book by Mr. Wictor and a CD by Mr. Zappa for starters...growing up I didn't know anything about Zappa, none of my friends were into it, but all it takes is one good youtube surf to open your ears to different music these days. With the internet there's no excuse to remain stuck in one genre of music, art, or subculture anymore.

 

[tmw]

This has been the best three hours of reading I have spent NOT playing bass in a very long time. TW thanks for sharing. This has been great!

Subscribed.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Okay, hours have passed since I picked up this thread where I left off the other day. I subscrined to it somewhere around page 3 and since I'm an insignificant weekend plinker I thought I'd just lurk here and watch the grown-ups talk, but I just wanted to thank Tom, Scott, and now Mike for this great read. This is some of the best stuff I've ever seen on the web, let alone TB. It sure beats the endless "What color pickguard do I choose" threads or "How do I deal with a jerk guitarist" threads and so forth (which are sometimes funny nevertheless).

I think I'm going to pay a little visit to Amazon.com and look up a few things, like maybe a book by Mr. Wictor and a CD by Mr. Zappa for starters...growing up I didn't know anything about Zappa, none of my friends were into it, but all it takes is one good youtube surf to open your ears to different music these days. With the internet there's no excuse to remain stuck in one genre of music, art, or subculture anymore.

Thanks very much. You won't regret buying Make a Jazz Noise Here. It will transport you with its beauty. I've listened to it now since 1996, and I keep hearing new things in the bass.

Don't get me wrong; every bassist who played with Zappa was great. They had to be. But I just think Thunes achieved perfection. If God told me he would not only heal my hands but would download the skills of one bassist into my brain, as much as I love Ray Shulman, I'd have to choose Scott Thunes because it would be fantastic to be able to express such emotion with my instrument. I listen to bassists for different reasons, and at this point in my life, I'd love to have the opportunity to express with music all that I was feeling.

I've never asked Scott this, but I would like to know if his own bass playing moves him. If I could play bass like that, I'd be doing it all day, sobbing.

As for Mike, I literally had to threaten to kill him if he didn't put his post back up. Something about this being "my" thread.

IT'S NOT MY THREAD! IT BELONGS TO ALL BASSISTS AND MUSIC JOURNALISTS ON THE PLANET!

Are we clear, now?

 

[Harper]

Wow, hard to believe it's been 15 years since "Requiem for a Heavyweight?" That article lead me to Mr. Thunes, which lead me to Zappa. Now I have a four year old who knows all the words to Camarillo Brillo; his favorite version is the one from "You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore Vol. 6.

I really can't overstate the long lasting effect your writing ended up having on my life. In Cold Sweat was the first book I ever ordered from Amazon, and I still refer back to it every few months. If it counts for anything, your work touched the life of a random dude in Iowa in a major way. Thanks!

 

[hodgy]

Thanks very much. You won't regret buying Make a Jazz Noise Here. It will transport you with its beauty. I've listened to it now since 1996, and I keep hearing new things in the bass.

Don't get me wrong; every bassist who played with Zappa was great. They had to be. But I just think Thunes achieved perfection. If God told me he would not only heal my hands but would download the skills of one bassist into my brain, as much as I love Ray Shulman, I'd have to choose Scott Thunes because it would be fantastic to be able to express such emotion with my instrument. I listen to bassists for different reasons, and at this point in my life, I'd love to have the opportunity to express with music all that I was feeling.

I've never asked Scott this, but I would like to know if his own bass playing moves him. If I could play bass like that, I'd be doing it all day, sobbing.

As for Mike, I literally had to threaten to kill him if he didn't put his post back up. Something about this being "my" thread.

IT'S NOT MY THREAD! IT BELONGS TO ALL BASSISTS AND MUSIC JOURNALISTS ON THE PLANET!

Are we clear, now?

Wow, this is some amazing thread, Thanks Tom! And thanks Scott and Mike DuClos for piping in, too. I'm drawn to good writing and writers, as well as music stuff, so it's very cool to see names I've been reading since I was a young 'un airing out some old stories. Some of this dialog is just magical. I love that you mention Bryan Beller, who along with being a phenomenal musician and writer and person, will also indulge me when I want to do acoustic Metallica songs with him.
I feel much the same way about Thunes' playing, I've even gone to see his 'hippie' band twice (and I would normally rather jam flaming chopsticks into my ears than actually pay to watch such a band)just to see the man, the myth, the legend play the goldarn bass. Though I agree with you whole-heartedly with you about 'Jazz Noize' (which I am now inspired to listen to again for the thousandth time), it's the version of 'What's New in Baltimore' from 'Does Humor
Belong in Music' that kills me every time. I mean, My. God.

 

[CGramazio]

This thread has touched me in so many ways. It’s difficult to even find a jump off point to dive in. I feel a sort of kindredness with Tom when it comes to the battle with bitterness and a slow reaffirmation into who you are and where you’ve been. It’s definitely a process and it’s hard to know when you’ll come out of it, if at all.

I was drawn in by just the stories about bass players and the general human interest on who each individual might be, but then I seemed to get pulled deeper down the rabbit hole. To hear about the change in culture at Bass Player Magazine and the constant battles for a thin slice of integrity, the honing of a craft only to see it pushed aside by pettiness. The walking away, the pain, the release . . . the reemergence.

You never know who’ll you’ll affect along the way and I must say Tom, the actual article you refer to with Scott Thunes was the article that got me to resubscribe to Bass Player and was indirectly responsible for me getting a couple small mentions in the magazine in 2001.

I can remember exactly where I was when I read the article. I was living in Hollywood on Franklin, and being the starving musician I was I had let my Bass Player subscription go. You’ve got to cut something out on when you’re on a budget. I was at the newsstand on the corner of Sunset and Poinsettia. If you’ve lived in Hollywood you know it, it’s right next to Rock ‘n’ Roll Ralph’s. I was flipping through magazines when I came across an old friend, Bass Player. You see for me Bass Player was, for a long period of time, like a Bible . . . or at least of tome of sorts. I loved the mag and still have stacks of the old issues including the very first one. When if first came out it was just a summer and fall issue (something like that, I remember it was just two to start, then four a year, and they told two friends, and so on and so on). So there it was Bass Player Magazine with an interview with Scott Thunes. Now I’ll be honest, I really didn’t know who Scott Thunes was at the time, I wasn’t a huge Zappa fan (a deep regret I’ve been remedying), but I was intrigued. I remember reading the whole article there at the newsstand. It was so different and interesting that I still remember the experience to this day. Funny thing is I really couldn’t tell you much about what the article said if you asked me today, but I can tell you that I was changed after it somehow. I immediately decided to resubscribe and would continue getting the magazine until around 2005. I wish you could have gotten a commission Tom, because your article was the sole reason I came back.

Funny thing is I also fondly remember the Gene Simmons article. I’m not afraid to admit that Gene was the reason I picked up the instrument. He’s my genesis, or GENEsis, as I’m sure he’d prefer, when it comes to bass. I remember getting a small mention in the June 2001 issue and a quick album review in October 2001 issue. I corresponded with Greg Olwell at the time and he was cool enough to give a guy from a band self-releasing their albums on our own label a little bit of love. It meant a lot at the time and I can remember jumping up and down in my living room when I got in the June issue.

I continued slugging it out as a working stiff bass player in the LA area until after the birth of my first son in 2005 and the realization one year later that it was time to move on. I feel like I experienced a lot of the same bitterness towards the end. I wasn’t a writer, but I experienced quite a bit of the music business, and after 11 years in LA you walk away with some disheartening experiences. In the end I was burned by my misguided loyalties and some poor choices. I had my share of rotating line-ups in bands and the inevitable bouts with the Hollywood Black Hairs as I call them (you know the indigenous cast of characters around LA, dyed black hair, covered in tattoos, incredibly bloated sense of self). Guys with gold records on their walls and tales of amazing experiences with world renown bands, but not a pot to piss in due to their own execrable selves.

I can remember my last show in 2006 before I left, we played before a world renown bass god, and a personal idol of mine, at a small club on the Sunset Strip. It wasn’t his well known band, but a little project he would often play in. We were finished playing before he arrived so I never got a chance to actually play in front of him . . . I’m not sure if that would have been satisfying or terrifying. Anyway, I was outside after the show, getting ready to go home to my son, when said bass god (who I believe is the same guy Mike is referring to that opened for Rush) arrived and was entering the club. It was my chance to finally go up to him and meet him, and you know what, I couldn’t do it. My buddy described it as being too close to the sun . . . I like to think that it was like Peter Hook told Tom, you shouldn’t meet your heroes.

I ended up moving to Arizona and facing a whole new life shortly after. I tried to start some new projects but ultimately put down the bass until I had to pick it back up. It’s so hard to walk away from something that you love and was so much a part of you. I began a blog about it when I started back up and some friends have expressed their shared feelings on it. If I may be so presumptuous here’s a link to it:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I even played around with a book about my experiences as an unknown failed musician called Let Go Of My Ego: A Tale of False Hopes and Past Glories. But as Tom said, if you’re going to write you need to fully immerse yourself in it and being a regular working dad with a wife and two kids to take care of . . . time doesn’t come so easily. To this day I still only have a couple chapters.

Forgive me for being long winded and going on about stuff no one probably cares about. I’m just a fellow bass player that sacrificed a lot with not much to show for it (well aside from a great wife and two wonderful kids, which is pretty damn good right there) and I was inspired by Tom to let some of it out.

And Scott, the video of your daughter was simply wonderful. I hope my 6 year old, who just had his first violin recital two weeks ago, can reach similar heights at that age . . . Now my 3 year old, he’s going to be a heavy metal singer or drummer, you can book that.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Wow, hard to believe it's been 15 years since "Requiem for a Heavyweight?" That article lead me to Mr. Thunes, which lead me to Zappa. Now I have a four year old who knows all the words to Camarillo Brillo; his favorite version is the one from "You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore Vol. 6.

I really can't overstate the long lasting effect your writing ended up having on my life. In Cold Sweat was the first book I ever ordered from Amazon, and I still refer back to it every few months. If it counts for anything, your work touched the life of a random dude in Iowa in a major way. Thanks!

Wow. You're very welcome. I'm sure Scott will be pleased, too.

A Thunes story for you:

I was never, ever more terrified of anyone in my entire life. Period. The idea of me interviewing such a consummate professional musician was surreal. It wasn't his antics, which I described in detail in the introduction to his part of the book; it was the fact that he was the first musician I'd met who was actually a human incarnation of musical knowledge. He understood music in a visceral way, down to a cellular level.

I'd watched hours of video tapes of him playing and listened to hours of his music before I'd interviewed him, and the closer it came to the actual interview day, the more panicked I became. I even thought about deliberately crashing my car on the way to his house.

He was the first person I would meet in my life--as far as I could tell--who had absolute knowledge of a subject, and I was expected to talk with him, intelligently and productively, on his level, about that subject.

I was terrified that after just a few minutes with me, he'd stop and say, "You're nothing but a fraud, aren't you? Why are you wasting my time?"

I can tell you the exact moment I realized it wouldn't happen: When he said to his wife Georgia, "Good. He's comfortable," and she left the room. Whatever happened next, I knew he at least took me seriously enough to let me attempt to interview him.

The sense of relief was overwhelming. I didn't allow myself to think about what would happen the next day, when the actual interview would take place. All I knew was that this person who had risen to a level of accomplishment that I couldn't even begin to comprehend had decided that I wasn't a fraud.

It was one of my proudest moments.

 

[knowles]

Just wanted to take a second to inform you guys that the amount of "views" for this thread is likely equivalent to the amount that have enjoyed it, regardless of how many have said so directly.
And thanks for all the new listening material!

 

[CGramazio]

Oh and I forgot . . . if all that isn't enough. My father-in-law, who served in Vietnam, often tells the story about why he doesn't go shooting like many of his pals in AZ. He simply says, "Let me tell you, once you've fired a flamethrower nothing else matters."

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Wow, this is some amazing thread, Thanks Tom! And thanks Scott and Mike DuClos for piping in, too. I'm drawn to good writing and writers, as well as music stuff, so it's very cool to see names I've been reading since I was a young 'un airing out some old stories. Some of this dialog is just magical. I love that you mention Bryan Beller, who along with being a phenomenal musician and writer and person, will also indulge me when I want to do acoustic Metallica songs with him.
I feel much the same way about Thunes' playing, I've even gone to see his 'hippie' band twice (and I would normally rather jam flaming chopsticks into my ears than actually pay to watch such a band)just to see the man, the myth, the legend play the goldarn bass. Though I agree with you whole-heartedly with you about 'Jazz Noize' (which I am now inspired to listen to again for the thousandth time), it's the version of 'What's New in Baltimore' from 'Does Humor
Belong in Music' that kills me every time. I mean, My. God.

Thanks for your kind words. Bryan is a great man on so many levels.

For me, the ascension to another plane on Make a Jazz Noise Here is "Eat That Question." Something about the way the bass is playing harmonies to the main theme always gets to me.

 

[yep_scottthunes]

Thanks very much. You won't regret buying Make a Jazz Noise Here. It will transport you with its beauty. I've listened to it now since 1996, and I keep hearing new things in the bass.

Don't get me wrong; every bassist who played with Zappa was great. They had to be. But I just think Thunes achieved perfection. If God told me he would not only heal my hands but would download the skills of one bassist into my brain, as much as I love Ray Shulman, I'd have to choose Scott Thunes because it would be fantastic to be able to express such emotion with my instrument. I listen to bassists for different reasons, and at this point in my life, I'd love to have the opportunity to express with music all that I was feeling.

I've never asked Scott this, but I would like to know if his own bass playing moves him. If I could play bass like that, I'd be doing it all day, sobbing.
?

Man, you don't mind if I alternate puking from tension into a little bucket and crying hot tears for all the lost years, so you? No, I didn't think you would. (this is a joke. I am not doing any of the above. This has been a preemptive irony-free-zone prophylactic statement)

Before I get to the meat of my post, here, I'd like to thank you for the kind words, the statements of appreciation for me and my daughter, and everything you've said that isn't derogatory. Even derogatory's good, nowerdays (no press is bad press, yes? yes!)

But I must put my own stamp of angst on Tom's luscious rantings on my MAJNH stylings. His constant approval is disconcerting and chafes. I can't stop him - you've seen him go - but I can state my case.

When he came over to my house - bless his massive little heart - he was a little cucumber of a muffin. All tender and sensitive. He cared so much! It hurt to watch. I tried to break him. Nope. No such luck. He sucked me dry and watched me turn from a vitriol-filled cupcake into the man I am today. Without him - and the physical love of a good woman - I would be banging on doors of all the clubs in the Tenderloin, looking for my lost karma.

As it stands, I have not only gone back to the source for many of my Zappa memories (Tom wrote about me telling him I'd not listened to these albums for ten years, something about horn players being all over them or not having hgad enough sex on the road) but since then, I've been the happy recipient of an 11-day stint with Zappa Plays Zappa, playing several of my favorite songs in the universe, in, like, ever (as the kiddies say).

This has caused me to not only study in-depth the bass stylings of (sorry, Tom. I know how much you hate pedos, but I'm bringing him into the thread, metaphorically) Roy Estrada and Erroneous, but also to relate several Zappa-oriented stories to the members of that ensemble.

Also, another book-writing friend of mine - Andrew Greenaway - wrote an oral history of the ill-fated 1988 band, using interviews with all of the concerned members (except, notably, the drummer, who shall remain nameless [and I prefer that he does. Thanks. Vulcanism!]) which caused me to attempt to recall many other elements of my time with Frank all those many years ago.

Over the past couple of years, the Zappa-stuff has come back, big-time. I sat in with ZpZ a couple of times and Gail - bless her heart - invited me to come to London for the Roundhouse Zappa 70th Birthday celebration.

I was feted with a sit-down 'seminar' with Jeff Simmons (early bassist and guitarist with Frank), several songs of sitting in with the band, watching a full length orchestral performance of some of his music, and got to stand next to my wife next to the stage watching my wife's and my favorite British comedy group - The Mighty Bush - open up for ZpZ (and me, technically). Beers were purchased, I met many fans, heard many stories, and ate wonderful food, then got paid and had my plane ticket bought for me.

Then, I got to see my good friend, internet sensation (and ex-Special New Friend, 1988) Dr. Dot mention the size of my penis in print, met Ian Underwood, and leave my family for the longest time ever in one chunk (almost three weeks) since starting my family 12 years ago because of MUSIC.

So, after all the horrible things that happened to me (I refuse to apologize for being me, being sensitive and hating all the stupid **** that happened to me even though I still have my health, my limbs, a family and some friends, and a house. I have suffered very little as compared to many in the rest of the world, but I'm not a 'Children are starving in Korea' (thanks, Alice!) type of guy. I'm a privileged white guy living in Marin County. I know how much it sucks to hear the whingings of some hack. But my experience is extremely similar to Toms in that we got screwed by the people we loved and purported to love us. We got screwed by people who couldn't care less for any other humans than themselves and LOVE to screw us. We also - really, actually - happy people.

Even I was happy having had stuff happened to me that caused me to stop playing. I was really actually enjoying myself a lot at the very time Tom interviewed me. He'll remember the endings 1: "And everything else is secondary to happiness, and I don't want to come off like some Zen, hibernating monk. It's not that I stepped down off the mountain to live in the forest" 2: "[Everybody] just wants to be in a rock band. They want their musical ideas to be valid. I'd rather have my life be valid than my musical ideas. I think that's about it." and my favorite: 3: "...why would anybody want to interview a happy person?"

So, having slightly debunked that small element - easily misinterpreted, sure - I'd like to go on record by saying that It's about gat-dang (let's see if THAT passes the swear-filter) time that Tom has gotten his due, and we should all be forcing him to finish up whatever 'novel' he's putting together so we can finally read the roman a clef of Scott's life told in flashback from the insane asylum.

Two things: I'm playing around California (also sporadic ventures across the US) with 20 year veterans of rock, the Mother Hips. I really love what we're doing and look forward to many more gigs with them. Please come see us play. We're awesome rock and roll. I use a 1965 Precision bass I got from an ex-girlfriend. Also, I was recently given (traded a '72 Gold Top Les Paul Signature Bass for it, actually) a 1990-era A/E Precision, fretted. I use that a lot. It's truly an amazing instrument.

Also, my DuClos plays a fracking Danelectro wishbone bass and has for several years. He left old Precision at the gat-dang altar and is a worthless human because of it. I deny you, Satan!

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Forgive me for being long winded and going on about stuff no one probably cares about. I’m just a fellow bass player that sacrificed a lot with not much to show for it (well aside from a great wife and two wonderful kids, which is pretty damn good right there) and I was inspired by Tom to let some of it out.

And Scott, the video of your daughter was simply wonderful. I hope my 6 year old, who just had his first violin recital two weeks ago, can reach similar heights at that age . . . Now my 3 year old, he’s going to be a heavy metal singer or drummer, you can book that.

Well, I care. Thank you for taking the time to respond and for adding your thoughts.

I used to wonder which is the most destructive emotion. Anger? Bitterness? Regret? Jealousy? You know what I think it is, actually?

Self-recrimination. I don't mean self-criticism, because that's a healthy thing. I mean when you berate yourself over and over and over for your inability to achieve what you wanted, or for losing someone or something that was so important to you.

I used to have a Web site, years ago, designed by Georgia Morf, wife of Scott Thunes. We built it to sell my interview book. One day the IP shut it down for some reason; something to do with the billing? I don't remember. But I didn't bother putting it back up, because I was on the last swirl around the drain at Bass Player, and ten years of my life seemed to have been wasted on foolish dreams.

I had posted an essay on the Web site, about having discovered what made me happy. It was too long and--frankly--too schmaltzy. But there is an element I'd like to mention from it. It was a letter to the editor the magazine published about the Thunes interview that I remember to this day, because it directly addressed my biggest fears about myself and it ultimately predicted my fate. Here it is:

"Bravo! Scott Thunes has my gratitude for giving a great interview. Not since Bill Laswell or Anthony Jackson has an interviewee shown the proper disdain for the effusive and sycophantic ways of writers like Thomas Wictor. I sincerely hope this magazine can bring us more such material--either by interviewing more musically conscious people like Thunes, or by sending writers like Wictor back to Tiger Beat, where their slack-jawed efforts are more at home. Bass Player could do with fewer interviewers who are primarily seeking validation for their mindless worship of their interviewees. On his way out the door, perhaps Wictor can take his annoying list of '80s-albums-now-mostly-unavailable (known as Unsung Bass Stylists) with him."

I did get shown the door eventually, yes. So his wish was granted. But the most important aspect of this letter is the fact that the writer was completely and utterly wrong about the dynamics of that interview. What I knew was that Thunes had actually shown me an astonishing level of respect by talking to me. Who was I? Nobody. He had no reason in the world to waste even a second on me, and the fact that he gave me two days shows that he perceived the worth of speaking with me.

What the letter writer was trying to do was get me to hate myself for my efforts, and to force me to engage in such self-recrimination that maybe I'd simply give up. And although I knew that Thunes knew my worth, I did let myself engage in self-recrimination.

When my career as a music journalist ended, I again engaged in terrible, endless self-recrimination. The same thing happened when I began publishing books on flamethrowers and the great military historians of our day ignored them. It was literally only when I admitted that I'd never play bass again and I became partially disabled by Meniere's disease that finally, every last shred of self-recrimination fell away.

Things happen. We sometimes don't succeed; we don't get what we wanted; and we have losses. But I'm now able to fully accept these without hating myself for them. I do regret the years I spent hating myself for my failures, because I didn't have to. What I should've done was fully embrace the successes and be grateful for everything that was positive, pleasant, and beautiful in my life.

I can now do that. It did come from significant losses, yes. But I can honestly say that those losses were worth it, because they finally brought clarity.

I'm now convinced that happiness comes from clarity, not what I thought it came from when I wrote that essay all those years ago. So I have no regrets about how it all went and is going.

 

[yep_scottthunes]

I feel much the same way about Thunes' playing, I've even gone to see his 'hippie' band twice (and I would normally rather jam flaming chopsticks into my ears than actually pay to watch such a band)just to see the man, the myth, the legend play the goldarn bass.

You got me. "Hippie band". Wow.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

But I must put my own stamp of angst on Tom's luscious rantings on my MAJNH stylings. His constant approval is disconcerting and chafes. I can't stop him - you've seen him go - but I can state my case.

BUT YOU DIDN'T! What case did you state? I thought you were going to rip my luscious rantings to shreds by saying, "Frank wrote out every note I played," or "I was only copying what _____ ______ played when he was with Frank."

So what case did you state, exactly? Let's hear you debunk a G-D thing about what I said about your PLAYING, not your state of mind.

And you also didn't answer the question: Does your own bass playing move you emotionally?

Signed,
A Tiger Beat reporter

 

[Spaldo]

Holy crud, i think i'm bearing witness to something pretty awesome here!

 

[CGramazio]

Things happen. We sometimes don't succeed; we don't get what we wanted; and we have losses. But I'm now able to fully accept these without hating myself for them. I do regret the years I spent hating myself for my failures, because I didn't have to. What I should've done was fully embrace the successes and be grateful for everything that was positive, pleasant, and beautiful in my life.

I can now do that. It did come from significant losses, yes. But I can honestly say that those losses were worth it, because they finally brought clarity.

I'm now convinced that happiness comes from clarity, not what I thought it came from when I wrote that essay all those years ago. So I have no regrets about how it all went and is going.

Bravo! Tom Wictor.

 

[suchow]

Absolutely brilliant thread Tom, just spent a few hours reading it top to bottom. Thanks so much for sharing... simply fascinating stuff.

I can't even imagine the frustration you must have experienced at BP after putting so much time and work into interviews that they ultimately killed. What a shame. Anyway, our gain for your behind-the-scenes take on all of it... what you've passed on here is priceless.

Rick