Interviewing bassist stories

[JAUQO III-X]

Tom from your writings, you humility, your honesty, your overall brilliance, your integrity and you simply and outwardly being you.

You are a beautiful human being.

 

[CauliColin]

I think my iq went up by 45 points after reading this thread.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Tom from your writings, you humility, your honesty, your overall brilliance, your integrity and you simply and outwardly being you.

You are a beautiful human being.

Thank you. A short story for you:

I stopped drinking booze in 1991, because I'm a drunk. I arranged to meet a bassist in a bar, since so many of us still do drink, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just can't.

We sat at the bar, and the bassist ordered me a beer. I had to refuse. He was highly offended and went into a sulk, refusing to make conversation with me. This was the preliminary meeting, not the actual interview. It looked like it was going to be a disaster.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. When I came back and began to sit on the stool, the bassist--quick as a striking cobra--slipped his hand under me. I sat on his hand, and he squeezed my junk.

"Gotcha!" he shouted and roared with laughter. It cheered him up so much that he became a chatterbox and we did the interview. The whole time we were there, all my nerve endings were remembering the pressure of that giant male hand gripping my privates.

Now, when women sue companies for millions of dollars after they've been groped, I always think, "You go, girlfriend!"

 

[JAUQO III-X]

Thank you.

You're more than welcome Tom.

A short story for you:

I stopped drinking booze in 1991, because I'm a drunk. I arranged to meet a bassist in a bar, since so many of us still do drink, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just can't.

We sat at the bar, and the bassist ordered me a beer. I had to refuse. He was highly offended and went into a sulk, refusing to make conversation with me. This was the preliminary meeting, not the actual interview. It looked like it was going to be a disaster.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. When I came back and began to sit on the stool, the bassist--quick as a striking cobra--slipped his hand under me. I sat on his hand, and he squeezed my junk.

"Gotcha!" he shouted and roared with laughter. It cheered him up so much that he became a chatterbox and we did the interview. The whole time we were there, all my nerve endings were remembering the pressure of that giant male hand gripping my privates.

Now, when women sue companies for millions of dollars after they've been groped, I always think, "You go, girlfriend!"

That's deep and maybe you should have sued

 

[dave_p]

Man,I wanna say the bassist is Roger Waters,and the guitarist you interviewed was David Gilmour. But, Roger was playing(?) on a recent tour of The Wall. Again! So,that's kinda throwing me off. Seems like I've read statements about Gilmour specifically talking about Waters NOT PLAYING fretless bass on some tracks. Am I correct?!?!

waters was my first thought too.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Here I am doing a reading for my book on bassists, back in 2002. The photographer captured me at the precise moment I was saying "chooch," apparently. My two companions are Pete Gallagher on drums and Stephen Jay on bass.

Stephen Jay has been Weird Al Yankovic's bassist for over 20 years. However, he's also a composer and one of the most technically skilled, innovative, and melodic bassists alive. His music is genuinely astonishing. He's developed a hybrid picking-slapping technique like nothing you've ever seen. It allows him to play rhythm and lead at the same time. He slaps eight- and 12-string basses in a way that makes him sound like an entire band.

Stephen Jay

If you ever get the chance to see his band Ak & Zuie (which is just Stephen and Pete), don't pass it up. The music can actually transport you into an entirely different plane of perception, due to the intricate interplay of the bass and drums. It's based on decades of studying how rhythm and melody can change your brain chemistry and make you feel good. Also, the overtones and polyrhythms interact in such a way as to make you think you're hearing an entire ensemble.

At every reading I put on, there was always one insane person, one person who did nothing but insult me, and one person who sat in front of me reading a different book and ignoring me. It was 100 percent consistent. And they were always different individuals.

It felt as though I'd died and gone to some special hell for failed writers, condemned forever to be gibbered at, insulted, and ignored.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

That's deep and maybe you should have sued

He had no money...

 

[pklima]

He had no money...

Of course not; he was a musician.

 

[JAUQO III-X]

He had no money...

My bad

 

[NWB]

Hands down, this is the best thread that I've ever read!

 

[mixtapelove]

Count me hooked on these stories too.

Not that I ever had any interest in doing so to begin with.... but I don't think I'll ever become a rock journalist. I would have crapped my pants several times over had I encountered some of these situations.

 

[oerk]

What I didn't know was that he'd rigged all his computers, sequencer, and sampler to a power switch so he could turn them all on at the same time, after shutting them down safely, of course. For convenience's sake, he'd mounted the power switch on the wall. It looked exactly like a light switch.

Yes, I cut the power to all his equipment, erasing countless hours of work because like so many of us, he hadn't backed it up.

Well, this is just stupid on his part.

Tom, thanks for this great thread und your wealth of inside knowledge!

 

[Lazarus.Bird]

Incredible thread. Thank you for sharing Tom!

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

An L.A. story:

I was told by someone about a great jazz player who used both electric bass and acoustic. The contact lent me her CDs, and they were indeed great. She was also a heck of a slapper on both instruments. He gave her my number, and she called, all excited about getting in Bass Player. She said it was a dream come true and invited me to a show in Pasadena.

The only problem was that I didn't know what she looked like, because the CDs had no photos of her band, just artistic 50s-style designs, so the initial contact gave me a newspaper clipping that showed a young woman with dark hair and a cute, girl-next-door face. Very sweet looking.

The night of the show, I went to the club and introduced myself to the manager, asking where the bassist was. He pointed toward a woman in a pantsuit standing with her back to me, so I went over and called her name.

When she turned around, I almost screamed. She'd had a total plastic-surgery makeover. She had cheek implants the size of ping-pong balls, giant trout lips, a forehead lift with Botox to give her those angry-eyebrows, an eyelid job, and a chin implant. There was music playing over the PA system, so she leaned toward me to speak, and so help me God I recoiled. Imagine the worst of the Housewives of Wherever combined with the end-stage Michael Jackson. That sweet, pretty face was gone, gone, gone.

I stayed for the show, and she was excellent. Great acoustic soloist. But I was terrified that her new face would make the readers laugh or scream the way I almost did. I didn't want the magazine to print cruel letters about her, which I was afraid the oinker in the editor's chair would do as a hoot. I told her I'd confirm with my boss, and then I'd get back to her about when to set up an interview and a photo shoot. My plan was to ask her to provide pre-surgery images if she could.

"Say, if you already have some photos, that'd be cool, you know?"

The boss okayed it, and then something typically L.A. happened: She would not commit. I called her and she said she was too busy to do it now, but she'd call me back. Weeks went by; I called again and got the same answer. Finally I made one last call in the afternoon, and she sounded half-asleep. I'd woken her up, she said. She'd been out all night on a gig.

"Okay, I'll call you later. Go back to sleep."

I never called her again, and she never called me. For those of you who don't live in L.A., the weirdest thing about his place is nobody commits to anything, even when it's in their own best interests. You could tell someone, "Meet me at that sushi bar on Sunset, and I'll give you a suitcase with a million dollars in cash," and they'd say, "Sure!" and then they'd never show up.

That bassist is still playing, and she's still great, and her face is worse today than it was the last time I saw her. She needs to sue her plastic surgeon into the ground. If she had just let herself turn into a mature woman, she'd be gorgeous. But now she has one of those freaky celebrity masks that you can't tear your eyes away from.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

Well, this is just stupid on his part.

Tom, thanks for this great thread und your wealth of inside knowledge!

Thank you, but I must defend my bassist pal. He didn't expect some apelike computer illiterate to go blundering around his house unsupervised. He had a wife and two very well-behaved cats who had never caused him a moment's grief.

I just contacted him a week ago to tell him I could no longer play the bass, and he sent me a beautiful, heartfelt note about how wonderful it was that I'd managed to play my favorite song by my favorite bassist before my hands went south. Struck just the right tone of celebration that I want everyone to feel when they watch that video. He got it.

And today he thinks what I did to him is funny. Imagine having to act like a clown to try and make a grown man stop crying. He did everything except make balloon animals for me.

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

All is well now. I was just forwarded a link that has granted me a second wish in one day. The first is too personal to share.

But!

As some of you know, interviewing Scott Thunes was an astonishing experience, not only because of the person he is, but because he's truly a one-in-a-trillion player. If you've never heard it, buy Zappa's Make a Jazz Noise Here. Literally nobody has played bass like that, ever. It's pure emotion. The pure, soaring, uplifting voice of the human soul. It entrances you with its beauty.

He stopped playing, and he was very angry for a long time.

He's now playing again, with Mother Hips, and he hasn't lost an iota of his gift. This was filmed two days ago. It even includes a deranged fan having to be knocked down at the end!

Mother Hips @ HOB San Diego Encore - YouTube

Seriously: If you want to experience as near to perfection as you can get on our instrument, buy Make a Jazz Noise Here. Trust me. You'll have to listen to it several times to fully grasp its breadth, but one thing it will do is make you a better player simply if you listen to it.

 

[dhsierra1]

still enjoying this thread immensely, and I'm glad it seems to be therapeutic for you as you share this treasure trove of incredible stories.

I find an interesting parallel here w/TRichardson's long running thread (it's a sticky in the Band Mgmt forum) on how to succeed as an original band. And here you are illustrating the other side of that journey. Very informative putting together putting a few pieces of the music industry puzzle. I'll never put down vulture, er, venture capitalists again after reading about the music industry moguls, yikes......

 

[father of fires]

I think your stories are fantastic but it bothers me to see everyone telling you to write a book. Why must you commercialize your art?

These stories have uplifted me in a way I wish I could explain. Your willingness to share them here for free is part of why they are so incredible. This seems like good therapy for you (and apparently me as well).

Thanks. Seriously.

Edit: I think I should clarify. I have nothing against commercialization I just find it crazy that as a society the moment we see something we like we tell the artist, "hey stop giving this away people will pay for it."

 

[Arthritic_Tom]

still enjoying this thread immensely, and I'm glad it seems to be therapeutic for you as you share this treasure trove of incredible stories.

I find an interesting parallel here w/TRichardson's long running thread (it's a sticky in the Band Mgmt forum) on how to succeed as an original band. And here you are illustrating the other side of that journey. Very informative putting together putting a few pieces of the music industry puzzle. I'll never put down vulture, er, venture capitalists again after reading about the music industry moguls, yikes......

Venture capitalists are benign little Cub Scouts compared to those who run all branches of the entertainment business.

I once had an interview-lunch with a bassist and his publicist. It lasted 90 minutes; since it was summer, the temperature was about 110 degrees. After the interview, the bassist said he had to hurry, because his girlfriend had been waiting for him in the Porsche the whole time, and he was worried that she might be getting a little hot.

He had a set of car keys in his hand when he stood up. What are the odds that she had a duplicate set of keys so she could have the engine running and turn on the air conditioner?

Anyone care to make a bet?

 

[dhsierra1]

I think your stories are fantastic but it bothers me to see everyone telling you to write a book. Why must you commercialize your art?

These stories have uplifted me in a way I wish I could explain. Your willingness to share them here for free is part of why they are so incredible. This seems like good therapy for you (and apparently me as well).

Thanks. Seriously.

seems to me it's not commercialization so much as just getting these stories and parables out there for more people to see than just the few bassists who are on TB and have happened to catch this thread

You mentioned feeling uplifted inexplicably by these stories as have I and obviously a lot of others so there's something pretty special here. With so much garbage and negativity published and praised today, here's a gift of uplift

Peace