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Interviewing Bassists Stories Pt. 3

#421
LSquared said:
Arthritic_Tom said:
.
The other human referred to in your letter requires all kinds of religious trappings to accept that his death was made peaceful by "forgiveness." I don't share those religious views -- or *any* religious views.

Wow. Petty much? I suppose you're supposed to be honored that he conceeded your father as "human".

You are right to "discard" this person.
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I was shocked initially, since my letter was a thank-you note for his art, but then I realized that I'd inadvertently pressed some private button.

I'm sure I said it before, but my favorite quote from Marilyn Monroe is, "I'm always running into other peoples' unconscious."

This helps me deal with what I'd otherwise see as gratuitous cruelty if not outright sadism. Clearly my letter had infuriated this person because of his own issues. It had nothing to do with me. But I can't have such unconscious people in my life anymore.

I have my own issues. Some of the messages I get from people press my own buttons. Big deal. It wasn't their intention, so the problem is entirely mine. I could never write back, "My good man, how dare you mention ___________? Don't you know that I'm an anti-____________?"

You know what it is? I have no interest in "educating" anyone. I just realized it as I'm writing this. If people want to thank me for my work, I thank them for their interest and express my gratitude. I don't take it as an opportunity to lecture them about how they're doing something "wrong" and how their views don't comport with mine.

What a horribly boring, confused world it would be if everyone thought exactly like me.
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#423
NWB said:
Some lyrics immediately came to mind in this latest of develpments.

"Cast in this unlikely role,

Ill-equipped to act,

With insufficient tact,

One must put up barriers

To keep oneself intact."

-Neil Peart "Limelight"

Seems like fitting prose to me.
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My only quibble is that my goal isn't precisely to put up barriers, because that would block all traffic.

What it comes down to is learning to not let things get to me. So far in the publication of this book I've encountered two complete grifters who took me for thousands of dollars and wasted my precious time, and I've lost count of the people who made promises that they never bothered keeping. And plenty of the artists I praised in the book didn't respond to my request for photos, even though I sent them the section about them and they said they were extraordinarily pleased.

(Bryan Beller sent me photos, as I knew he would.)

My initial marketing plan collapsed, too. The day we put Dad in the hospice, something else happened that made me write off Ghosts and Ballyhoo. It would be a stillbirth, I figured. That didn't happen, but as Wellington said about his victory at Waterloo, "It has been a damned nice thing--the nearest-run thing you ever saw in your life."

And then there's Scott Thunes, who recorded a song for me to put on the memorial to my father when my Web site goes up.

If I had barriers, I wouldn't have Scott in my life. For Scott and me to interact, I had to write out a list of pre-apologies for the times we would misunderstand each other. There were ten, and so far we've only had to use the list once.

"Refer to Number Five on The List, please."

I've been in complete sync with only one person in my life, and it lasted only three years. So I expect misunderstandings and even conflicts to arise. The death of my father has caused massive turmoil in my family. Chaplain Leslie at the hospice told me that generally families don't all pull together at times like this. Sadly, it's very true.

In the end, we're all human and we screw up. But I now have red lines. When they're crossed, I flip my on-off switch, and that's that.

Switches can be flipped from "off" to "on," though.
 
#426
Just found this.

No, I wasn't looking for reviews; I'm trying to find the synopsis I wrote for the book so I can use it on my Web site.

German Assault Troops of World War Eye.

Classic.

"Dad, did you fight in World War Eye?"

"No, son, I fought in World War Aye-Aye."

 
#438
Today I sent out all the signed copies of the book promised to all the non-Americans who helped me. I think I've covered everyone.

If I promised you a book or book plate and you haven't received it in two weeks, drop me a message to remind me. Don't be shy. I'm finishing the content for my Web site, which is the second-most expensive thing I've ever bought after a car. The PR firm I hired tells me that a Web site is the most important marketing tool for a new author, so I've gone whole hog. We'll see if I made the right decision.

So things are really crazy right now on every level. If you didn't get your book or book plate, it's only because--

 

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